Morphology of Snow
by ArcadiaArden
Summary: If you duck quickly enough you might avoid the tinsel, but nothing can escape the multicolored lights of Christmas. A little plot, a lot of laughter but please, watch your step on the ice. Sequel to When the Bough Breaks but can stand alone.
1. Chapter 1

Rizzoli & Isles – I certainly don't own them. I give a lot of credit to the people that do and thank them for letting me mess about with them for a bit. The story and any original characters that might crop up belong to my addled little brain.

I have a BETA!: Everyone you can thank snowinmysoul for being insane enough to offer. Many warm thanks from me :)

It's Christmastime in Rizzledom and nothing hurts (much?). I promise.

This is a continuation of When the Bough Breaks but in this story universes collide. Based on my story sketch you shouldn't have to read that one to enjoy this one. For all the angst of Bough this is a snap shot a year and a bit later, we're going to explore the happy life has to bring when time has a chance to move on.

Synergy lovers I think you'll like this one.

Everyone – Suspension of belief/reality required.

Fun fact (well if you are me): inspired by a Christmas song that is stuck in my head and it WON'T go away. I'll leave it up to you all to figure out which one.

* * *

"But Maura I don't understand why we can't use the perfectly nice pre-lit tree you bought last year. Remember, the one with the 5 million, environmentally friendly, LED lights?" Jane ran her hand through her hair as she stared up at Maura in frustration. "You know the one that took me, Frankie and Frost practically six hours to assemble? Ringing any bells?"

"I remember perfectly." Maura stared down at Jane on her couch. "However, last year the artificial tree was purchased for your mother's benefit. It was her first Christmas away from her home and I wanted her to have a tree in the main house during the holidays."

Wrinkling her forehead Jane tried to work out Maura's logic. "So now that it is Ma's second Christmas living here we need a real tree?"

"No. Now that I'm no longer meeting my parents in Vail, I don't have to worry about a real tree being a fire hazard." Maura crouched down, resting her arms along Jane's thighs. "It's our first Christmas together. Literally. Every other year I've left around the holidays to be with my parents." She pushed up, leaning on Jane's thighs and brought their lips within millimeters of each other. "Forgive me for wanting to experience everything with you."

Jane gave in, tilting her head up to close the distance, sweeping a gentle answer against smiling lips. "You don't fight fair."

Maura pressed down, deepening the kiss for a moment before pulling back. "That is simply proof that I spend too much time with you."

"I should be offended by that remark but I might actually be a little proud." Jane shook her head a little. "That was masterful."

"I try." Maura patted the thighs under her hands before standing up and offering Jane a hand up. "If you come quietly I may even be convinced to let you stop at Demut's for a cruller."

Jane eyed her suspiciously "Does the cruller mean I have to go to hot yoga to purify myself tomorrow morning? Because eww, no. I do not need to see that amount of sweating humanity in one room ever again."

Maura let out a sigh. "Fine, no bikram yoga tomorrow morning, even if I do enjoy the endorphins and the fluidity of my muscles after. There is nothing quite like it." Impatiently she offered her hand again.

Jane took the offered hand and let Maura haul her up. "You know, if that is the only exercise you can think of for tomorrow morning that makes you sweat until you get an endorphin hit and fluid muscles, then my technique is all wrong."

Rolling her eyes Maura muttered something indistinct under her breath as she led the way to the front hall closet, jumping when Jane pinched her side.

"Cursing at me in foreign languages is not allowed." Jane ignored the glare leveled at her.

"I did no such thing." Maura rubbed her side with a frown.

Jane waived a finger at her. "I don't believe that was English."

Pursing her lips, Maura tried to hold back a smile. "It wasn't."

"So you lied?" Triumphant, Jane opened the coat closet and pulled hers on while she waited for Maura to debate her choices.

"No."

Jane took a deep breath. "Okay, so let's me try to be more clear. Maura what did you just say?"

"No."

"Wait what? You're not going to tell me?" Jane took the coat Maura picked out and held it open for her to step into.

Maura smirked. "I did tell you. You asked what I had just said and immediately prior I had said no."

Stifling a laugh behind her hand, Jane snorted. "Good lord woman, it's too early to drink but I swear you're going to drive me to it before the end of today." She stalked over to the front door and held it open. "One last time. When you were muttering in whatever language you were muttering in, what did you say?"

Smiling sweetly, Maura tossed Jane the keys to her car. "Rough translation would be God bless your mother."

"Okay now I'm really offended."

* * *

It had to be the 20th tree she wrangled upright. Jane internally groaned as Maura's eyebrows drew together and that was not a good sign. At this rate she was going to miss all of Sunday football. "Can you at least give me a clue as to what we're looking for?"

Running her hands along the pine needles, Maura tugged a bit, making sure the tree was fresh before stepping back. "We are looking for a Christmas tree."

Shaking the trunk in her hand, Jane gestured up and down the length of it. "Madame I present to you one Christmas tree." Jane spun it around carefully. "I know I told you we needed to pick out a healthy, uniform tree but this one is the last on the lot. This is it, you've seen them all and most of them were good."

Maura shook her head. "I don't believe this one will work."

"For the love of all that is holy, why not? It's green, it smells good and it doesn't have a bare spot that I can tell." When Maura shook her head again, Jane dropped the tree, watching it crash back and bounce against its neighbors.

"I don't know what to tell you. I'll know it when I see it." Chewing her lip Maura looked over the tree lot. "Why don't we go out to an early dinner and then take a quick trip to that lot over by the Stone Zoo?"

"Oh no you don't, nice try Dr. Isles. Like I wasn't going to see through that." Jane wagged a finger for good measure. "You want to go all the way to Stoneham to pick out a tree after only one lot in Cambridge?" She swept her arm around the space. "This one, well stocked lot, with perfectly nice trees? Not to mention, we have all of Somerville, Medford and Arlington right here."

"Stoneham's close and I pass that lot frequently when I take the back roads to volunteer at Winchester Hospital. It appeared to have a variety of options and tree types."

"It also would bring us right by Zoo Lights. I told you. Never doing that again." Jane closed her eyes. "Stop with the puppy dog eyes. Just stop. No."

Maura let out an exasperated sigh. "Jane! Why not, your mother had the sweetest photos of the three of you there, year after year. It looked beautiful."

"It's not beautiful, it's disturbing. The dolls move Maura. They stare at you and they move." Jane folded her arms across her chest. "Do you even remember the doll case? It's like that but they twirl. Ugh. Not going to happen. No way, no how."

Tilting her head, Maura looked at the woman in front of her. The crossed arms, the one leg out stance, the raised eyebrow." Is that a challenge?"

Jane hesitated briefly. She had enough experience with Maura to realize that the smooth tone and contemplative expression did not bode well for her chances of success. But still. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "It's whatever you want it to be, but the answer is going to be the same so why waste the effort? No."

Before she could reply, her mobile phone rang nearly in tandem with Jane's. Maura fished her phone out of her purse, trying to ignore Jane's growing smile.

Winking at Maura, Jane pulled hers phone off her belt and kissed it, smiling wider at the glare sent her way. "Rizzoli."

Narrowing her eyes, Maura mouthed "later" before holding her phone up to her ear. "This is Dr. Isles."


	2. Chapter 2

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

One more - the case in this story, read with care if you trigger easily.

* * *

"Hey Jane, Maura." Frost waited for them to finish giving their credentials before rattling off his own badge number. "Somebody forgot to get the word out that Sunday is for football, not murder."

"Some of us weren't getting to see the game, we were seeing how many trees we could possibly find fault with between here and apparently Stoneham." Jane flinched at the pinch on her arm, scowling at Maura as she walked by and Frost as he laughed into his fist.

Coughing a bit, Frost followed Jane up the driveway. "I take it she won on the real versus fake tree battle?"

"Did you even think I was going to win that one for a moment?" Jane carefully memorized the layout of the house and driveway. "Can you take a picture? This driveway is narrow, steep and lined with granite retaining walls the whole way up. You'd have to know how to get in and out of it."

At the top she noticed Maura crouched by a set of brick steps. "Find anything?"

She pointed to the debris. "It appears to be a significant quantity of pine needles, but here the needles seem to have come under pressure and there is a black mark above. I'm going to sample both."

Jane looked slowly up and noticed pale white streaking on the grey retaining wall. "Something scraped along the wall here too. The finish of the stone is disturbed and it has to be fresh if we can still notice it." She moved out of the way so Frost could get pictures and when Maura was finished she offered her a hand up.

Approaching the front door of the two-family Jane paused to study the house and entry. "Frame and door appear to be intact." They walked over the small patch of grass in front, looking down, careful as they stepped in single file, respecting the markers. "Window casings look undisturbed." She started down the side of the house to the back before she realized neither Frost nor Maura had responded.

Jane looked over her shoulder to check on Maura, watching her intently study the house façade pointing something out to Frost. "Do you guys see something?" When Maura still didn't seem to hear her Jane cleared her throat. "Maura!" An elegant eyebrow arched in her direction. "Sorry. I was just asking if you saw anything."

"Not for the case, not yet." Maura gestured to the building. "They have their Christmas lights up already. Frost just offered to help you hang some at my place sometime this week."

"Are you serious?" Both of them stared at her and Jane threw up her hands. "Come off it Frost, dead body, gumshoe thing, any of this familiar?" Jane spun around and marched off, studying the windows and the house siding as she went, noting that so far everything appeared undisturbed.

Feeling Frost catch up, she growled at him under her breath. "Thanks for nothing. I will have you know, I almost had her convinced to put some candles in the windows and a wreath on the door. Now I'm going to get to hang off the side of her brownstone and pray that Rudolph will save my ass when I fall. I take it she went inside to start processing?"

Frost nodded. "Word of advice, a little holiday spirit wouldn't kill you. What is with you this year? I would think you young love birds would be dancing under the mistletoe all season long. If I remember right a few months ago, you were a bitch and a half to deal with because you thought Maura was going away for Christmas." He paused next to Jane in the backyard. "First glance it looks clean here too."

Jane walked over to the back entry noticing that the leaves plastered in a small pile up between the welcome mat and door were undisturbed. She pointed it out to Frost. "Doesn't look like it's been opened recently, maybe they only use it during the summer to get to the back yard." When he nodded, she sighed. "And I have plenty of holiday spirit. I'm just facing that first Christmas together gift panic."

She held up a hand to stop Frost from speaking. "And before you say it I know she'll love whatever I get her and I know she doesn't care about shit like that." Jane shrugged. "Doesn't mean I don't care though, I wouldn't mind knowing I got her something memorable."

Jane looked carefully around them, making sure they were alone. "I'm going to tell you something that you can't tell anyone, especially my mother or Frankie. Can you promise?" Frost nodded and it seemed sincere. "I think the problem is I think want to propose. But this is Maura. She told me once after the Fairfield case that she has a two year rule. She has to be with someone for two years before she can commit to something as serious as a marriage proposal. It was all studies say this, studies say that, insert mumbo jumbo and in the end you have Maura logic."

Jane glanced at Frost but he was still simply listening. "It's the only gift I keep coming back to. Everything else seems, I don't know, wrong, off somehow. But I don't want to force her into a situation that she is uncomfortable with. What we have is pretty damn good anyhow. The ring thing is a little old fashioned and cliché at Christmas anyhow." She gave a little sigh. "Right now I'm thinking of a weekend away in Vermont at some bed and breakfast thing. It will be fine, but it just doesn't feel right."

Jane leaned back against her heels rocking, staring at the house, refusing to look over at Frost.

"If you wouldn't make my life hell, I'd tell you that this kind of sweet. Foolish, but sweet." Frost smiled at her mock glare, chuckling with her. "Knowing Maura, I don't think that rule applies to the two of you." Frost winked at her. "You'll figure it out and in the end it will be the right choice. Until then, lighten up. Hang up some lights, drink some eggnog. Are you ready to head inside?"

Jane nodded and retraced their steps to the front door, navigating uniforms and absorbing details. The home was well kept and stylish. She studied photos and waited while Frost continued to snap pictures. She finally found Maura hovering over the body next to an impressive Christmas tree.

Jane crouched down next to her, wordlessly accepting a pair of latex gloves. She looked around the room, at the ceiling, at the entryway, before she scrutinized the position of the furniture and noted the broken glass ornaments by the victim's feet. "She was attacked here."

Frost nodded, pointing to the permanent indentations in the rug. "Couch was moved at some point and whoever put it back didn't get it quite right. It must have been a blitz attack. Ornaments only seem to be missing from this part of the tree."

Jane ran a finger along the victim's disturbed clothing, noting the underwear hanging off one ankle, the skirt still pushed around her waist. She brushed the collar of her blouse aside and looked at Maura. "Strangled?"

Pulling the victims lower eyelid down, Maura flashed her penlight against the surface for Jane to see. "Possible."

The spidery veins and dark spots had Jane mentally converting Maura's possible into probable.

Jane looked over to Frost hovering in the doorway. "Who called it in?"

"The husband. He's waiting in the dining room."

* * *

Maura looked up as Jane walked through the morgue doors.

Gesturing to the body on the table Jane peered into the chest cavity. "How come you did the autopsy tonight? I was surprised when I saw your text."

Maura carefully put the heart back in place. "I wasn't sure if you were planning to stay with me. It's Sunday and with the murder we were unable to talk about your plans for tonight. I thought I would stay busy until you were done with the husband rather than go home and wait to find out."

Jane tried to get an understanding of Maura's mood. She was in work mode that was clear but there was an edge to her tone. "Plans? Originally, my day was going to be you, me, the Patriots, dinner, avoiding the question of the day from my mother at dinner, complaining to you about my mother's questions and," Jane waited for Maura to look at her, "then carefully counting each of your freckles for the rest of the night."

Maura couldn't stop the smile. "That seems to be a favorite pastime of yours."

The smile was there but the tone was still measured. Jane walked around the table and stood behind Maura, stroking lightly along her lower back. "It's my favorite pastime. Someday I'll actually make it past your shoulders before I get distracted."

Maura leaned against the touch for a moment before she continued to place organs back into the abdominal cavity. "Careful, I always worry when I have the needle." She felt Jane straighten up but the touch remained. "Well you and I went tree shopping this afternoon rather than watch the game, your mother is with Tommy still shopping for TJ's Christmas presents, but I would imagine the last part of your evening could still happen."

A soft sigh escaped as Maura continued working. "You know, you would have more opportunity to practice your staying power if we weren't spilt between two locations. I know I would appreciate knowing you were coming home rather than wondering if you planned on staying at your apartment." Jane's hand stilled on her back but it remained in place.

Jane bit her lip, always back to this. "We've talked about this and I know you don't agree, but I don't want people thinking my entire family is living off you. You already have my mother there." Jane watched the abdominal fascia get pulled together, the needle flashing in and out. She gave Maura a moment but she remained focused on her work.

Maura changed the gauge of the needle and the weight of the thread before starting to stitch the skin. "I simply do not see the difference between living the way we've been living and physically sharing an address."

"There probably isn't much of one. I can't help if I'd rather be with you than not." Unable to help herself, Jane slipped her hand under Maura's scrubs and touched warm skin. "It's not logical, you're right, but it's important to me. You're important to me. We're important to me. When we're old and grey and celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary you can remind me about what an ass I was." That earned her a full Maura Isles smile, complete with soft eyes.

"I may find you so frustrating I may have kicked you out before then."

Jane nodded readily and lightly ran her palm along Maura's skin. "Oh I'm sure of it. Probably, at least three times. But then you'd take me back because you'd miss me too much."

Tying off her last knot, Maura stood up and leaned back, just enough to feel the warmth and connection, mindful of her speckled surgical gown. "Current evidence would lead me to agree."

"I want to kiss you."

"Not in the morgue and you know it. Just be happy I love you enough that I'd rather spare you the potential pathogens." Maura could feel Jane sigh against her back.

"Autopsy give us anything interesting?"

"Actually, yes. She was sexually assaulted as anticipated and the tissue damage was extensive. Enough so that I would believe the assault was the primary motivator. Initial swabs are clear for semen and pubic combing did not reveal any trace evidence to the naked eye. I collected what I could and we'll stain the slides tomorrow when Susie is in to review with me." Maura gave a soft sigh. "I don't expect the trace will reveal much evidence. He seemed to know what he was doing and what to avoid. I suspect he will have a record for sexual assault. As you presumed, the COD was strangulation. But what was intriguing was the ligature mark." Maura stepped away and tilted the victim's chin up, letting the surgical light highlight the purple mark.

"Oh, that is interesting, what could have made a pattern like that?" Jane leaned down and stared at the mark. "Are you done collecting trace?" When Maura nodded, she traced her finger lightly over the small irregular, almost diamond like pattern. "Why is that pattern only on this part of the neck?"

Maura leaned down next to Jane and examined the mark again. "I don't know."

Jane glanced at her from the corner of her eye. "Are you upset with me?"

Tilting her head Maura peered up at Jane "I don't know."

"Can I make it up to you?"

"Perhaps." Maura smirked. "Sing in the BPD Holiday Choir with me this year."

"Oh hell no."

* * *

A/N - anybody with me for a little holiday merriment and mystery? FYI - the rating on this will change so please check under "M" if you think you've missed an update.


	3. Chapter 3

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

* * *

Frost barely had time to stop and hold the hot coffee away from his body when Jane stopped in front of him without warning.

Jane stalked slowly over to her desk, step by deliberate step. "Korsak you are an ass." Korsak looked up at her cheerfully. The closer she got the larger the smile he wore until his shoulders started to shake with barely repressed laughter. The Santa hat perched jauntily on his head started to slip off to the side.

Trying to ignore the sniggering coming from Frost at her back Jane plucked the hat off Korsak's head with her forefinger and thumb. "You look like a fucked up Santa Claus, old man."

Korsak simply laughed a little harder, standing up to accept a coffee from Frost. When he had calmed down enough he took a small sip. "This is good, thanks Frost." He smiled again at Jane. "Now Janie you can't be pissed at me, I was just following orders from your girlfriend."

Jane pushed past him and collapsed down at her desk before shaking the hat in her fist at him. "You don't get to call me Janie when I'm annoyed at you. You have to earn that right back and I call bullshit that Maura told you to sit at my desk and wear this stupid hat."

Sitting down across from her, Frost rocked back in his chair, smiling. "Ahhh, Jane, you can't let yourself get upset. I hear it's bad for the vocal cords."

The one fingered gesture she flipped both of them with was hardly the satisfaction she wanted. Jane picked up the fuzzy red and white hat with its BPD logo on the front and groaned. She had to stop letting Maura win these ridiculous standoffs. She looked up to see both men looking at her.

Frost raised his eyebrows at her. "Do I even want to know how you got roped into singing in the BPD Holiday Choir?"

Korsak started laughing again, "Oh let me answer this one." He tried to spit out his words between chuckles. "It's about 5'5" and sports a killer set of legs." He ducked just in time to avoid the pen Jane hurled at him across the room. "Nice try, but like I wasn't going to see that coming. Come on tell me I'm wrong."

Both men looked at her expectantly. Jane could feel the heat creeping up her neck. He wasn't wrong. Scenes from last night floated through her mind. What could she possibly say? Not the truth. Jane gripped her thighs under her desk to resist trying to rub at her flushed cheeks.

She was willing to bet neither of them would have survived walking out of the bathroom to Maura sitting cross legged, in the middle of her bed with nothing but a fuzzy white and red hat on. That flash of a slow smile and a languid wink, Maura's voice pitched to that octave that floated down from her ears to rest between her legs, the words pulling her closer. "I thought we could work on your staying power Detective. Do you think you can last past my shoulders tonight?" Maura's hair still held the fresh hint of her shower as Jane inched closer until the taste of her skin combined with heady aroma and her next words. "After all, I believe I owe you for earlier and usually we do things together. I like doing things with you. Would it be so horrible to be part of the choir with me this year? Don't you want to sing with me Detective?"

Jane shook her head lightly, drawing a deep breath in. Really as if there was any other answer last night than to revise her 'hell no' to one very clear 'hell yes'.

"Let's just leave it as it was important to Maura that I sing in the holiday choir this year." When both of them started to laugh into their fists Jane gave in and buried her face in her hands. "Enough, I'm letting this go in the spirit of the season but both of you can go away now." She sat up and crossed her arms across her chest. "Seriously, shouldn't we attempt to earn our paychecks? Korsak you haven't even asked what Frost and I did this morning."

Korsak shared a last look with Frost before clearing his throat."What did you and Frost do this morning?"

"We interviewed the neighbors." Jane smiled. "Ask me how fun that was?"

"How fun was that Jane?"

"Oh right about the time we finished with bored housewife number three hundred, Frost and I had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. McGinny. Mrs. McGinny was old in 1973, enjoys Frost's aesthetically pleasing derriere and thought we were there to buy her special mistletoe. For medicinal purposes only of course." Jane rolled her eyes with Frost. "Take it away Frost."

Frost flipped through his mobile phone photos and brought it over to Korask. "This is the view from her front room. That's a photo of our vic's driveway across the street. Apparently Mrs. McGinny believes our vic had a gentleman caller because the same van, that may or may not be blue, was in the driveway two days in a row and both times the gentleman caller was in the house for about an hour at around 4:00."

Korsak stuck his lower lip out while he considered the information. "And she is sure of the time because?"

Jane grinned."Apparently Mrs. McGinny holds religious dedication to self medication at 4:20. Just don't ask her about make of the van or color of the possible suspect's hair. Can't remember anything else. I'm having her come in to work with a sketch artist anyhow."

Korsak groaned. "Well that will hold up in court. The high old lady across the street saw a van that may, or may not be, blue. Well we can see what the Doc has to say about the time of death." He pushed his chair away from his desk. "Anything else?"

Jane flipped through her notes. "Husband's alibi was airtight. He was over at the Harvard Club for a business meeting and lunch."

"What kind of person has a business meeting on a Sunday?"

"Someone who belongs to the Harvard Club." Jane grimaced.

Frost stared at her. "What does that mean? My father belongs to the Harvard Club." At her raised eyebrows he sighed. "Never mind, I just made your point." Frost tossed his phone down on his desk and sat back down. "The only thing missing from the scene was the woman's engagement ring. Husband says it was a Tacori worth about 10 grand."

Korsak tossed his pen down on the desk. "Frost, see what you can figure out about their finances just in case."

"Already started last night. The wife had a modest insurance policy and I am still waiting to get access to their bank accounts."

Jane stood up and was about to open her mouth when both men waived her off. Frost didn't even look away from his computer screen. "We know. You're going down to the morgue to get the autopsy report, or the lab results, or any other excuse to go downstairs."

* * *

The light was on in the autopsy suite and Jane pushed through the doors, surprised when it was just Dr. Silva inventorying the instrument trays. He took one look at her and pointed towards the lab.

Jane walked though the empty lab and checked the office space but Maura wasn't there. She smiled and exchanged greetings with the various techs before pausing at the back door to Maura's office.

Maura's back was to her. Her shoulders were rounded slightly as she double checked what she was typing, the recorder playing back her voice during an autopsy. She hadn't bothered to take down her hair and the ponytail left her neck exposed. Jane sucked against the tingle along her lower lip. She loved Maura's neck. There was something vulnerable about the delicate expanse. The taste of the feather soft skin, the sensitivity of the flesh and the reassuring beat of Maura's pulse ticking under the surface.

A delicate shiver skipped down Jane's spine as she thought about the feel of skin against her tongue last night.

She had hung up Jo's leash by the back door and followed the trotting steps of the terrier into the house. Passing the kitchen she noticed Maura had tossed a salad for dinner and her heartbeat picked up. A salad was designed to be eaten cold. Jane knew where she'd find her and she moved quickly through the house to the master suite.

The shower had been running and the ensuite door was cracked open. An invitation.

The bathroom was dark other than the nightlight and the glow from a city night filtering in through the window over the jacuzzi tub. Educated in the intimate internal workings of one Dr. Isles, Jane could translate this. A shower translated to wet and fast. After their conversation in the morgue Jane wasn't surprised. That small vein of vulnerability winding between them had been exposed.

Jane pulled off her shirt and bra. This was a need to reconnect. Her pants came next. This was a need to be reclaimed.

The shower room door opened and closed with a light click behind her. Maura didn't turn around, sighing in contentment at the kiss to her shoulder, the moving trail of pleasure up her neck and along her ear, sucking gently, making her shift from one foot to the other as the sensation tightened in her body.

It was the wet shift of Maura's body against hers that made Jane's heart start to pound. Fast echoed in her mind and she was intensely grateful. She needed this too. Jane splayed her hand against Maura's abdomen, drawing her close, stroking the surface.

Maura bit her bottom lip when Jane's touch was removed. She pressed her curves back into Jane hearing the light hiss by her ear before teeth closed against her neck and she groaned. The hand came back to her abdomen, slick, and the sweet smell of her body wash coiled around them. Dual touches played playing along her skin. Pressure ebbed and flowed without predictability stealing her breath. The click of the body wash bottle, those fingers cupping her breasts, slipping over and around, teasing until the briefest touch against her nipples sent her forehead crashing against the wall with a whimper.

Jane closed her eyes. The perfection of aroused flesh against her palms, water flowing around them in the dark and the grind of their bodies meeting together had her rapidly losing control. The rough draw of hardened nipples between her fingers, the sounds of them together bouncing off the tile, the soap rinsing away making each touch rougher and Maura's approval rose above the pounding of water in her ears.

Pinch, hear the moan, squeeze, listen to a breathy gasp encouraging her downward and Jane dragged her hand over ribs, over hips, her own voice mingling in the room when Maura arched back into her, head against Jane's shoulder.

Maura bit her lip hard as seeking fingers brushed over her with intention. Fast. She needed fast and hard and Jane knew it. Fingers didn't deviate, didn't tease, Maura felt herself sag against braced thighs when deft fingers found her clit and stroked downwards. Hard. Inside she ached at each deft stroke and she pushed for more, the sounds falling from her lips cut by the jetting water. Inside she was blooming, the pressure painful. She needed more. Spinning around abruptly, Maura grabbed Jane's face and found her lips, pouring every inch of need into her mouth, letting go to stifle a cry against her shoulder when there was a pounding answer of fullness pushed into her, fingers sliding in, hitting up relentlessly.

Maura was tightening around her fingers, the sounds bringing Jane to the edge as she pushed into her harder and harder, the burn running over her shoulders, the pain becoming pure pleasure. The body against her started to tremble, and Jane twisted her touch, pushing everything into each stroke until Maura arched suspended, her call echoing between them as everything flew out of her in a rush.

Muscles trembling from the effort, Jane lowered them both to the floor, smiling at the breathless kisses peppering her neck.

Jane startled out of her thoughts when the recorder clicked off and she glanced quickly around Maura's office, embarrassed as if the tribal masks around the room could read her thoughts. Maura sensed her presence, turning around to look up at her over her shoulder. Meeting her eyes Jane felt herself fall a little bit more in love with the woman seated in front of her. That was the crux of them last night, instinctively knowing when to give and when to take. Jane stepped behind her and brushed her thumb along the exposed skin of Maura's neck softly, meeting hazel eyes. "I love you."

Maura covered the hand on her neck and pressed lightly. "I love you too." Dropping her hand she saved the document she was working on. "Was canvassing the neighborhood successful?"

Jane moved to rest a hip against Maura's desk. "Does sort of count as an answer?"

"Not really."

Jane sighed. "The elderly neighbor across the street claims she saw a blue van at about 4pm the past few days. Only she was so high when I was talking to her I'm not certain I believe she was aware what day of the week it is. Other than that, the only other anomaly so far is a missing engagement ring."

Maura pulled up her autopsy report on the screen. "4pm would fall within the acceptable range for time of death. I can tell you that she was definitely strangled and her blood work came back clean. I'm sorry but nothing else is back yet."

Jane sighed. "The rest of my afternoon is going to be spent combing the Sexual Assault Unit's database of unsolveds to see if anything matches."

Maura looked at her sympathetically. "Sorry." When Jane smiled and shrugged she pushed back from her desk so she could turn and face her. "Is Barry still able to come over tonight to start the lights on the house?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Yes, and I had to listen to my brother whine that Ma is making him help too. So yes, the Christmas lights will go up on the house tonight."

"Tell the boys to look at it this way. Your mother is going to be cooking and I went out to Beer Works at lunch."

"Beer Works?"

Maura nodded. "I have a case of Winter Warmer in the trunk ready to go."

"Almost makes me forgive you for giving Korsak that freakin' Santa hat." Jane grimaced. "He is having too much fun with this."

"I still do not understand what the issue is with your participation in the choir."

Jane took a quick breath in and out, hands highlighting her words. "Like I told you last night, the BPD Holiday Choir is one of those things that young, ambitious, uniforms who are trying to show that they want to advance their careers participate in to show they support the community." She gestured to herself. "I'm a detective. I'm past that part of my career. More to the point, my job, if anything, is to haze the choir participants."

"Jane that is simply wrong!"

"It's a holiday tradition." Jane drummed her fingers along the surface of Maura's desk. "It's like sending Frankie dumpster diving. We have to do these sorts of things on our way up." Sighing, Jane decided to change tactics. "I have to ask, how did you become involved with the choir in the first place?"

"Officer Hill invited me and I thought it sounded like an opportunity to be part of the division during the holidays."

"Hill invited you?" Jane started to laugh. "Oh poor, pathetic, Marty. I'm not going to even rag on him much." She gave a little snort. "That poor boy has such a crush on you."

"He does?" Maura considered the invitation along with that information. "That changes my perception slightly, but I still think it will be fun."

Jane gave a long sigh. "You don't say. Well I'm sure Hill will be thrilled to see me." She pushed away from the desk. "I have to go back up stairs." Jane paused in Maura's door and turned back around. "Oh and Maura?" Hazel eyes met hers. "We're going to need at least two more hats."

* * *

A/N – on the song that inspired this, each chapter contains elements of it worked in.

In other news, obviously this will be M rated. Hopefully you all won't hate me too much for that ;)


	4. Chapter 4

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

Again – thank snowinmysoul if you are enjoying the frequent updates. Betas… wonderful things.

* * *

Jane barely snatched her hand out of the way of her mother's wooden spoon.

"Jane Rizzoli those meatballs are still raw in there. Do you want to catch salmonella?" Angela turned to Maura. "Tell her that she is going to get sick from eating raw meat."

Maura looked up from the dough she was placing under ceramic bowls to rest. "Actually she won't get sick from eating raw beef. If the beef was exposed to bacteria such as _Escherichia coli_, _Campylobacter jejuni_, _Listeria monocytogenes_, or _Staphylococcus aureus_ then she would become sick by the bacteria tainting the raw meat."

"See Ma? I'm not going to get sick from tasting the sauce." Jane went to dip back into the sauce with a teaspoon.

Maura shook her head slightly. "I didn't say that. Raw meat provides an excellent transference medium if it was exposed to any bacteria during the processing. Ground beef is of extra concern because during grinding any exposed surface is now combined throughout the end product. Right now that meat is partially cooked and the temperature would be favorable for encouraging bacterial growth. If the beef was contaminated it you would be ingesting it at an optimal time to promote infection."

Jane dropped her teaspoon to the counter with a clatter. "Great, now I have no appetite, thanks."

Maura shrugged and put the last ball of dough away.

Looking out the window Jane watched the waning light of late afternoon. "I hate that it gets dark so early this time of year. If the guys don't hurry up we'll be trying to rig this entire mess up by streetlight. She turned to Maura. "Are you absolutely positive you don't want to put candles in the window and a nice wreath with a spotlight on it? Minimalist is all the hipster rage."

Maura leveled her best stare at Jane. "That is hardly keeping with the festive atmosphere of the rest of the neighborhood."

"Not true. Candles are very festive and as an added bonus I don't have to climb several stories up that rickety old ladder of Pop's and..." Jane paused when bell rang at the back door. Pulling it open she was surprised to see Tommy standing there, a grocery bag in hand. "Tommy, I didn't know you were coming over here to help."

Tommy handed over the bag. "Here, Ma wanted ground Romano from Capone's. She said you needed help with putting up some lights? I got to go help Ricky unload the van, there's a shit ton of stuff packed in there. He's lending us his ladders from the painting company and he has a date to get to so we need to hustle."

"What else are you unloading?" When Tommy didn't answer, Jane peered around the door watching him pulling cardboard boxes out of the back of the van. Her eyebrows shot up when she noticed a familiar box from an old stereo she had received as a Christmas gift one year hit the asphalt. She spun around and handed the cheese to her mother and grabbed Maura's elbow almost in one motion. "You come with me."

Pulling Maura into the laundry room Jane shut the door behind them. "Maura, why is my brother unloading all the Christmas decorations from my childhood on your driveway? We already bought pretty little white lights that match the rest of the neighborhood."

Maura bit her lip. "Your mother was so excited when she heard I was going to decorate the outside this year. She insisted."

Rubbing her hand over her face Jane sighed. "You have no idea what you agreed to. Those boxes are filled with a collection of all sorts of brightly colored bulbs in all different sizes. Hell, there are probably some old ceramics from my grandparents in there. Nothing is going to match. Different types, different sizes and different colors." Jane watched Maura try to cover up a wince. "Nothing in those boxes is going to be pretty, white or delicate."

"She was so excited." Maura took a step forward and buried her forehead against Jane's shoulder. "I didn't have the heart to say no."

Jane rubbed Maura's upper arms and kissed her temple. "I'll go out and tell her I bought new lights today."

Maura took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No, it's okay."

They heard Frankie and Frost's muffled greetings through the door. Jane wrapped her arms around Maura and gave a gentle squeeze. "The guys are here, last chance to speak up." She felt Maura shake her head. "Okay then. Don't say later on that I didn't warn you."

* * *

Maura dipped the cup rim in flour before cutting another round of dough off and passing it to Angela. "Now I'm getting worried, it's dark out there. How are they going to put up lights safely?"

"They'll be fine, your floodlights are on and if they're out there too long we'll go get them for dinner and convince them to finish another night." Angela filled the dough round and pressed a fork along the edges. "Are you finished with your Christmas shopping?"

"Almost. I still need to pick out something for Jane. I have some little things, but not a real gift. I think it will be one of those, see it and know it's the right thing. I just don't know where to start looking." Maura selected another ball of dough and ran her hands over the smooth surface, testing it, before rubbing flour along her rolling pin. "I think everyone else is covered. I had to resort to using the internet to find ideas and I'm still not confident they'll like what I bought."

"My daughter is impossible to buy for so don't let that worry you. As for the rest of them, I swear, half the time I never see any of them use a single gift I buy. They think I don't notice but I do. Everyone but the baby is hard to find the right thing for. He was easy. Tommy and I finished shopping for him today." Angela counted the ravioli and checked her bowl of filling. "I think rolling that one will do it and the rest of the dough we can run through the pasta maker and let it dry out." She watched Maura finish rolling out the dough and moved over to help cut out circles. "I would never have imagined I'd have a grandchild this time last year to shop for. He is a bright spot for certain."

Maura pushed down the slight wistful feeling and gave Angela a small smile. "There were a lot of changes this year." She was grateful for the excuse to move away when they were finished and she gathered up the last of the dough to load the hopper of her pasta extruder. Maura turned on the machine and they were silent, the whirring of the machine filling the space as it churned out linguini.

As Maura draped the finished strands over her drying rack, she felt Angela's hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry honey, sometimes I forget how hard all that was. It's easy to be caught up in being the grandmother."

"No, don't apologize, I'm fine. It usually doesn't bother me. Not like it used to. After all, it brought Jane and me together. I think it is the holidays." Suddenly she turned around and faced Angela, twisting her hands together. Maura felt herself doing it and immediately placed hands palm down on the counter. "Angela? May I ask you a question?" Something in her tone must have registered because Angela gave her a concerned nod. Maura rushed the words out, her voice becoming strained. "Please be honest, why do you think Jane won't move in with me?"

The incredulous look on Angela's face was answer enough. "You already talked about it and she said no?" At Maura's nod Angela shook her head. "Did she give you a reason?"

"She didn't say no precisely. She evaded the discussion and eventually said we should wait until our relationship was more established considering you were already living here." Maura sighed. "However, I don't follow her logic pattern." Maura glanced at Angela staring out the window over the sink as they both watched Jane combing over the boxes on the patio. "Wouldn't it make more sense for you to live here if she was too?"

Seeing Jane waving at the boxes of lights, Angela let out a long sigh. "I might have an idea of what is going on and you can blame me. I'll talk to her."

* * *

Tommy came off the ladder and blew on his hands before pulling his gloves back out of his pocket and pulling them back on. "I think that will do it for the hooks along the roof." He hit the aluminum ladder. "I owe Ricky. Can you imagine pulling this shit off with a regular ladder like Pop used to do? We'd be holding the bottom and balancing half of it on a wood block on this street."

Jane clambered down off the second ladder nodding. "Pop would have cracked his skull open." She shoved on her gloves. "The view up there isn't half bad. I wonder if Maura would ever consider a roof deck."

Frost snorted. "A roof deck in this neighborhood? Weren't you the one who was just swearing at the box of colored lights and muttering about Maura getting a call from the neighborhood association?"

"Fair point and you know she will. She won't tell us about it, but she will. I don't think there is one strand of matching lights in that box." She called up the driveway to Frankie. "Yo Frankie, do all those strands work?"

"Some odd bulbs out but yeah, we're good, Pop has a box of replacements. I don't think we'll need all the lights though. There is no way we used to put all these up." Frankie jogged down the driveway towards them with a box. "Of all the things Ma kept from the house, old Christmas lights take the cake. I mean seriously why?"

"Why anything with Ma?" Dropping the box at his feet, Frankie raised both his eyebrows at his sister. "You know what? We don't have is enough outdoor extension cords to get these lit tonight. This old house of Maura's doesn't have many outlets outside and what ones do exist are out back on the patio."

All four of them stood there staring up at the house.

Finally Tommy gave them a shrug and walked over to a ladder. "Well the lights aren't getting up there by themselves. Plug them in some other night, but we're here now. Somebody go grab me a string. Let's use the two tall ladders to leapfrog the roofline. It will go faster and I'm freezing my balls off."

Jane grabbed the other ladder with Frankie and fussed with the legs until it was secure on the slope of the sidewalk. When Frost made back with a box they worked in teams, feeding lines of bulbs up. After they'd rigged about half the house up with lights, Tommy turned to her, tugging at his end of the line in her hands until she turned to face him.

"Memories right Jane? Though I think Pop used to wait until there was snow on the ground and it was the coldest day of December to put up the lights."

"Naw, coldest day was reserved for finding a Christmas tree. That way when we started fighting he could put his earmuffs on and pretend he didn't know us." Jane looked at her brother and he was chuckling. When he looked back at her he was serious again.

"Lydia's dating." Tommy finished hooking his line of lights through and called down to Frankie. "Ready for another strand up here."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean she's been on a date here or there but nothing that lasted beyond a night." He paused when Frankie was climbing up to take the next strand from him. Tommy connected the ends of the light strings and started winding the lights around the hooks. "But then she met this mechanic over at Jerry's Garage and they've been out a few times now." He handed the line to his sister before she could say anything and scrambled down the ladder to move it.

Jane looped the lights over a hook and reached over to the next to repeat it, pulling tightly so everything could withstand a Boston winter. Light, hook, pull, repeat until she was almost finished and Tommy had reappeared on her other side. She looked at her little brother, not certain what to say. "Well you knew eventually she'd date again right? You two aren't together."

"I didn't think it would be so soon. Don't you think it's a little quick?"

"TJ is over a year old Tom. She has her new place and it sounds like she likes her job at City Hall. She's settled and it sounds like she is ready to start living her life a little. Why does this bug you anyhow? I thought you weren't interested in Lydia like that. How many fights have you and Ma had over it?"

"I know, I know. "

"Is it the guy? Are you worried about TJ? Do you want us to try to look into him?"

"No, Mike is okay and all. You might have your ways to check into people but I have mine. He's not going hurt TJ or anything. He actually is pretty cool with him." Tommy sighed. "I didn't think it would bother me that she might have someone new in her life."

"Well if it bugs you this much you should at least talk to her about it. Don't be an ass about it, but nothing is going to change one way or the other if you don't talk about it. Just figure out what it is that is bothering you first. That way you'll know what kind of conversation you need to have with her." Jane called down for the next strand. After a few minutes she called down again and noticed Frost was on his phone and Frankie wasn't in sight. "Great, stuck up a ladder while he has a nice little chat."

"You're right. I'll talk to her."

"After you figure out what you want."

"After I figure out what I want." Tommy sighed. "How did you figure out Maura was what you wanted?"

"Because I couldn't help but be with her." Jane sighed. "Because when everything happened with TJ all I wanted to do was pull her away from everything, hold her tight and never let go. I needed to be with her, protect her." Embarrassed, Jane looked down the ladder again. "I still need to be with her. No matter how much time we spend together, even when I'm mad at her, I need to be with her. End of the day she's last thing I want to see going to sleep."

Tommy had a slightly confused expression. "So can I ask how come you guys aren't married or at least living together? It sounds to me like you have that whole 'what you want' thing figured out."

They were interrupted by Frost handing her a line of lights. "Jane last one for you. That was dispatch. I'm going inside to get Maura."

Working quickly, thinking about what she wanted to say as she went along, Jane finished the last hook and connected the lines, leaning over carefully to hand it to Tommy. "You're right little brother. I know what I want but after that I'm in the same spot as you. I have to have that same conversation and it isn't easy. I know Maura loves me but it's complicated, she's complicated." Ready to leave the situation Jane started down the ladder.

Tommy stopped his sister's descent by calling her name. "Hey, I'll make you a deal. If you have your chat, I'll have mine."

Jane snorted. "We'll see."

"Chicken shit." He smiled at her. "Tell you what. I'll finish what I can tonight on the lights okay?"

"You don't have to. We'll get to it later."

Tommy shrugged a bit and strung up another few inches of bulbs. "Let me do something for you okay? Not often that I can. Lights or otherwise."

She looked at him strangely. She wanted to ask him to clarify, but Frost called up again and Jane headed down without another word.


	5. Chapter 5

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

* * *

Jane took one look at Maura crouched next to the body with a sigh. "And Merry Christmas to me."

Maura was still trying to finish her in situ view of the body but the low branches of the Christmas tree obscured the victim's lower legs. She stood up for a moment and indicated to her scene techs to take additional photographs. Turning to Jane she pointed to the tree. "It would be unlikely that the assault happened here."

Jane nodded, the Christmas tree branches were undisturbed, laden with tinsel and ornaments. "Strangled again?"

"By strangled if you mean were there ligature marks that would indicate that at some point our victim had physical injury to epidermis of her neck, then yes."

They shared a look and Jane snorted with a half laugh. "If you are still looking for a Christmas gift for me, I think a book of coupons that I could trade in for crime scene conversations that start with me saying, 'look she was strangled' and you replying with 'yes she was', would be the perfect present."

Maura bit her bottom lip, moved closer and whispered under her breath. "Jane, does Santa Claus exist?"

Amused, Jane leaned in to catch her words. "What? No. Of course not."

Raising her eyebrows Maura dropped the stage whisper. "Same could be said for your chances of getting any sort of coupon book like that."

"Then you need to stop telling me I never tell you what I want for gifts."

Rapidly shaking her head Maura held up a hand. "That is not fair. You are impossible to buy for."

Jane cheerfully shrugged her shoulders. "Then don't get me anything. I keep telling you I have everything that I want."

Maura crossed her arms across her chest. "As romantic as that is, I said the same thing and I don't believe you are listening to me."

Frost cleared his throat and waited until they both looked at him, slightly sheepish. "Both of you may want to come into the living room for a moment."

They followed him over to the living room and stood back, waiting for a crime scene tech to finish bagging swabs.

Frost pointed to the mantle of the fireplace. "Possible blood, she may have been assaulted in here. I'm thinking they get into an altercation, she falls back, hits the edge and perhaps that triggers him."

Jane ran her thumbs lightly along her palms, manipulating the scar tissue back and forth, thinking. As the techs walked out of the room with their evidence the space quieted. With a quick look at Maura and Frost, she put all her focus on the scene and she knew they were doing the same.

If the assault had happened here, the perp had gone through the effort to move the body. The last victim had offered little forensic evidence which indicated they were up against someone with working knowledge of how rape scenes were processed yet here he was, willing to move the body. Jane felt Frost touch her shoulder and she sighed. "He was willing to move the body."

"I know. This isn't good. Maura's back with the body." Frost walked over to the fireplace and stared at the dark speck on the corner of the white mantle. "It would have been easy to miss this. Maura's guys are good."

Jane nodded. "The first scene was so clean. This guy knows what he is doing but the compulsion to move the body by the Christmas tree was strong enough that he'd risk leaving additional evidence."

Both of them turned around at the sound of Maura's footsteps. "Did either of you step on the hearth yet?"

Jane pursed her lips. "Do we look like rookies? We stayed outside the markers." She stepped out of the way when two techs came back in. Within minutes, lights were turned off and luminol briefly glowed hauntingly blue around the window next to the fireplace as cameras clicked rapidly.

Maura sighed. "Not unexpected. The head wound was obscured by her hair, but the depth of the wound and the lack of blood by the tree indicated we missed the area she was assaulted. The body was moved post mortem."

When the lights came on Jane considered the distance between the fireplace and where the blood had been concentrated. "So where he leaves the body is important." She rubbed her scars. "He took the time to clean up the blood. He knew he wouldn't be disturbed."

Frost crouched down by the window. "I think they must have been standing over here for some reason and when he goes to attack her she fights back. Maybe he wasn't expecting a fight and hit her head on the mantle to subdue her. That is the only way I can figure the blood would have been over here instead of all over the hearth."

Jane nodded. "That works and makes me think he isn't as experienced as I feared, at least with homicide. I bet the amount of blood caught him off guard. He was so careful to clean the area over here but he missed the underside of the mantel. This indicates he was disorganized at that point. Reacting." She turned to Maura. "Did you already move the body out from the tree?" At Maura's nod Jane walked back into the family room.

Immediately Jane noticed the ripped skirt against bare skin. She turned when she felt Maura at her back. "Her underwear is missing. Was it under the tree?"

Maura shook her head. "No and after a search it would appear it is not present at the scene."

"So he was worried we'd find something. Good. If he was worried that means we're going to find something." Confident now, Jane took a last impression of the scene. "Frost and I have to interview the victim's sister. She's already down at the station. They were supposed to bake Christmas cookies tonight. Husband is out of town on a ski trip with his buddies." She gripped Maura's forearm lightly. "I don't know how long this is going to take tonight. I'll probably crash at my place. I'm out of clothes at your house."

"Why can't you go simply go and pack a bag?"

"Because I have no idea when we'll be done tonight and there is no point to both of us having our sleep completely disturbed." Jane saw the flash of hurt and scrambled to explain. "Please, don't be upset. We both know if we plan for me to come back to your place you'll work half the night on the body and then wait up for me. You're worse than Ma with making sure I eat and then you'll be exhausted tomorrow."

Maura closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them. "Jane, I believe that you think that is the reason you're staying at your place but I do not think that it is. I know you too well."

"Well then what is the reason?"

Maura sighed. "I don't know but I do know when this case is over we are going to figure it out together." She wanted to say something more but they were surrounded by their coworkers. She settled for pulling her arm away before walking off without another word.

* * *

The woman seated across from them was shaking her head. Jane and Frost took turns asking questions. Taking their time, not pushing, Korsak had arrived a half hour ago and delivered the shocked woman a cup of coffee.

Jane let out a deep breath and glanced over her notes. No her sister wasn't having an affair. No her sister and her husband were not having problems. No she wasn't having work done on her home. The sisters were having their annual bake-a-thon. The husband had finally been contacted and was rushing home from Vermont.

Eventually Korsak offered to drive the woman home. She was single and her parents had passed away a few years ago. Jane felt a small lump of sympathy in her throat thinking about the holiday season the poor woman was facing as she watched her walk out.

Clearing her throat she watched Frost packing up his desk. "Can I catch a ride with you back to my apartment?"

"You need me to wait around and drop you off at Maura's?" Frost slipped his suit coat back on.

"No, it's after 10 already. She isn't expecting me tonight." Jane avoided eye contact, knowing what she'd see. Maura had an ally in Frost. "Just don't start okay? It seemed logical that I stay at my place tonight, but I don't think it went over well. She hasn't called or texted since I told her at the scene so I'm guessing she'd rather not see me right now anyhow."

"You are an idiot. I don't know how she manages to not run screaming into the night on a regular basis. How is it that yesterday you were upset over the fact that you don't think she'd say yes to marrying you and today you're being a complete ass?" Frost started to follow her out of the bullpen. "And don't answer that. You don't make sense to me and I at least know you want wedding bells and happily ever after. Maura doesn't even know that. Do you understand how confusing that must be for her?"

They pulled their coats tighter as they exited the building, the cold air snapping around them.

The minute the doors were unlocked Jane jumped into the passenger side of the car and shut the door. Frost was pulling out of the parking lot before she broke the silence. "Marriage and living together are different things. Living together is fine but marriage means something. Marriage means that when shit goes down you have to work together to get through it. It means you're both serious about figuring out life together. The good and the bad."

"God, Jane, do you remember last year? That woman already had your mother living with her. She was ready to adopt the baby your father's ex-girlfriend and brother's, well whatever Lydia was to Tommy, left on her doorstep." Frost turned to look at her while sitting at a red traffic light. "As a reminder, she was willing to do this, without hesitation, the day she was almost murdered by Rockmond. I was there remember?" The light turned green and he faced forward, shaking his head. "She was willing to do all of this for you. For you. And you're claiming that you don't believe she'll say yes to a marriage proposal because of some conversation you two had at some point in your friendship?"

"You weren't there. She was serious." Jane stared out the window, arms crossed over her chest.

Frost hit his fist on the steering wheel. "So what? She probably was serious at that point in time, with the options in front of her. That was then, this is now. You should spend some time tonight, all alone in your apartment figuring out what the real issue is." He finally pulled up in front of Jane's brownstone. "It's not that crap about Maura saying no. I don't buy it. So think long and hard before you create more problems than you're going to be able to fix."

His dark eyes were dead serious and his face offered no opportunity for argument. Jane took a few rapid breaths and stepped out of the car. "I'll think about it okay? Really, I mean it. Thanks for the ride."

Frost simply nodded.

* * *

Maura's phone buzzed on the nightstand and for a moment she debated not answering. With a sigh she, put down the article she was reading and accepted the call, skipping a greeting. "How did the interview go with the sister?"

Jane cradled her phone against her ear, trying to picture where Maura was in her house. The clock read a few minutes before 11pm. "About what we expected. Nothing that we can see for the moment. Are you going to autopsy tomorrow?"

"First thing in the morning."

Jane looked around her bedroom, putting the phone on speaker while she changed. "What are you doing right now?"

Maura felt her hurt and confusion from earlier start to bleed away at the longing tone in Jane's voice. She took a deep breath and let it out on a long sigh, now feeling irritated at herself for not being able to ignore Jane's melancholy. There was no reason for this. "If you were here you'd know."

"That is true." Jane had a good idea though, could picture Maura with a book or periodical on her lap, sitting up in bed, absorbed in whatever had caught her attention. They spent enough nights together that she realized part of her restless feeling was Maura's routines were becoming part of her own. It was why she needed to call. Maura's voice was something she was used to hearing just before she fell asleep and her apartment's familiar noises were grating on her nerves.

The feeling of restlessness intensified as Jane continued picturing Maura along with the hurt edge to her voice. Frost was right. She was an idiot. Jane decided to change the topic as she walked out of her bedroom and into the living room. "Did Tommy finish the lights?"

Maura knew Jane was avoiding the issue, but tonight she wasn't willing to offer that grace. "Yes, but I haven't seen them yet. They needed an extension cord to bring the power to the front of the house. Frankie was still here with your mother when I came home." Maura sighed. "He apologized when he left. Twice. So I'm not turning those lights on until you are here to live through it with me. Your mother left a plate for you. I put it away in the fridge."

Jane chewed her lip, turning off the lights in the kitchen and living room. "That would have been a lot better than the stale granola bar I found in my desk drawer." She heard Maura mutter something non committal at the other end of the line.

Maura tapped her fingers on the periodical on her lap. "She wanted you to know that she's doing Christmas cards tomorrow night and you are expected to help address envelopes if you still refuse to send out your own."

Jane dropped her hand from her apartment security chain and tested to make sure the door was locked. "And now my holiday traditions are complete. God I hate that job."

"I'm going to handle my handle my holiday correspondence with her. I think it will be nice to have someone to share that with."

"You are so weird. For the cards or for looking forward to filling them out with my mother I'm not certain." Jane sighed. "But you can let her know I'll be there. I always am. What I can't figure out is how Frankie never has to do stuff like this." She looked out the window, snow was starting to fall. "It's snowing."

Maura shifted so she could look out her bedroom window, fat flakes drifty lazily down, caught in the glow from the streetlights. "It is, it's pretty. We're supposed to get a few inches by tomorrow night." It was the type of night when she should be able to pull Jane close and hold her as the flakes fell down. Maura sighed softly. "Jane, I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep now. I'll see you in the morning."

When she ended the call Maura watched the snow for a few more minutes until her vision blurred and she swallowed against the emotion. It was shocking at times how easily Jane fit into her life and how after a year of being together that her presence was so entwined with Maura's life that her absence on a night like this, purely by choice and not circumstance, hurt.

It was a change in herself that she was not certain she wanted to analyze. Maura dragged her eyes off the snow drifting past her window, sparking bright white, before disappearing into the night. She picked up her journal and went back to reading.

Maura was half way through her article when she realized Jo was whining downstairs. Listening she heard her back door open and close after a long pause. She sat up a little, watching her bedroom door.

When it opened Maura wasn't surprised to see Jane standing there, hands lightly clasping the wood frame, expressions floating over her features while the toes of one foot rubbed back and forth against the opposite ankle.

Jane wasn't sure what she should say. She had been locking up her apartment, already on her way over when Maura had ended the call abruptly. She stood there waiting, not certain of her welcome. They made eye contact and she felt her heart start to pound.

Maura breathed in and out while she studied Jane. She could see the snow hanging in brunette curls melting in the soft light of her bedroom. Whatever was going on was not simple and was not going to be worked through tonight. She shook her head slightly before calmly pulling down the duvet beside her.

Jane climbed into bed watching Maura whose attention was back on her reading. After a moment she saw hazel eyes glance her way and when Maura lifted her periodical up Jane felt relief wash over her as she curled up against her. She settled her head against Maura's abdomen, her arm around her waist, sighing softly when fingers started to rake though her curls. After a few moments her eyes became weighted. Jane heard the slide of paper over her head as Maura turned the page. Sleep tugged at her voice. "I want to send Christmas cards with you."

"Okay, I'll be glad for the help tomorrow, the envelopes are always the most tedious part."

Jane fought sleep as the warmth of Maura mixed with the rhythmic breathing against her cheek. "No, I want to send cards out this year from me and you. From us."

Maura smiled quietly, fingers stilling for a moment. "I think that sounds like a lovely idea."

Jane wanted to respond, but Maura's fingers were running through her hair again. Her awareness became hazy, words wouldn't form. She nodded against the soft surface, breathing in deeply as she gave into sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

* * *

Jane was whistling under her breath, tray in hand balancing several coffees when she opened the door into the bullpen.

Two sets of baleful eyes looked at her in recrimination.

She cheerfully set a coffee cup next to Korsak's keyboard and dropped another one off with Frost before shrugging out of her coat and sitting down. She flipped on her desktop.

Frost broke the silence first. "I put lights up on your house Jane."

Sipping her coffee she smiled at him. "Correction, you put lights up on Maura's house."

"For you. I did it for you. Because we're partners and we help each other out like that."

Turning around she could see Korsak nodding slowly in agreement. "And I thought after all these years we were friends. Apparently I was wrong."

"I have no idea what you two are bitching about."

Maura's voice sharing good mornings through the bullpen couldn't have been timed better. Jane watched her practically skip over to Korsak. "Angela just told me the fabulous news. I knew there was no way Jane could be correct about only uniforms participating." She offered him a fuzzy hat before stepping over to Frost and handing him his own with a large smile. "And I knew you would want to participate as soon as you heard Jane and Frankie were part of the choir. I wasn't even surprised when Angela told me." She turned to Jane with a huge grin, eyes bright and happy. "Isn't this the most delightful Christmas?"

Jane held out a coffee. "I think it is just fantastic now." She winked at the pained smiles both men offered Maura and gave her a smile that made her cheeks hurt. "Absolutely fantastic. I can't wait for choir practice. Who needs happy hour at the Dirty Robber when we can be practicing songs dedicated to red nosed deer and possessed snowmen? "

Maura narrowed her eyes at her and Jane could see her evaluating her body language. With a last smile at Frost she changed the subject quickly. "So are you autopsying the latest vic this morning?"

Maura nodded. "I thought you should know that this victim's wedding set was intact on her finger."

Jane blew out a breath. "Husband is at the scene reviewing everything right now, so we don't know if anything else is missing yet."

Korsak shook his head. "There isn't going to be anything obvious missing. Can't say I get why the first vic's engagement ring is gone but these rapes are violent, the manner of death hands-on and he's staging the bodies. Maybe the first ring was a trophy and this next one will have some other trophy taken, but this isn't about robbery."

Glancing at the clock on the wall Maura held up her coffee in farewell. "I need to go back downstairs. I don't want to back up the morgue. Susie and Dr. Silva should be in by now. I'm going to start processing the body."

Jane watched her leave before turning back to her computer. Feeling eyes on her she looked up. "What?"

Frost held up his fist with the fuzzy Santa hat and shook it at her.

Jane held both hands up. "I had nothing to do with that you two. All I did this morning was invite my mother to participate. It's such a wholesome activity to partake in as a family so if my mother was going to sing with Maura and me, wouldn't it make perfect sense for her to see if Frankie would participate?"

Jane sipped at her coffee not bothering to hide her smile. "I can't help it if you can't say no to my mother Korsak." She raised an eyebrow at him. "How did she get you?"

Korsak stared at the red hat on his desk, muttering almost to himself. "I should have known something was up when she didn't say anything about my breakfast order and even put bacon on my egg sandwich." He sighed. "I've been married enough times to know when I'm going to get hit up by a woman."

Leaning back in her chair laughing, Jane looked across her desk to Frost. "Though I have to admit I hadn't figured out how to force you into it yet. You're an added bonus this morning. I thought maybe Korsak would coerce your participation. How in the heck did you get involved already?"

"Your brother." Frost tossed the hat down and picked up the coffee. "I was buying breakfast while your mother was forcing that extra hat you gave her on Frankie. He pointed me out to your mother and said that you were leaving me out."

He held an accusatory finger at Korsak. "That brainless idiot had already nodded yes like a fool to your mother's batting eyelashes so to save some face he backed Frankie up. I was still going to try to say no, but Maura walked in and she was so excited." Frost dropped his face into his hands. "So there I was with your mother waiting for my answer, your brother pleased with himself, Korsak's determination to drag me down with him and a happy and enthusiastic Maura." He groaned. "Next thing I know my mother's voice was in my head reminding me that it's the holidays and to be a gentleman." Pained, Frost looked at Jane. "I could feel myself nodding and saying yes. I couldn't stop myself."

"Welcome to my world." Jane looked at both men. "I bought you each a gourmet coffee as a consolation prize. That has to count for something."

Korsak looked at Frost before they both turned to look at her. Korsak folded his arms over his chest. "The coffee is simply the IOU for the drinks you will be buying all night after choir practice."

Jane opened her mouth to reply before closing it when both men glared at her. "Well if that is going happen then we need to find a killer." She thought about her words, thinking. "Or maybe we don't and then we'll have an excuse not to be in the choir."

Frost rolled his eyes. "All three of us are sitting with fuzzy Santa hats on our desk about to sing with every desperate rookie on the force. Do you honestly think that would work?"

* * *

Maura glanced up from the final touches on her stitch work on closing the y-incision when the glass doors parted a split second before Jane burst into the space. She shook her head slightly. One day Jane was going to move faster than the doors could open and that was going to be painful.

"You texted?"

Carefully knotting the end, Maura nodded. "I did. I have presents."

"Presents?" Jane leaned over the body. "I'm all excited. I figured after last night I was on the naughty list."

Cutting the catgut away from the needle, Maura rolled her eyes. "That is a good point. Go back up stairs and send Barry down."

"Frost is currently babysitting about 20 different searches in the various databases for any rapists or unsolveds with a similar MO." Jane reached over a snapped on a pair of latex gloves and pulled on a paper gown. Together they wheeled the body over and moved her into storage. "And by babysitting I mean ranting on the inefficient way the legal system houses information in different locations with apparently different structures, coding and build so he can't easily search and combine any of them." Jane closed the door. "I don't know what he is complaining about though, Korsak and I were handling boxes of old files from the basement all morning. No comfy office chairs and natural light for us."

Maura shrugged. "Vince will do then. I shouldn't reward bad behavior and since I'm out of coal, I think you should have to wait to find out."

"Please?" Jane batted her eyes. "I'll go to yoga tomorrow morning."

Narrowing her gaze, Maura held a hand up. "That is a preplanned event. It doesn't count."

"I'll go with a smile even though the instructor likes to check out your ass."

It was Jane's unique brand of sarcasm and passive possessiveness that caused her to laugh and Maura gave up the pretense. "I'm holding you to that." She put her used instrument cart in line with the others waiting to go to the autoclave. "So would you like the gift of good news or bad news?"

Jane walked over until she was close enough to feel the edges of Maura's paper gown brush her. She tilted her head, taking her time, deliberately letting her eyes fondle dips and curves. "Neither." She captured Maura's eyes with her own. "I want all the presents."

For a moment Maura let her professionalism slip, let her eyes wander until she could see brown eyes darken. Her voice was an intimate murmur. "You have to earn back all the presents." With a wink she moved away, back to the job at hand, stripping out of her paper gown and gloves, while Jane did the same. "But as far as our victim goes, you were correct in your assumption at the scene that he would make a mistake. The good news is we found a small amount of semen near her ankle. There was spermicide residue so this was likely transference. I actually thought it was saliva under the lights at first. It was a trace amount so Susie decided to send it out to a specialty lab rather than attempt to amplify the DNA here. The bad news is you'll have to be patient to see if it works."

"Well if I have to be patient I may as well eat. Go change and I'll buy you lunch."

Maura let out a soft sigh. "I can't. Dr. Silva called out. His youngest had to stay home from school with bronchitis and his wife is on a business trip. I have to process another case today if I want to attempt to avoid a backup. Go out with the guys, sneak a burger and tell me you ate salad."

"I don't do that."

"Yes you do." Maura smiled at her. "Or rather I know you get the burger but start with a side salad."

"But I do order the darn thing and eat it, so I'm being honest." Jane reached out and squeezed Maura's hand briefly. "Don't stay too late tonight. They upgraded that dusting of snow to 4-6 inches, more if the storm track turns. I'll be in the field canvassing with Frost after lunch so I won't be here to drag you out of your windowless cave of an office."

"I'll pay attention and I'm supposed to go home with your mother so she won't let me stay." Maura took a quick breath in and out, hesitating. "We're still filling out Christmas cards tonight, right?"

Seeing Maura hesitate to ask if she was coming over made Jane's stomach clench and she quickly nodded. "From both of us right?"

Maura was surprised Jane had remembered the words she'd muttered from the fringe of sleep. "Yes."

"And I thought I wasn't getting all the presents." Jane flushed red at her own words and rushed out of the morgue with a little wave over her shoulder.

* * *

Jane met back up with Frost at the corner of Main and Lawrence. Frost was stamping his feet lightly under the streetlight, huddled in his coat as the snow whipped around him, settling briefly on his hat before blowing off again. She had her own coat zipped all the way up and she ducked her face down into the collar as far as it would go. "Oh my god, nobody is allowed to kill anybody else until it warms back up. Shit I'm cold."

Frost continued his restless shifting. "I stopped feeling my feet and nose an hour ago."

The wind gusted and both of them moved under a storefront awning and huddled against the display window.

Jane sighed. "I hit up every door but half of them didn't have anybody at home. Nobody saw anything unusual and most of them didn't even recognize the victim's photo. That is what neighborhoods have come to these days. It's sad." She bounced lightly in place. "Please tell me you found somebody that knew something."

He shook his head. "Nothing. I call it good, it's late enough that we'll just start spooking people. I vote that if we want to hit up the houses where nobody was home that we give your brother and a few of his closest friends the Christmas gift that keeps giving, experience."

Nodding her agreement Jane glanced into the display window she was leaning against and she stopped fidgeting as she quietly contemplated the contents.

Frost rapped a knuckle against the glass and she flicked her eyes over to him. "Any particular sparkly thing catch your eye?"

"Doesn't matter, they're closed anyhow." She went to turn away when Frost grabbed her elbow.

"Lights are still on inside." He dragged her over to the front door and knocked hard against the glass.

Jane wrenched her arm free. "Don't be an asshole and don't make me regret confiding in you."

Frost just rolled his eyes and flashed his shield at the annoyed looking sales clerk who appeared. The door was unlocked in a hurry and Frost pulled the door all the way open as he gestured for Jane to go ahead. Encased in the warmth of the jewelry store he ignored the glare as he addressed the clerk. "I'm sorry to disturb you but we're trying to find out if you may know this woman?" Frost watched the clerk examine the photo. The older woman nodded her head. "Oh yes, that is Mrs. Lowe. She and her husband were regular customers. She had me create a custom ring for him for Christmas, she was so excited."

He shared a surprised look with Jane. "Oh?"

"Did something happen to her?" Two bright curious eyes were staring between Jane and Frost.

Jane waited until Frost had discreetly pulled out his notebook and pen. People always asked this question when they already knew by the situation something must have happened. What they were asking was for details. "Yes, I'm sorry, we're here as part of the team investigating her death. Could you tell us about your last conversation with her?" Jane could see the shock and watched the smile fall from her face.

The woman nodded slowly. "We discussed the ring and the holiday. I had a baby necklace out at my work station and when she saw it she commented that they were thinking about starting a family this year." Now the woman's voice caught and the volume lowered as she absorbed the fact that the person she was talking with a few days ago was murdered. "Her poor husband, he is such a sweetheart." There was a wistful smile. "She sent him off on a ski trip so she and her sister could bake without him eating half of their efforts." Suddenly she reached out and grabbed Jane's arm. "He wouldn't have done it. I can't see him killing her."

Jane knew Frost was making a note that it wasn't a secret that their victim would be alone for much of weekend. She patted the hand on her arm, making sure her voice was soothing, willing to say almost anything to keep the woman calm and talking."He isn't a lead suspect. He was away. Did she say anything else? Was she expecting anybody other than her sister to cook with?"

The clerk shook her head. "No, she was in a rush to get home because her Christmas tree was being delivered."

Jane and Frost shared a quick glance before he frowned at his paper. "This was yesterday?"

"No, she was in Friday morning." Now the woman had her arms wrapped protectively across her chest as she stared out the storefront window. Jane understood the feeling.

Frost closed his notebook and slipped it back into his pocket. "Thank you for your help. I have to say, we were admiring the window display. I didn't realize you created the pieces yourself. The work is beautiful. I think Jane saw something in particular she liked, right Jane?"

For a moment Jane was ready to wipe the smile off Frost's face by whatever means necessary but then the clerk gave them a large smile and her arms slowly dropped. "Thank you. It's my passion." She looked at Jane hopefully. "I would love to show you something if you wish."

Caught off guard by rapid switch of fear to enthusiasm in the clerk Jane didn't have the heart to say no. "There was one ring, in the front, in a crystal bowl."

Excited, the woman moved to the display and unlocked the back. "I know the exact one you are talking about. It's part of my Infinite collection." She fished around and pulled out piece, moving over to a counter. She placed the ring on a black velvet pad and brought it over to Jane.

Gingerly Jane picked it up. The lights caught in the diamond facets. It wasn't large but it glittered in the beveled setting. At her side, the woman was animatedly chattering about clarity and what the design meant, but all Jane saw was something she instinctively knew Maura would wear.

Frost was peering over her shoulder, nodding his approval. "That's the Doc right there. Nice."

Jane glanced at the price with a small wince. She'd heard enough of the guys at the station bitching about spending three months of salary on an engagement ring. She was ready for that, but this? Five months of salary on one little, sparkly ring. The words came out of her mouth without her conscious permission. "I love it. I'll take it."

The woman beamed. "I'm assuming you'll need it by Christmas. Do you know which size?"

Clearing her throat she refused to look at Frost. "Her ring finger is the same size as my pinky." Feeling Frost's amusement she turned to him with a small growl. "So what if I know her ring size? I like to know things. Don't look so pleased with yourself." Wisely he started studying one of the glass cases while the clerk measured her finger and jotted down a note. Jane handed over her credit card and the woman walked off. "This doesn't mean I'm proposing for Christmas."

"I never said that it did."

* * *

A/N – writer looks around the internet, wondering if anybody is reading….. Scary people are quiet… :) More clues to the song in here… more clues on the case (which will be about the level we get on the show –at least in my head -)

I'm off to go send the next chapter out to beta, eat some stale gingerbread house, spike some eggnog and find the motivation to write more.


	7. Chapter 7

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

* * *

Angela moved to stand in front of Maura's kitchen window. "Why is it that my daughter can be concerned for everyone else's safety during a snowstorm but then takes 10 years off my life by staying out in it?"

"To be fair the storm was supposed to be a minor weather event and it certainly was never supposed to be as strong as it has turned out to be." Maura looked at the snow twisting in the wind outside her window from her seat at her kitchen island. "She did tell me she was going to be late. I'll worry in a bit if we don't hear from her but for now I believe she is okay."

Rubbing her arms, Angela gave an exaggerated sigh. "Do you think they've shut down flights in and out of Logan?"

The question caught Maura off guard, out of place in their conversation. "I'd imagine there are delays at the very least." She glanced at her watch. "It's after 6, why don't we turn on the evening news and get a weather update." Angela was walking into the living room before Maura could move and the image over her mantel disappeared as the framed flat screen powered up.

Both of them watched the overly enthusiastic weather man from Channel 5 running their storm center update. The track of the storm had turned inward from off the coast of Maine, slowing down over the warmer waters of the coast line, causing it to hit a low pushing down from Canada. Animated maps spun on the screen, colors flashed with accumulation predictions. The weather man pointed excitedly to the north of Boston with its red zone of 24 inches but Boston fell under the yellow highlighted area for 10 to 18. The image flipped over to scenes from inside Logan. They were down to one runway. Flights were canceled or severely delayed coming in and going out.

Agitated, Angela moved over to her living room window. "Of all the times to get a storm, why now?"

Maura didn't believe Angela expected an answer and it was confusing the amount of anxiety she was displaying over a typical New England storm with typical travel delays for no apparent reason. They weren't expecting anybody for the holiday that would come by plane. It was time to settle Angela's nerves. Standing up she filled the kettle and set it on the stove, the clicking of the burner igniting snapped Angela's attention back to her.

"Good idea honey, I'm going to need that. If you'll give me a minute I have to check on something back in the guest house." Angela gave her a strained smile before pulling her coat on and stepping out into swirling gusts of snow.

* * *

By the time she dropped Frost back at the station Jane winced at the time. It was almost 8:30. Between the escalating storm and the nature of city traffic it was likely going to be past 9 by the time she made it to Maura's. If she could make it to Maura's. She imagined trying to push her boat of an unmarked up Maura's narrow neighborhood streets. Narrow, steep, streets that may or may not be plowed. No freaking way was she going to get a car safely all the way up. Now after last night was she not going to show up. With that thought fresh on her mind, Jane pulled into the back lot and parked her car next to where Frost was wrist deep in snow trying to uncover his.

Opening the window she waited until he was looking at her. "Ever hear of something called a snow scraper?"

"Cute Jane." He held up a credit card. "Do you think I'd be using this if I had one? I could have sworn I left mine in my trunk."

Jane smirked. "Did you leave your keys on your desk?"

"Yeah."

"Then trust me, your overly organized self did have a scraper in the trunk." Jane smiled when she saw Frost's eyes widen as he put everything together.

"Korsak is a dead man."

Jane grinned at the pure malice in Frost's voice. "I'm sure he is. Block his YouTube access, he'll cry for a week. I have an offer for you in the meantime. Leave your unmarked here and take mine. Just drop me off at the bottom of Chestnut."

Shaking off his hand and credit card Frost struggled through the snow piled up around his car. "You have a deal."

* * *

Maura sorted through her desk drawer, pulling out her book of contacts and her roll of address labels. With a small smile she put the label roll back. There was only her name on those.

With a sigh she walked over to the back door and pulled the curtain aside. Angela still hadn't reappeared. She opened up the door and stuck her head out into the wind, the sharp touch of snow stinging her cheeks as she looked at the smooth undisturbed accumulation on her driveway. Out on the street a cab slowly struggled uphill, slipping sideways as the wheels lost traction. Shutting the door she rubbed the chill off her arms.

The kettle whistle called and Maura pulled it off the flame. She turned to look out the kitchen window, the snow inspiring her tea choice and in moments the smell of mint permeated the room. Taking her mug of tea with her, she dropped it off on the island before gathering all her Christmas card supplies together and sitting down to spread it all in front of her. The house felt insulated and quiet wrapped in the storm, the only noise the stained glass window rattling during a particularly strong gust of wind.

For a moment in her quiet world all Maura could think about was how many other times she had prepared her holiday correspondence exactly like this. She was sitting alone at her kitchen island with a cup of tea and a book of contacts. It had never struck her as particularly lonely before and maybe it had not been at the time but it certainly felt as if it was. It was easy during a moment like this to imagine what her life would have been had she not met Jane Rizzoli. It would not have been a bad life, but it certainly would not have been as rich of a life. As vibrant a life.

Idly she thumbed through her contact book. Names, addresses and notes were written proof that she had an entire network of people around her. Some could be considered friends, others colleagues, a few more family and most were scattered about the globe. Several names brought a smile to her face but most felt two dimensional when compared with Jane or rather her life with Jane.

Unless she honestly didn't know Jane at all, Maura was secure in the fact that Jane Rizzoli loved her. It was in the way Jane watched her, touched her and fit with her. Seamless and easy even when life was hard, even when they argued, or perhaps especially when they argued that dynamic was readily apparent.

Which was why she could not understand why Jane was so resistant to moving in together.

Even last night she could see that Jane had ended up in her bed because she needed to be there. Jane had not been standing in her doorway because she was worried that Maura wasn't going to forgive her. Maura may have ended their call abruptly but they'd been there before and more often than not her irritation gave Jane something solid to push against. But last night the woman in her doorway was too lost to push against anything and it wasn't a ruse. Jane may be an excellent detective, with an ability pull a poker face in any number of situations, but she never could with Maura and she knew it. Maura knew all her tells intimately. So when she had looked up to see a lost Jane standing in her doorway she hadn't any other choice but to invite her back in. The immediate way Jane had fallen asleep also said a lot.

Maura took a long sip of her tea, the mint bright against her senses. They needed to talk, she knew that. Perhaps the best gift she could give Jane would be a vacation together. She needed to pull both of them out of their environment and out of reach from the rest of the world. A few days of uninterrupted time that could give her a chance to understand what was holding Jane back. It wasn't love and if last night was anything to go on, it wasn't a need for space. Both of them were well versed in how short life could be, how tenuous it was. Maura wasn't a fool. She knew that very element had brought them together so she could not imagine the problem was Jane not being ready to share a home together.

No matter which way she looked at the situation some part of the logic pattern was disturbed. But whatever it was that had a hold on Jane had, by transference, a hold on her and it was simply unacceptable.

She was about to take a sip of tea when knocking echoed from the front hallway.

* * *

Jane watched the cab slide down the hill sideways, almost dumping itself onto Beacon Street. Had it been a typical city night it would have been hit by oncoming traffic, more specifically Frost and herself. "Don't even try to get up the hills. Just drop me at the bottom of Chestnut Street." Frost didn't even bother to argue and she watched him pull away to slide in the wake of a city plow.

The uphill street loomed eerily empty, the snow was sharp on her cheeks and the wind gusted between crammed row houses, pushing against her as Jane started to trudge upwards. She passed by Christmas lights caught in the storm, ticking hollowly as they bounced against the brick brownstones, the glow from each house guiding her way. With nothing better to do but think and observe Jane noticed a few key things she hadn't realized about Maura's neighborhood. Her assumption that every house would have delicate white lights was incorrect. A glance up a side street as she passed revealed random homes cheerfully glowing in multi colored celebration. They stood out against their majority of simple white lights, but under the swirls of snow they somehow fit seamlessly. Instead of standing out for their difference, the colors captured the eye with unapologetic charm. Suddenly she regretted the fact she had avoided buying the extension cords for Maura's home and vowed to fix that oversight tomorrow. Jane made a mental promise to stop worrying about embarrassing Maura and give it a chance. Perhaps the colors and the unmatched strands would be different than the surrounding houses but it didn't mean that it wouldn't fit in, that it wouldn't be beautiful.

The accumulated snow made the uphill trek a slow struggle and Jane's thighs and hair bore the brunt of the weather. The case was confusing. There was a message there for them to find. They had a killer who would risk everything to send a message by moving a body. He was deliberate in where they found the victim. He strangled them which to Jane translated that he wanted to feel the life leave them slowly. On one victim there had been a faint diamond shape impression on the neck. What did that mean? What did he use? Why leave them under the Christmas tree both times?

Korsak had pinned up the information on the murder board. It was frustrating to look at the photos of the victims, to see the parallels and the differences. To know while she was looking at everything, that the answer was there if she could figure out how to put all the parts together. A mistake with location of physical murder along with semen on one victim, a ring stolen on from the other victim and both husbands were out of town. Thinking about the victims she swallowed a swelling of guilt. There were two families that had actual worries this Christmas rather than caring about mismatched lights and singing holiday carols.

She had what those poor husbands had lost. A year ago if Rockmond had succeeded, her Christmas could have been just like the victim's families, a missing face at Christmas dinner forever. Instead, Jane had what she had wanted so desperately a few months ago. Maura was home for Christmas. She was going to be with her at the table on Christmas day. Maura had picked staying with her over vacationing with her parents because she knew it was important to her. Jane buried her chin deeper into the collar of her coat, promising herself to lighten up and enjoy the holiday and if that meant traipsing through every tree lot in Massachusetts until Maura was happy so be it.

Finally she turned up Maura's street, noting the skid marks on the road and was glad she chose to walk, numb nose and all. In the streetlight the crusted snow on her coat glittered. The light bounced and sparkled like a thousand tiny diamonds and Jane paused, staring at it.

Holy shit she had bought an engagement ring tonight.

There was a brief thrill of excitement and cold clench of nerves. In a moment of clarity she understood two things. First, without a doubt Maura would say yes, but secondly, she cared more about Jane's feelings than her own. The yes would come regardless of any pressure she might feel. That was Maura. Maura took care of her, put her first. Nodding to herself she pushed forward. No way, no how was she going to ask at Christmas. She was going to buy that weekend away in Vermont and they would connect outside of the crazy world they called life. She was going to ask questions and wait for answers. Take a moment to listen and this time she would put Maura first. That way when she heard yes it was going to be yes. Hell, maybe away from all the insanity they'd been under for the past year, she'd even be able to articulate why moving in was so hard for her.

Maybe.

Up ahead, Jane was surprised to see lights turn on over Maura's front door. The streetlight and falling snow obscured her view but someone was standing on Maura's step. She jogged a few steps to clear her line of sight, struggling through the snow, finally able to see just as the warm glow from inside highlighted Maura from behind, surprise on her face as the figure swooped down, a hand on her shoulder and her hip.

Shocked, Jane froze in place, immobile long enough to see Maura's palm become flush against Ian Faulkner's chest as she stepped back, turning her head slightly so his lips brushed her cheek.

* * *

A/N – writer has donned football helmet and passes baseball bats off to readers. **Is slightly afraid since she now realizes by reviews that she has a H*LL of a lot more people reading than she realized.** Insert 'oh sh*t' moments as this chapter gets posted. Promises that if she is left alive, if a little battered, that the next chapter is already with our story's beta and YOU WILL NOT BE LEFT HANGING. She also realizes she should be sharing her spiked eggnog. (trembling hand holds out rather boozed nog)

And remember - Christmas = Happy = LOW ANGST. (please drink until you forget Ian)


	8. Chapter 8

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

FYI I owe snowinmysoul for being able to give this all to you as quickly as possible. Despite a busy schedule she managed to get this thing back to save me from baseball bats (hopefully) :).

* * *

Maura's world had morphed from quiet introspection to an epoch of chaos in a matter of minutes.

She barely had time to step back from Ian when her front door flew open again and Jane was standing there framed by the storm at her back. Wild brunette curls and clothing bearing testament to the tempest raging outside. She felt her heart rate increase as she stared between Jane's expression and Ian's confusion. Maura didn't have time to utter a word when a voice called her name from the kitchen and with a twist of her head she watched Angela appear through the back door. Her eyes darted around the disorder, not certain who or what to settle on first.

Jane shut the storm out and the noise faded slightly as all four of them stood there staring at each other.

Angela seemed to recover first, making her way through the living room. "I'm sorry I took so long Maura, I had a few last minute Christmas things to attend to. She stood shoulder to shoulder with Maura. "Dr. Faulkner, I didn't know we were expecting you for the holidays."

Maura winced slightly, the words were directed at Ian but the undertone of reproach was there. She wondered if she was the only one to hear Jane's muttered "We never do."

Ian offered his hand to Angela. "Mrs. Rizzoli, nice to see you again. Please it's Ian."

Blinking Maura watched Angela and Ian exchanging pleasantries. Shaking her head slightly, trying to reconcile herself with reality, she stepped away, moving to Jane. She looked her over carefully before cupping the side of her face with her palm. "Where did you come from? Your skin is almost frozen to the touch." She brought her other hand up to along the opposite side of Jane's face and brushed her thumbs along cold skin, feeling the noisy exhale Jane let loose at her touch.

"I didn't want to fight the hill with my car so I had Frost drop me off at the end of Chestnut." Maura's touch felt heavenly against the chill of her face and Jane could almost forget that Ian was standing feet away. She missed the warm contact the second Maura dropped her hands to brush along her shoulders and down her arms.

Angela cleared her throat, clearly not for the first time and it made both women step away from each other. "Ian was just telling me he was flying home for the holidays when the flight he was on was rerouted through Boston because of the storm's impact in Maine."

At Maura's curious look Ian spoke up. "My mum's been feeling poorly and I thought it best to take a short leave for the holiday. The storm meant they couldn't land us in Maine for my connection so Logan was the closest international airport. They've booked me through on a connecting flight to LA but it doesn't leave until late tomorrow evening." He offered Maura a small smile. "I was actually happy that it happened. I thought I would perhaps have a chance to catch up with you before the holiday."

Jane ran her hand through her wet hair, fingers catching in curls that were still bound together in places by ice. A quick glance at her mother she could see the compassion there and it gave her strength. "That is a shame about the flight situation but how lucky for you that they were able to rebook you so fast. Right Maura?"

Maura nodded, it seemed like the safest response. He had no way of knowing her circumstances had changed. She could feel the cold touch of Jane's hand at her back. Part of her wanted to reach back and kiss Jane just to clarify the situation for her. She knew Jane. Knew that she was sensitive right now and Maura imagined she'd feel the same way if the tables were turned. But her upbringing demanded a certain level of decorum and she chose her words carefully. "I am sorry to hear your mother isn't well." She stepped back to lean against Jane and when the hand on her back moved to her hip, she knew it wasn't entirely appropriate but she pulled Jane's hand against her abdomen. Some things were simply more important. "It's good to see you. Let me go help Jane change out of these clothes and I'll get the guest room ready for you." Maura could see her careful phrasing hit home with him. She turned to Angela. "Would you mind setting the kettle on for tea?"

Maura lead the way to her bedroom, fetching Jane's sweats and one of her own thermal shirts from her drawers. She turned to Jane and tugged at her snow crusted coat. "What are you still doing wearing this up here?"

"I'm too cold to take it off." Jane let Maura slip the coat off and disappear into the bathroom with it, appearing a moment later clutching a towel. "I didn't want it to drip over the rug. That Persian carpet under your feet is an antique." Maura gave Jane a ghost of a wink as she offered her the towel. "Do you want to take a quick shower to warm up?" When Jane nodded Maura stepped back. "I'll go then and help your mother entertain."

Maura was about to go down the stairs when she turned back and walked back into her bedroom and opened the door to the bathroom.

Jane was pulling off her shirt when she felt familiar hands at her waist give a playful squeeze. Startled she jumped at Maura's touch and spun around. There was a flash of hazel intensity before she fell against lips that searched for hers with a promise.

Pulling back Maura breathed a moment in tandem with Jane, stroking the skin under her fingertips. "See you downstairs."

* * *

Maura wasn't certain what scene she would be walking into but it certainly wasn't the sight of Ian filling out the addresses on Angela's envelopes while Angela puttered around pulling containers out of her freezer. Apparently late as it was they were having something to eat. "Jane is taking a shower to warm up." When Angela simply pointed her to an empty chair she sat down and pulled her cards towards her. "I can't believe I left these so long this year, they're all going to arrive late."

Angela set a pot of water to boil on the stove. "It's my fault and we both know it." She walked over to the sink to run the container of sauce under hot water. "I kept promising Maura we'd sit down and do these but something was always getting in the way. One of these days I'll just settle on sending New Years greetings."

Ian looked at Maura, staring while she fidgeted with arranging cards and envelopes, eyes trained downward. Mindful of the banging pots and pans he patiently waited until she glanced up before looking away again. "I'm sorry, I don't usually call." He glanced purposefully at Angela. "I hear that perhaps your circumstances have changed." He pulled a blank envelope off the stack and started writing another name and address. "I can try to find a hotel."

Finally she shook her head, again mindful of the words she picked. "No, please don't do that, we have plenty of space here. You didn't know. Both guest rooms are free, however perhaps you wouldn't mind staying with Angela in the guest house? That room I know is ready." Maura glanced over her shoulder watching Angela freeing the frozen sauce into a pot. She looked at Ian. "I'm sorry, in hindsight with our history I should have called." She picked up a holiday card. "To be honest it comes down to unfortunate timing. Jane and I are sending Christmas cards out together this year so you would have known shortly."

Ian was about to simply nod his agreement but he hesitated when she looked at him and his chest tightened, he couldn't be losing her. Suddenly desperate he looked at her hands, noting that the fingers were clear. There was a brief flash of hope. "You are exclusive?"

Maura watched him studying her hands. "Yes." It was one word but it was clear, definitive.

He nodded once. "Then this is different this time. Serious?"

Maura folded her arms across her chest and rubbed her upper arms. She knew the real question he was asking. "Yes. Very much so." Her mouth went dry and Maura swallowed. They'd always had their arrangement. Other relationships were understood and part of the package. Neither of them was willing to change their careers and personal objectives. Both of them knew if the other one found something permanent, something serious, that it was the end for them. It made this moment hard to get through, she had Jane but all he had was then end of an affair that lasted over a decade. He loved her, she loved him. She just wasn't in love with him, a cliché perhaps, but the truth. "My relationship with Jane is more than serious." As the words slipped past her lips, part of her was sad, part of her felt guilty for hunting him and a large part of her felt lighter, as if she was finally confirming something about her and Jane out loud. Her relationship with Jane was serious.

As bizarre as this situation was, Maura realized she didn't have a second of regret. She felt terrible that he found out like this but that wasn't anybody's fault. She would find a moment for them to talk before he left, but now was not the time. "I'm going to make some tea, would you like some?" When he nodded Maura stood up and went to grab the kettle off the stove, giving Angela a strained smile when the older Rizzoli squeezed her shoulder briefly. Looking at Angela she could see support and understanding mixed with a hint of approval twinkling in her eyes.

Angela checked the sauce, lowered the heat and added ravioli to the boiling water. From the depths of Maura's refrigerator she pulled out the makings for a simple salad. She wished that Jane could have heard that exchange. Maybe then her oldest would smarten up and see what everyone else, apparently including Maura, knew. Angela cut up cucumber and ripped up lettuce, determined now to get Jane alone for a little heart to heart. When she looked up from sliding everything into a bowl the child in question was walking across the living room, dark eyes intent on Ian as she walked by. Angela had to bite her lip to keep from smiling at the expression on Jane's face. Perhaps a little reminder of the fact there was competition out there was the perfect Christmas gift from above.

Maura wasn't surprised when Jane joined her by the stove, hip to hip. "Are you feeling any better?"

Eyes trained on Ian, Jane glanced at Maura briefly. "I feel warmer."

"Do you want some tea?" Maura ignored the look leveled at her. "Go get the cocoa then. A warm drink will help." For a moment she thought Jane was going to argue and she couldn't figure out why. Finally Jane walked away and stood on tiptoe until she could reach the tin container. When she returned Jane again aligned herself against her side and didn't move. The position they were in made it difficult to prepare the drinks, if she wasn't careful she would end up elbowing Jane in the side as she worked.

Carrying her cocoa Jane waited for Maura to sit back down before she pulled out a chair next to her. Maura handed her the blank envelopes and her address book.

Angela watched them all sitting there in silence and took charge of the situation. "Jane you should consider yourself lucky this year. I drafted Ian to help me address my cards so you're off the hook. You only have to work on the ones you're sending out with Maura." She fished a ravioli out of the water and cut it with fork, looking at the silent trio sitting at the kitchen island. She was going to have to give them something to do. "Dinner is ready. I'm going to leave everything here by the stove and you kids can help yourselves but we're going to work while we eat."

By the time they'd plated food and sat back down the tension had eased slightly. They worked in relative quiet as they ate.

"Anybody want seconds?" When Ian passed over his plate Angela beamed at him. "I like a man that knows how to eat. So Ian, it seems like a lot of flying to get where you were going, your mother will be so happy to spend some time with her son I'm sure."

He looked up sharply and he could see Maura's eyebrow raised. He should have realized she'd have figured it out already. A quick glance at Jane showed she hadn't picked up on the conversation or was refusing to pick up on the conversation. Good. "Flight was cheaper to run through the States. It takes me a bit longer but I'll get home all the same. I've missed Mum." Maura shook her head slightly and went back to eating and he let out a sigh of relief. It was better considering her connection to Jane that she didn't know anything detailed. He relaxed a little more when Angela seemed to take him at his word.

"That's nice. A mother should be with her children during the holidays." Angela reached to the middle of the island to pull the stamps to her, affixing them on her finished cards. "Jane honey, I don't suppose you could pick up an extension cord tomorrow? I want to see the house lit up."

Jane looked up from her cards she was signing as Maura finished and pushed them to her. "I promise tomorrow. I was going to do it tonight but we took longer talking to the neighbors on our latest canvas than I figured we would." She shifted, trying to get comfortable on the kitchen chair before standing up to tuck a leg under her and leaned on her right elbow feeling Maura's arm move as she filled out addresses from Jane's list.

As her arm brushed over and over against Jane's arm Maura shifted off to the side to give her more space. Within moments the touch was back. She glanced up from her writing but Jane seemed oblivious. She changed positions entirely, reaching over to pull the last of the cards to her. This time Jane started to fidget beside her until she stood up and sat back down on one of her legs. Now her foot rested against Maura's thigh before she settled. Irritated Maura was about to stand up and move, the passive possessiveness grating when she realized that Jane's foot couldn't be seen. Irritation bled into curiosity. Maura crossed her legs, removing contact again and within moments Jane started to shift and fidget. She uncrossed her legs and leaned towards Jane, bringing her thigh back in contact with her foot and their arms brushing. Jane let out a sigh against her and relaxed. It wasn't possessiveness. It was an entirely unconscious effort on Jane's part to connect while she was stressed. Maura felt her heart squeeze. This was how she knew there was no other answer she could have given Ian. This was them. This was serious.

When Maura's hand rubbed her thigh for a moment, Jane glanced over and became instantly concerned at the watery mist in the eyes staring at her. "Are you okay?" She was more surprised when Maura hastily stood up and kissed her cheek. "I'm perfect but I'm tired. I finished my cards so I'm going to go take a shower before bed. It's late." That wasn't like Maura to disappear, especially with a guest in the house.

Confused Jane nodded. "I'll be up in a minute. Just let me help Ma clean up." She watched Maura give her mother and Ian a small wave on her way out.

Jane was clearing plates off the island when her mother put a hand on her arm. "Honey, are you done with your cards?" She nodded and her mother squeezed her arm. "I'll take care of this." She was about to bolt upstairs when her manners got the better of her and she turned to Ian. "Can I get you anything?"

Chuckling wanly Ian waved her off. "Nothing that you're willing to give up, I'm fine thank you. I'll just head over with Angela and watch some stale holiday program you Americans seem so devoted to at Christmas."

* * *

The shower was running when Jane went into the bathroom. She sat on the foot of the bed and slumped, elbows on thighs thinking about the entire night. She bought an engagement ring. Ian had reappeared. Jane rolled her eyes to the ceiling and shook her head. Fate, God, whatever may exist continued their fucked up sense of humor because as hard as facing Ian had been for her, she knew part of Maura had to be hurting. She sat up and rubbed her hands along her thighs, pulling herself together and walked into the bathroom.

"Maura, are you okay?"

Maura finished rinsing the shampoo out of her hair hastily and tried to clear the emotion out of her voice. "Jane you didn't have to follow me. I'm okay."

Shaking her head slightly, Jane jumped up to sit on the vanity counter. "I know you are physically fine. That isn't what I'm asking."

Working the conditioner though the ends of her hair, Maura looked through the glass of the shower door seeing Jane's distorted form sitting on the counter, waiting. "I'm being honest, I'm not deflecting. I am okay. I feel horrible for hurting him, the situation is sad but it was always likely to come down to this. We both knew it. I believe we had been the way we were for so long that it was easy to forget that the choice to be together was one we both couldn't commit to." Maura started rinsing out the conditioner.

Slowly swinging her legs Jane debated if she wanted to know the answer to her next question but curiosity was getting the better of her. "Why would he have arranged his flight to come through the US if he was going home?"

Maura paused, her hand on the shower handle, leaving the running water between them for a moment while she answered this particular question. "I believe he intended to spend a few days with me, arrange some supplies before heading home." She didn't mention it wasn't the first time they'd celebrated the holiday season together before parting to go their separate ways for their families. That he knew her well enough to know how long she'd be at home before leaving to join her parents.

"So he wasn't routed through Maine?" Jane plucked at the material of her pants. In a way she could feel for him.

"Unlikely." Maura finally shut the water off and debated for a moment if she should continue but Jane was here waiting. "It could have been me instead of him facing the end of what we had alone. He walked in and was blindsided. That is what I feel badly about." She opened the shower door, smile growing when Jane was standing there with her towel held open. "Just look at this moment, I'm not alone, I have you." Maura leaned into Jane, not caring she was going to get Jane wet as she kissed the side of her neck. Arms circled around her and held her close. "I always thought I'd be the one alone. I was ready for that end. This ending was one I hadn't imagined and I wouldn't change it." Maura leaned back against the arms holding her and looked into Jane's eyes. "I want you."

The statement was simple but the look in Maura's eyes was not. Jane could see sincerity. She could see love and as Maura's breathing increased and eyes became lidded, desire.

Maura slipped her hands under Jane's shirt, caressing. "I want you." She ran her arms upwards taking Jane's shirt up with her. She ran her hands down Jane's back and unfastened her bra, murmuring against her neck. "You." She paused then and looked up, eyes stroking the dark ones waiting.

Jane sighed into the reassuring fit of Maura's lips against her own. They met, touching softly, until she leaned down and fingers traveled along her spine, pressing her closer as the kiss reached in for more. She helped the insistent hands at her pants, pulling away to step free.

Maura stepped back as Jane's hands roamed over her body and she let her pull at the edge of the towel until it dropped between them. Fingers mapped her body, stroked over her hips before sliding under the curve of her backside and nestling the heat of them together.

Skin met skin and Jane paused, Maura's temple resting in the curve of her cheek. Hands roamed restlessly over the bare skin of her backs as Maura's whispered words ripped down her spine. "I need you." She could only nod.

Taking a step back Maura moved her hands over waiting breasts, brushed nails over peaked flesh. Jane's eyes closed, her lip caught in her teeth when Maura slid hardened nipples between her fingers. "I'll be in bed in a minute."

Jane barely had time to climb onto the bed before Maura was standing in the bathroom doorway, hair slicked back, waiting. She stood there deliberately and let her look, encouraged it as she leaned against the wood frame. Jane felt her stomach clench hard at the possessive glow in the eyes roaming over her. In an instant she knew this was going to be Maura's show. Eyes drifting down she caught sight of Maura's clenched hand and when she looked up two eyebrows raised before Maura sauntered, unhurried towards the bed.

Jane's breathing was heavy, the movement in her chest becoming exaggerated as Maura paused, one knee on the mattress. "May I?" She unfurled her hand and she could see Jane draw in a hard breath in anticipation. The nod was slight but it made Maura smile as she carefully slinked her way up the mattress until they sat facing each other. She swept her hand along Jane's collarbones, over her shoulder and skipped the tips of her fingers down Jane's arm. Nipples tightened under her gaze and dark eyes were hooded. She brought her other hand up and let the smooth plastic surface press between Jane's breasts and pushed her down. Maura let their eyes connect as she slowly slid her leg over a toned abdomen and straddled shifting hips. Curling over Jane she cupped the side of her face letting her lips dance along the surface of a mouth that reached for hers. Breath intermingled. Noses brushed. Maura drew small circles with the bullet vibrator along Jane's abdomen and she traced the peak of Jane lip with the tip of her tongue and pulled back, waiting.

Jane answered, tangling her fingers into damp hair as she pulled Maura down and welcomed her in. She turned herself over to the press of Maura's body on hers, the restless shifting of skin along skin each time their mouths connected. She felt Maura's hand roll against her stomach and a gentle vibration started between their pressed abdomens. She broke the kiss, her body anticipating, knowing. Fingers danced along her temple until her eyes opened and she groaned. Maura was hovering over her, eyes bright and unwavering until she drowned in hazel. Jane gasped as lips closed around her ear, traveled down her neck, teeth pressing against the tendon until she couldn't stop the groan from breaking free.

Smiling against the noise reverberating against her lips, Maura drew the vibrator up, played it against straining nipples, letting sounds encourage her mouth down. The raw resonance grew between them and she became lost in the taste of Jane, lost in the texture of pebbled skin as she worshiped one nipple and then the other. When the body under her began to roll relentlessly with a silent request, when hands on her back were begging and pressing, Maura moved downward, each line of muscle, each curve savored against the flat of her tongue. Jane's thigh was smooth against her cheek, the muscle straining at each touch of her lips as she moved closer. For a moment Maura paused, savoring, until hips arched up and her name fell on a whisper from needy lips.

Jane felt each teasing, vibrating, touch of smooth plastic rolling down her skin, pressing until it was circling against her clit. Her voice surrounded them, words and sounds clashing until the buzzing rolled from her clit, to press teasingly in her and everything went still. Unable to catch her breath she pried her eyes open, Maura was waiting for her, looking at her. "I want you." The words hung between them as she felt her body part wetly as the vibration slipped inside. Her body hummed as lips closed around her clit and she was lost.

Maura felt the power of each swipe of her tongue. Muscles under her hands shook. Tension built in rocking hips and flexing thighs. Hands tangled and twisted rapidly in her hair, pulling her tighter and she pressed harder, pushing until Jane drew in a huge, gasping breath and pulsed sharply against her. Maura drew her in, held her in, feeling her climb higher until Jane surged forward, over and over, before crashing down, quaking and shuddering, against her. She left her lips touching until the quivering subsided and the gasps faded from the room.

When Jane felt the bullet ease out she wet her lips and opened her eyes. Reaching down she stroked Maura's shoulder, encouraging her upwards until she could close her arms tightly around her, shifting until they melded together. She turned her face and kissed Maura's forehead, freeing a hand to stroke Maura's cheek, guiding her up for a languid kiss. When Maura broke away with a soft sigh and settled back against her, Jane turned to look at the window. White flakes drifted steadily down but the frantic rush of had lessened. "The storm is winding down."

Maura shifted so she could watch the falling flakes. "It's pretty."

"It is." Jane pressed a thumb teasingly against Maura's hip, drawing a line down. "My turn."

Squirming slightly as her body responded, Maura stroked along Jane's arm until she captured the wandering hand and moved it up to her lower back. She craned her neck to look at Jane. "It is, but could we stay here like this?" She rubbed her cheek against the softness of Jane's breast. "I want to feel you hold me while we watch the snow fall."

Jane's arms tightened around her as she nodded and Maura settled back down, content, watching the swirling flakes dance by the window.

* * *

A/N – Writer hopes she has managed to START to wiggle her way out of the doghouse, because she loves her readers and OMG all the teasing right back. You kept me laughing all day. Even with the Christmas crowds and hearing the song this story was inspired by – TWICE – I kept laughing. I owe you guys.

I swear I will never escape that song this season. Never.

Holiday baking tonight, Christmas cookies for everyone!


	9. Chapter 9

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

Quick note – If you didn't check here yesterday there was a Ch 8 posted… read that first or this will make ZERO sense.

* * *

Maura's cell phone ringing woke them both. Jane felt her shift out of her embrace to answer it, her voice low in the dark. Jane frowned and buried her head into the pillow, dragging out the inevitable. When Maura simply slid out of bed Jane cracked an eye open, blinking at the brief flash of light from the bathroom. Curious she rolled over and waited. The shower was on and off quickly. Now Jane sat up. If Maura showered that quickly, this was a work call and Maura was Chief. She voluntarily worked all Jane's cases but it was unusual for her to be called out for anything else but a serious case.

Maura opened the bathroom door, surprised to see the bedside lamp on and a sleepy Jane looking at her. "Go back to sleep. It's work but it's not your case."

"What's going on?" Jane rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes and pushed up into a sitting position.

"Dr. Silva's out remember? I'm covering for him and there was a call." Maura turned off the lamp on her way to the closet. "So go back to bed."

"No, I'm going to get up. I'll drive you." Jane stretched before flicking the light back. "The roads are going to be awful."

Annoyed Maura went to her closet door and peered around the edge to level a glare at Jane. "You'll do no such thing. I appreciate the sentiment but I drove myself for years before I knew you and while I doubt the driveway is clear yet, the main street by the house looks passable. Detective Brown is lead on this and he sent me a text offering me a ride. Now go back to bed, if I keep talking to you I'll keep him waiting."

Jane waited until she was back in the closet with the door closed before she got to her feet and padded over to the window. Maura was right, the street looked as clear as it could with the last lazy snowflakes drifting down to cover it. The asphalt was definitely salted. She was impressed, obviously Maura's zip-code had pull with DPW. In her neighborhood it would take until the next day to look that clear. She could hear the click of hangers in the closet. Rubbing the back of her neck she decided if she was up she may as well be useful.

Making her way downstairs she paused at the low sound of the TV. Apparently Ian had decided to watch his Christmas specials in the main house. For a delicious second she hoped he had heard everything that happened last night before she pushed the thought aside.

Ian turned around from filling the tea kettle and saw Jane standing at the entry. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. My internal clock is disjointed with the time zone changes. Your mother's kitchen was right under the bedrooms, I was worried I'd wake her up."

Running her hands through her hair, wishing she had elastic to band the messy curls back, Jane shook her head. "It wasn't you. Maura was on call and there's a case."

He nodded while he turned the burner under the kettle on. "That happened the last time I was in town."

Jane took a deep breath and tried to count backwards in her head. "Yeah, I think I remember."

He chuckled. "She was frantic because she didn't want to be later than you to the scene. I have never seen someone get dressed so fast and she left before I could tell her that her shoes didn't match."

The counting didn't work and frankly she couldn't help but think he knew exactly what he was doing. Jane glared at him. "Yeah, I think I remember." She filled the coffee bean grinder and hit the switch so the noise would make any additional conversation impossible. What exactly was it she had learned in sensitivity training? She refused to look up from the machine as it worked. Just as the last of the beans went through she remembered what the course had said about handling a difficult situation. Jane muttered "Don't engage," and filled the portafilter with the ground coffee.

He may have heard her. Jane wasn't sure but Ian was suddenly occupied with searching through Maura's tea selection. She tried not to let it bother her that he seemed well versed in where Maura kept everything. Carefully she pressed the grinds down, hearing Maura's voice in her head telling her to be careful not to bruise the beans or some such nonsense. Coffee was straining into the cup, so she went to the refrigerator and pulled out the vanilla soy milk. She poured it into the steamer and shook her head. That shit wouldn't foam like milk but whatever made Maura happy. Pouring everything into a travel mug she noticed Ian was prepping a cup of tea along with another travel cup.

Jane cleared her throat until he looked up. She pointed to the travel mug. "I have her covered."

Ian stared at Jane and ran his hand through his hair roughly. He understood the message but he had been up half the night dealing with the message already. "I made her tea."

Crossing her arms across her chest Jane took a deep breath. "Well she drinks coffee these days."

Whatever Ian was going to say was cut off by Maura appearing with an overly enthusiastic "Good morning."

Jane winced and darted a look at Ian. He seemed to share her sentiment of 'Oh shit.' Both of them seemed to be able to read Maura's body language and the message was clear. She had heard them both.

Maura ignored them and moved to her living room window, relieved to see headlights and an idling car. She took a moment and carefully considered the situation. She turned around and both of them were looking at her sheepishly from the island. As ridiculous as this posturing was, it was also delicate. It was in the brittle nature of the situation that Maura finally realized what the perfect Christmas gift for Jane was. Calm now, she knew what to do.

Finally Maura walked over to Ian. "Thank you for thinking of me. I know you leave later today, but please meet for lunch if you are able, I should be done with the scene by then." She went over to Jane and gave her a look of reproach and the other woman stared off to the side. With a soft sigh Maura cupped Jane's cheek and turned her head. She brushed their lips together and lingered. "I'll see you at the office." Picking up the coffee Maura waited until Jane focused on her. She rubbed Jane's arm and raised an eyebrow in warning before she walked over to the closet, pulled on a coat and left.

Ian picked up his tea. "I'm going to relax back in bed for a few hours."

He didn't wait for a reply before he left and Jane didn't offer one.

* * *

Jane was watching the end of It's A Wonderful Life when the kitchen door opening made her look up. She twisted to look over the couch and gave a slight wave to her mother. "Ma what are you doing up this early? I thought you had the lunch shift today."

"I do. I switched so I'll already be at the station for choir practice." Angela set a pot of coffee on to brew. "I didn't want to disturb Ian but I wanted to check the travel advisory. What are you doing up?"

"Thinking." Jane sighed and when the warm aroma of coffee wafted over she looked back to her mother. "What, no tea this morning? It seems like everyone in this house likes tea." The beep of the coffee machine was the only answer she received.

Angela put a cup of coffee down in front of Jane and sat down on the other end of the couch with her own steaming cup. "I think Maura made it very clear last night that her metaphorical tea drinking days had come to a close." She raised her cup at her daughter's surprised look. "Don't give me that look missy. I know you think I don't notice half of what I do. I remember Dr. Faulkner's last visit quite well and your constant references to tea during that entire time were hard to miss." Taking a long, slow sip, Angela put her cup down before half turning to face Jane. "At the risk of having you claim I am meddling in your life, I would like to remind you that there are a few things you could do to make your place more secure with Maura."

Jane sat up a bit and wrapped her hands around the coffee mug. Her voice was tired and low. "I know."

Shaking her head Angela moved closer. "Well that answers that question. I didn't think I'd raised an idiot but apparently I have raised a fool."

"Ma, come on. Please." Jane sipped the beverage and refused to look at her mother.

Angela grabbed the foot closest to her and squeezed it. "You come on. What is your problem? Because I'm your mother and I can't believe you turned Maura down when she asked you to move in." When Jane didn't answer her Angela decided to go with her instincts. "You remember that you promised to get the extension cord last night, right? I want to see the house lit up." She waited until Jane nodded. "Did I ever tell you why I kept those old lights?"

Jane tried to adjust to the change in topic. "No, and I wondered. Some of them are just shy of a fire hazard. Of all the things to pay to keep in storage why a bunch of old lights?"

"Do you know how many Christmases those lights have seen me through?" Angela didn't wait for an answer. "More than I want to admit. Over the years if one strand became worn we'd replace it and it wasn't unlike the height chart for you kids on the back of the pantry door. Except these I could take with me." Angela gave a half laugh. "I look at those lights on Maura's house and remember you three standing around your father, holding onto the bottom of the ladder. I remember the fights over who got to climb partway up and hand him a new strand. I remember the excitement you had that first year he let you start to string the bushes in the front by yourself. Do you remember the year all three of you wanted a Transformer for Christmas? God help me they were the hot toy and all three of you had them on the top of your list. I was on a wait list with Toys R Us and the night I got the call they were getting a shipment in I waited in a crowd for them to open to those of us on that list at midnight. Originally they were limiting them to two per customer but I think I was crying so hard the clerk couldn't handle it and let me have the extra one."

Angela's hands drifted up and down Jane's calf. "Well when I came back that morning it was still dark and it was cold. I turned up our street and your father had known I'd be tired so he left the lights on. So there was our house, brightly lit with those lights and it was like Christmas was calling me home. All three of you were sound asleep and I remember opening your bedroom doors to check on you. All my babies sound asleep. I felt like the luckiest woman alive. I had this beautiful home, a loving husband and three of the most perfect children a woman could hope for." Angela picked back up her coffee. "That is what those lights are to me. All of our Christmases together as a family."

Jane struggled to sit fully upright. "Yeah except now those lights are all you have left Ma. Pop's gone. The house is gone. Even us kids are grown with our own lives."

"Did you hear a word I said?" Angela lightly smacked Jane's leg. "The house might be gone. Your father might have divorced me and of course you three have grown. That was my job as your mother. But nobody can take my memories. Nobody can take all those years away from me. All the laughter, all the sorrow and all the love, those are mine and I wouldn't trade them for anything." At Jane's surprised look Angela smiled. "To be able to be your mother I would go back and do it all over again. Your father and I loved each other and we love you kids. I'll always be hurt and angry about how it ended, but it's like that movie you were watching when I walked in. I have to exist the way I existed for everyone else around me to be who they are."

When her mother touched her shoulder Jane let herself be pulled against her, and rested her head on her mother's shoulder. They stayed there together, watching the TV flicker on mute. Finally, eyes staring forward at the silent images on the screen, Jane cleared her throat "If I move in here and Maura decides in the end that she doesn't want forever I won't even have those Christmas lights Ma. I move in here and she doesn't want me anymore? I won't have anything."

"That girl is crazy about you Jane. Everyone can see it, you see it. You know it." Angela squeezed Jane tighter.

Jane nodded. "I do know. But do you remember after the warehouse shooting? Maura was ready to walk away from our entire history just like that. I couldn't handle it back then and that was before we were ever together. If we had another situation like that she'd get to rip my fucking heart out and I'd have no place to go. You live here with her and I wouldn't even have my crappy little apartment. Right now it's not like we're even engaged. There isn't any tangible thing that says we're going to work it out together."

"Do you remember last year at all? And don't answer because that is a rhetorical question." Angela sighed. "That woman had me living with her and your brother's bastard dropped on her doorstep the night she was almost murdered and her response was to step right up to the plate. It actually brought the two of you closer. So if the two of you being able to handle stress tossed at you is your worry, it's a poor one." Angela let that statement hang in the air before she continued. "Plus I am going to remind you that you weren't around Maura after she went to the hospital and calmed down after the warehouse shooting. But I was there. She wanted you, daughter dear. It was only when you went there like a block of ice that she started fighting with you. She wasn't ready for that from you."

Angela hit her calf again. "You think you are the only one that loses if you two don't make it? Do you remember how you made sure I moved out after that shooting? She might have had her house but you left her there alone and took her away from me. That was why I thought you were both assholes. The second one of you pushed the other was going to push right back harder. I'm going to hope you both learned something from how miserable you were over that and won't repeat it."

"I don't believe that we would." Jane sighed. "I know I couldn't. All I learned from that entire experience was I was unable to do anything but stay by her side."

"Then you have to be willing to put it all on the line." Angela rubbed Jane's shoulder. "Guns blazing, full throttle, no bullet proof vest and just go for it or you'll never have a chance to have your own ragged set of Christmas lights. You have to be willing to build a set to be left with one. Do you understand?"

Jane nodded, calm and suddenly desperately clear on what she had to do.

"Good, my work as a mother is done for the day." Angela glanced at the time. "Now can you turn on the local news? I want a storm update. Do you know if a travel advisory is still in place?"

"What is with you and the obsession with this storm?" The ringing of her phone meant Jane wasn't going to get her answer.

"Rizzoli."

* * *

A/N – Happy Christmas Eve to all :) I have refreshed the holiday nog and I hope you'll all raise a glass to Christmas lights and the gift of memories. I had HOPED to wrap this up by Christmas but this might end up being a boxing day type of story. I'm long winded. I try to shut up but it's of no use. No use at all. Pity my family.

More clues to the song… nobody's gotten it yet…. BUT one of you is very very perceptive :)

Fun note: I wrote the entire Ian situation as a way to include a touch of Run here… felt bad leaving one story out from the Christmas party AND I REALLY REALLY always wanted to write the first part of this chapter. We all know Maura loves coffee ;)


	10. Chapter 10

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

* * *

"Okay let's pin it up and walk it through." Korsak plucked the photo of the latest victim from Frost's fingers and placed it next to the other two. Frost was reclining in his office chair studying the images. Jane was staring someplace on the wall behind him. He shared a look with Frost while they waited but Jane remained fixated elsewhere.

Taking careful aim Frost launched his pen across his desk "Jane!"

She looked up when the pen hit her keyboard and realized the photos were up. "What?" Korsak was standing there with an expression not unlike her high school history teacher. She sighed. "I'm sorry."

Korsak half groaned. "I heard the Doc invite you along at the scene. I heard you decline." He pointed to the board. "So there is this thing called murder. We get paid to find killers."

Jane flicked a hand at him. "Don't mock me." With a snap of her wrist she tapped her chest. "I'm trying to be a grownup." Jane tossed the pen back at Frost's head, smiling when he missed it and it connected with the side of his head. "Bull's-eye"

Rubbing the side of his head Frost glared at her. "Yeah, that's working. Real mature Jane."

"You threw it first."

"Are both of you serious?" Korsak closed his eyes for a moment. "Jane, Maura is going to drop Ian off at the airport and come back to you. So whatever is running through your head you need to let go. What do you think she is going to do, buy a ticket and go with him?"

"No. Yes." Rubbing her forehead Jane groaned. "It's been a long fucking day."

Frost shook his head. "I understand. Maura matters. But just so we're clear you know what you're feeling is ridiculous right?"

Jane nodded. "I know and I wanted her to have a chance to talk to him. With the double case load this was the only opportunity. I can't stop my imagination though. What if she kisses him goodbye? What if she regrets having to end it when it comes down to actually sending him on his way? How am I going to survive if she comes back here to break it off?" She rolled her eyes at herself. "Logically I know all of that shit isn't going to happen, but still."

"What if she comes back here and drags us all early to choir practice? How will we survive?" Korsak pulled at his pants and perched on the edge of his desk. "For that matter, what if she thinks I was serious about wanting the rest of the Santa suit to match that hat?"

That made them all laugh and the tension dissipated.

Jane shrugged. "If you lay off the donuts that wouldn't be such a perfect suggestion, she did look excited."

"Well like you said, that shit isn't going to happen in any place but your imagination." Korsak walked over and rapped his knuckles on the murder board. "This however is real. What are you thinking?"

Frost had the end of the pen in his teeth. "There is a clear MO. The women are alone and somehow the perp knows it. This last one Maura thinks was killed over 24 hours ago. This time it was the kid coming back from college that found his mother. Father died last year of a heart attack." They shared a look and a sigh pausing, the humanity of the case reminding them of its existence for a moment. "He was able to be careful again. Minimal trace and the body was under the Christmas tree so I would think it's safe to say that particular detail is pivotal."

Jane leaned forward, elbows on her desk, foot bouncing against her desk drawer. "So three body dumps near a Christmas tree. Three strangulations during sexual assault and DNA that hasn't come up in any of our databases as a match. The women don't look alike. Different ages, this third victim was a different race profile. Best guess the victim is less about physical type and more about opportunity." The drumming of her foot picked up in pace. "The positioning of the body by the Christmas tree is the clear focus. He was willing to risk a mistake with the second victim rather than leave the body in the place of the assault and he knew in every case he'd have time to clean up. He knew they expected to be home alone. None of the houses showed signs of forced entry so the women were familiar with their attacker."

Jane's phone buzzed on her desk and then beeped. She checked her message and smiled. "Maura is apparently back already and working on Brown's frozen stiff from this morning but she needs to see me downstairs. She needs to show me something in relation to this case but I need to go to her."

The guys shared a look but Korsak waived her off. She'd be useless until she went downstairs anyhow.

* * *

Jane paused long enough for the autopsy door to slide open. "You wanted me?"

Maura had the shield down and her saw in hand. She pointed to the scrubs and goggles. "Yes. No paper, full gear please and give me a minute." She waited until Jane was covered before turning the saw back on.

Watching the way Maura removed the breast plate Jane noted she was moving quickly. Glancing at the wall clock, Jane suppressed a smile. Maura was worried about being late for choir practice and she would never admit it. She knew how long each autopsy took and completing this one would cut it close. When the saw shut down and the breast plate was wiggled free of the cavity Jane moved up to the table. "This one Brown's frozen stiff from this morning?"

Maura nodded, pulling off her face mask and stripping her gloves for a moment. She hit the computer and brought up several images on the screen. "Partially frozen to be precise. I actually called you down because on the external examination we found this pattern on Brown's victim here. The impressions became more obvious as the body started to thaw." Snapping on a fresh pair of gloves she turned the corpse's face. "The shape was found here by the left ear and again on the back of the neck."

"Holy shit, that looks like the impression from our first victim. What do you know so far on this one?" Jane studied the image and the area of skin on the corpse. She glanced at the gaping wound on the back of the skull, the dura mater ragged like a smashed grape. "Axe?"

Maura was smiling, eyes shining. "Well done Detective. He was found by Charles Daniel, owner and operator of a Christmas tree lot called City Trees. It was on our list to visit. Last time Mr. Daniel had contact with my victim, Kyle Lester, was approximately 16 hours ago. He was supposed to be doing a late delivery of Christmas trees but never made the run. Mr. Daniels thought it was because of the storm but when he couldn't get in touch and angry customers were calling, he came down to the lot the minute the snow slowed down to try to dig out what he could and make the deliveries himself. Mr. Lester was partially buried from the storm and the owner found him when he was digging out the Christmas tree bailer. The body was partially frozen despite the insulation of the snow so I would approximate that time of death was early last night."

Jane looked at the diamond impressions again. "I'll go up and talk to Brown but do you know what he is thinking so far?"

Maura shrugged. "I don't have to ask him. In this case the axe was found near the body and when Brown went to inform the victim's girlfriend she was sitting at her kitchen table waiting for him to arrive. He has her in Interrogation 2 right now."

"Lucky bastard, he gets an open and close case during the holidays, while I manage to dabble in my specialty, serial killings." Jane studied the corpse again. Now it made sense why the meticulous Dr. Isles was willing to be efficient. This autopsy was to verify a confession. "Where was the body found exactly? Any thoughts on what made the impressions?"

"You should go look with Frost. The body was on top of some tree bailing netting, which I believe made the impressions on the body. I sampled the skin in both areas but the techs won't be able to process until tomorrow. The delay is my fault. I had the evidence bags with me when I left with the body to make it to your scene had because it was linked to the other two ongoing cases. This scene was complicated by the weather so I know the techs are still holding it. Processing is ongoing. I heard from the techs that the owner of the lot is highly upset this close to Christmas. There were several lovely trees." Maura started to visually observe the organ placement and overall impressions, using her foot to start and stop the recording.

Jane waited until Maura's voice paused, shaking her head as the bigger picture came together. "Lovely trees?"

Maura nodded. "One in particular was on display at the entrance of the lot. The owner was given clearance to continue with his established deliveries outside the marked crime scene and the lot has to remain closed. It was a compromise."

Jane snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. "It's just coincidence that you think I need to go observe the scene instead of ask for access to the photos and reports isn't it? It has nothing to do with the fact that you saw a beautiful tree at a freaking crime scene?"

Maura carefully excised the sternopericardial ligaments before placing her hand inside the chest cavity to push through the transverse sinus. "I don't believe in coincidences Jane." She glanced and evaluated Jane's expression. At the very least she was considering the request. "I simply am considering our lives over the past few days and it is my opinion that the only chance we'll have to find a tree is at a crime scene. Where else have we been except for work? I also have empathy for the owner who needs the business. I remind you that he delivers."

Jane sighed and dropped her arms. "You don't say?" The smile they shared made Jane feel ready to ask. "Ian get off okay?"

"He did." Maura placed the heart on the scale, staring at it sitting there, excised, her fingers bloody. A metaphor if she were feeling capricious. She took a deep breath. "Thank you for understanding." Looking back to Jane she watched her nod slightly. Sensing this was time enough to end this conversation she smiled at her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Jane walked over to the hamper and stripped out of her scrubs. "Now I'm going to grab the guys and go look at Brown's scene that apparently has a tree at the entrance that needs a home."

* * *

With Frost at her side Jane rapped on the window of Interrogation 2. It was smaller, less austere, and Brown had left the blinds open. He met them outside the door. "If it isn't Rizzoli and Frost. You two kids bored upstairs or what? I have a prime case of batteries-not-included if you catch my drift sitting in there." Rapping his knuckles on his head he pointed at the window. "Either of you are welcome to spend some quality time trying to get her to turn the Christmas lights on upstairs if you are looking for something to do. Woman decided to ax her old man because he asked her to marry him. How is that for an answer? God."

They all turned to stare at the woman who started sobbing again.

Brown shook his head "This is what she has been like all morning. Chick was waiting for us at her place with a fresh pot of coffee on, literally answered the door asking what had taken us so long. We're trying to figure out her real name but she either doesn't remember or isn't going to tell us. We don't know the victim's real name either. The two of them work for the traveling carnival rides for the state fairs. Hell, most of the people working the tree lots are off-season Carnies. You can imagine what trying to sort out where they came from is like." He groaned. "I'd have a better chance tracking fucking Santa. Doc said the victim has prison tats and the old lady thinks they were in South Carolina when he was enjoying some state sponsored vacation time. But it also could have been Texas. All she knows is there might have been an Olive Garden and a Target near the prison, which is so unique here in the ol' USA."

Jane laughed into her fist and studied the woman sitting at the table. The blonde had red rimmed eyes and had a can of Diet Coke clutched in one hand. The other hand was flat against the table and she seemed intent on staring at the engagement ring on it. "Frost and I wanted to know if you'd mind if we went to look at your scene. Your vic had a skin impression that seems similar to one on that serial rapist case we're working on and it happened at a tree lot. All three of our bodies were left like presents under the Christmas tree. Too many connections to ignore and since I don't think Santa has gone homicidal, I'd like to get this one off the street before he leaves us any more gifts."

Brown waived them off. "Have fun. Good luck with the owner. He is not a fan of the BPD this morning."

They were walking through the lobby towards the Cafe to grab Korsak when Frost grabbed Jane's elbow and stopped.

"Jane maybe I just have engagement rings on the brain but I know what you just paid for Maura's ring. Didn't that woman's ring seem rather generous for a couple of Carnies?" Frost watched her eyes light up thinking.

"Might have been a fake."

He nodded. "Might have been."

A slow smile spread across her face. "Might have been real."

He smiled back. "Possibly."

"Oh come on." Jane threw her hands up. "Stuff like this does not happen."

"No it doesn't." Frost shrugged. "Unless you work our jobs or maybe unless you happen to be you. Come on, weirder shit has happened. Your girlfriend is the daughter of a famous mobster. Both of you attract every serial killer in New England and need I remind you, baby on your doorstep. Jane." He shook his head. "Seriously. Baby on your doorstep."

They laughed together and Jane didn't care about the looks Murphy was giving them from the front desk when they tipped into the hysterical. This was too unbelievable. It was like something off a TV show. "You don't really believe it's going to be that easy?"

Frost's shoulders where still shaking slightly. "I don't know. I've been a good boy all year putting up with your shit, keeping your ass out of the fire with Maura. I'm due a present or two. This wraps up and I'll be able to spend Christmas with my Mom and Robin after all." He swept both his hands towards the hallway. "Back to Brown?"

Jane nodded. "I'm going to go ask Brown's new friend a few questions."

* * *

Jane settled down across from the blonde. "I'm Detective Rizzoli."

The woman looked at her with tired, red rimmed eyes. "I'm Tracy."

"I thought you told Detective Brown your name was Lisa."

"He's wrong. I was clear with him. I'm Tracy."

Jane watched anger tightening the other woman's face. She sat back slightly, tried to relax her arms. Trying to project calm and unassuming. "Okay Tracy. I'm new to the case, I am so sorry." The other woman's features softened slightly. Jane reached a hand partway across the table and tapped one finger towards the woman's engagement ring. "I saw your ring from outside. It's beautiful. Detective Brown mentioned you are newly engaged."

The blonde rubbed her hand over the ring rapidly before she leaned across the table towards Jane. "He finally asked. He asked but he didn't want me. He was cheating on me you know."

Jane raised an eyebrow. "The nerve."

"He thinks I didn't know but I followed him. I saw him with the other woman." The blonde was breathing hard. "That woman in her pretty house, in her fancy neighborhood, had nothing better to do than flaunt herself at my boyfriend. I saw her. Bitches like that always get everything."

Jane felt excitement pour through her, tingling. She tried to remember everything Maura had ever told her about offering open body language, inviting trust and controlling her breathing. "He shouldn't have done that."

The tears started to run down the woman's cheeks. "He made love to her." She ran her hand under her eyes. "He wouldn't touch me anymore. He pretended he wanted me but his body always told the truth, he didn't want me anymore. But I saw him. He could touch her." She started sobbing harder.

Jane tried to keep her expression free of disgust and pushed a box of tissues across the table. "That must have been difficult to see."

She nodded into a tissue. "Do you know what he did when I confronted him?"

Jane shook her head.

"He proposed, he went into his van and came out with this ring and finally proposed. He said it was supposed to be my Christmas surprise. That he only wanted me, that I was wrong about any other woman. He told me all he did was deliver a Christmas tree to that woman and that he forgot his tools at her house so he had to go back." The blonde's attention was focused on the ring on her finger and her voice was a whisper. "He was on his knee like in a movie. He said that he picked it out special." Her shoulders were shaking now. "It was another lie. He didn't buy this ring."

She pried the diamond off her finger. "There is somebody else's wedding date inscribed on the inside." The ring hit the table with a ping. "He didn't go pick this out for me. The asshole probably stole it from one of those beautiful women with their beautiful houses that he tells me about every night. He delivers their trees and he tells me about how they flirt with him. How they want him." She pushed the ring towards Jane, the metal making a scraping noise on the table. "I took care of him. He'll think carefully before he cheats on me again."

Jane nodded and took a deep breath, pushing her feelings aside until her voice could come out calm and smooth. "Tracy you know that he can't cheat on you anymore. Remember? You told Detective Brown that you killed your boyfriend."

The statement seemed to catch the woman off guard and her face fell as she sobbed. "Who is Tracy? Why can't any of you get my name right? I keep trying to tell you people that I made a mistake tonight. I didn't mean to do it, but I think I killed Richie. I'm supposed to marry Richie but he's dead and nobody is listening."

Jane glanced over her shoulder and saw Frost standing next to Brown outside, both of them shaking their heads slightly. With a sigh she stood up and slipped out the door. "I take it Frost filled you in?"

Nodding Brown still seemed shocked. "What are the odds that the two cases were connected?"

"I don't know. We could ask Maura." Jane looked back into the room at the woman who was tracing her empty ring finger. "Did you call social services?"

Brown nodded. "Called that friend of yours because intake was busy and they wanted to keep her here overnight but we're out of accommodations downstairs. Minnie says Merry Christmas by the way. She said she make sure someone from DMH made it over." He paused for a moment before sliding a look at Jane. "Rizzoli is Minnie single?"

"Maybe." Jane gave him a slow smile. "I'll put in a good word for you. I owe you a favor or two."

"If you can get my ugly puss a date with a beautiful woman like that you can consider us even for handing you a few boring old sketches."

"Deal." Jane pushed away from the wall. "Okay now I have to go trample your scene, see if the tree bailing netting perhaps had a diamond pattern."

She was silent all the way down the hall before she nudged Frost. "That was a hell of a call on the ring. Impressive really."

He shrugged. "All I can say is thanks to you I have engagement rings on the brain. Did you make up your mind?"

"I did."She tried to ignore the pleading look before she let out an exasperated sigh. "Okay fine. I'm not going to ask her for Christmas." Jane rushed her next words when she could see the argument forming on Frost's face. "Trust me. The perfect gift came to me this morning when I was talking to my mother." She pointed to the Café across the lobby and then held the finger up to her lips. "I'll explain in the car. You can even help me pick it up tonight. Believe me it's the right gift. Maura is going to be happy. I'm still going to get us that weekend away and if the timing fits, I'm going to ask her to marry me there."

"Jane." He could see her stiffen, ready to fight it out and Frost cut her off with a wave. "Don't bother we can discuss it later. I wanted to let you know that I already checked and the DNA evidence from the second victim was in the system. I set up as many searches as I could to see if it matches any inmate DNA, but here is your reminder that if he was housed in a state that doesn't collect DNA you're shit out of luck."

"Well that was efficient on the DNA. I'm going to head over to Brown's scene and see the netting, make sure the techs process the van." Jane glanced at him. "How busy are you right now"

Frost gave her a suspicious look. "We work together Jane. You know how busy I am."

"Too busy to help me tie a tree to the hood of my car and then drag it into Maura's?" Jane looked over her shoulder, back towards the hall leading to the interrogation rooms. "Call me crazy but I think I'll skip delivery service this year."

* * *

A/N – Merry Christmas :) My present to everyone is a solved case... tried to keep it to about the level we see on the show and well… perhaps try to make it have a lining of humor with a little "campy" tossed on top.

More clues to the song…. Still haven't figured it out yet…BUT kudos to j. m. pak … you nailed the killer – EXTRA COOKIES FOR YOU :) I might even share my gingerbread cookies with you.

Now… who can figure out that song ;)?


	11. Chapter 11

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

* * *

Amused, Maura wondered how much of their conversation Jane and Barry would remember tomorrow morning. Apparently the fate of the world depended on the logical age a child stopped believing in Santa Claus. Jane's voice was slightly thick from the alcohol.

"I'm just saying Frost that there is no way you still believed in Santa at 10 years old. You can't tell me that somebody didn't slip up somehow before that or knock you on your ass and beat it out of you. Not a single slip?" Jane turned to face Frost in the darkness and leaned against Maura.

Maura chewed her lip when Jane's hand idly clasped her knee, her thumb gliding over the nylon surface as she continued her debate. Each stroke pinged up her thighs. The wine she'd been drinking all night made her feel warm, heavy and acutely aware of Jane. Aware enough that she could feel each breath the other woman took. Beside her Jane laughed at something Barry said and her hand gripped Maura's knee hard. The touch shot straight to her groin, pulsing there delicately and she bit her bottom lip as she tried to focus on the outside world passing by.

The night had started innocently enough. Excitement about the case when the DNA matched down in Florida, meetings were suffered through, an interview with The Boston Globe completed, time off requests granted and her own schedule rearranged. Maura tried not to feel guilty for the extra time off. Tried to remind herself about all the double coverage she had done over the past few days. Everything else was difficult to schedule until after Christmas, reports could be written at home so for once the season offered them a small lull in responsibility.

They were almost giddy if there were such a thing as they bundled up and headed off into the late afternoon light. Choir practice was over at The American Legion Hall and Maura towed a complaining Jane along several snow encrusted blocks. Behind them Barry and Vince crunched along over the sidewalk, morose voices promising various forms of retribution for Jane peppering each step. All three of them shut up the instant she stopped abruptly and simply glared at them. Vince had even sheepishly pulled his Santa hat from his pocket and plopped it on his head with a smile.

When they finally made it into the function hall the atmosphere was jovial and Maura couldn't help but smile. Angela waved her over to where she was standing with Marty Hill and Frankie. Jane had caught one look at the beer can lofted in her brother's hand and pulled free from Maura's grasp to hurry over. Snagging it out of his hand her voice had been reverent. "Oh thank god." She'd cracked it open. "Your idea?" When he nodded she hugged him and Maura had to refrain from rolling her eyes.

From there the night had rolled on. More people arrived along with more beer. It wasn't long before Maura wondered if she was back at a college frat party or at a choir practice. The singing became louder, voices free. Officer DeAmato stood in front of them, his face florid beneath his shock of white hair when one beer became four. His movements becoming animated as he tried to direct them. When voices faded during a rather muddled version of "Carol of the Bells", DeAmato pumped his fists in the air, enthusiasm and his Boston accent thick on his lips as he bellowed "MORE power men, more power."

The effect was lost when his Santa hat fell forward and the white ball on the tip hit him on the nose. With that even DeAmato was in tears, laughing until he couldn't breathe. Finally he clapped lightly until everyone pulled themselves together and huddled closer. Maura used the excuse to step backward and into Jane. When the next round of caroling was kicked off she leaned back to she could hear Jane's voice and Jane put a hand on her hip to balance them.

It was delicious, the timbre of Jane's voice and the vibration of her singing along her back. Maura let the whiskey smoked tone of Jane's voice seep into her and run just under her skin. She let herself be swept along by the sound, by the people around her, enjoying the hat on her head and the feel of her family around her, participating in this for her. She tried to commit every sensation of this moment to memory. Carefully imprinting it and storing it away so if she was ever in need, if she was ever lonely, she could pull it out and savor it.

When DeAmato called practice to a close with his fist in the air, declaring it the "best practice in his history as director" Maura had to pull herself together, remove herself from her mind and into the present, the tingling of Jane's voice still playing with her senses. As everyone started to depart DeAmato loped to the door and ordered them all to the Robber for a drink on him. It was a slightly ribald crew in Santa hats that flowed out onto the street and along the sidewalk until they finally poured into the Dirty Robber.

Jane had taken the ribbing and banter from the senior officers and detectives already inside with ease, flaunting her Santa hat in the air and giving it back as good as she got.

DeAmato started singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer for Mary behind the bar and before Maura knew it, the bar was singing and even Jane had joined in. It was off-key and it was horrific but Rudolph became Jingle Bells and soon people were shouting requests. A glass of wine was shoved in her hand, and then another. Somewhere in the back of her mind she found herself waving goodbye to Angela and moments later Vince.

The alcohol warmed Maura's innards, dilating her vascular system, dulling the edges of her senses. The bar buzzed around her. At some point she and Jane had ended up standing at the bar, leaning against it. Jane's arm was light around her waist, keeping her near, the alcohol freeing her enough to pull Maura a little closer than usual. Officers started offering Jane a free drink in exchange for a song and she'd bargained back, auction-style, snagging a free drink for herself, Maura, Frost and Frankie for one verse. Jane had readjusted her hat with a smirk and again her voice wrapped around and in Maura, the effect now intensified by the alcohol and the delicate pulse between her legs bloomed.

Slowly Maura sipped her third glass of wine and looked around. Frankie seemed intent on impressing Cavanaugh's new assistant, his hat placed jauntily on the side of his head and Barry was already shrugging into his coat, ready to head home. She took a deep breath. Home sounded perfect right now. Home was where she could slide her hands under Jane's shirt and run her palms over Jane's skin.

Her body twitched when Jane reflexively grabbed her hip to lean over and yell something across the bar at Officer Hill. Fingers burned through her dress and she could almost feel Jane's hands grabbing her hips to guide her as they moved together. She polished the wine off quickly and grabbed Jane's elbow to pull her down. She whispered, needy, against her ear. "Take me home Jane." Jane had been ready to argue, tense under her hand, until her tone registered. One look had her yelling at Frost to wait to share his cab.

They'd piled into the back and now here she was, trying desperately not to focus on the tiny stroke of Jane's thumb against her knee. It was almost a relief when the cab stopped outside Frost's building. His good night was muffled by the cold air that whipped past him into the cab interior. The icy air highlighted the warmth of Jane pressed against her side and her nipples tightened against her shirt. The cab pulled away again and Jane didn't move. Daring a glance, Maura realized Jane knew exactly what her thumb was doing. Folding her arms she crossed her legs and captured Jane's hand. The smirk she received made her laugh but two could play this game.

Jane didn't move and didn't stop the minute motion of her thumb even with her fingers wedged between Maura's legs. All Maura could do was focus on the moment they were out of the cab and inside her house. She counted familiar snow covered landmarks and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of the first lit brownstone of Chestnut Street, ready to feel the sweep of Jane's hands along her skin. She closed her eyes and let her imagination wander.

Suddenly Jane's hand gripped her knee, hard. "What the hell!"

Maura's eyes flew open and Jane's mouth literally formed a small 'o'. As the cab came to a stop outside her place she followed Jane's line of sight and instantly covered her mouth. Jane burst from the cab and jogged to the middle of the street, stopping to stare at her house. Settling with the cabbie quickly, Maura stepped out into the biting cold and moved to Jane's side, watching her profile become highlighted off and on by sporadic bursts of colored lights.

Maura slipped her arm around Jane's as the cab drove off. She cleared her throat. "I take it you hooked up the extension cords earlier with Frost when you dropped off the tree?"

Jane's horrified expression turned to face her as they stood in the flashing glow. Her voice was a strained whisper. "We did." She woodenly turned back to the house, watching patches of the colored lights blink on and off, while other parts remained stationary and yet another chased up, down and around. "They didn't do this growing up."

Raising an eyebrow Maura looked at the patch over her bedroom window that flashed on and off. "Didn't do what Jane?"

"Move. Flash. Light up your house like a fucking sign on the Vegas strip." Jane gestured wildly at the house. "They didn't blink!" Her voice was almost a desperate keening wail. "Why the hell are they blinking?"

Maura looked at the other row houses up and down the street. She looked at either house flanking hers with their balanced perfection of white lights and artistically arranged evergreen garland. Maybe it was the haze of the wine or maybe it was the aghast expression contorting Jane's face as she stood there staring at her house, but whatever it was Maura found herself laughing, leaning into Jane and just laughing. "I love it." Jane looked at her completely bewildered. She reached up and cupped Jane's face, brining her down, trying to stop laughing as their teeth knocked together. Controlling herself she grinned against Jane's lips, stealing them for a moment to wipe away the confusion and leave behind a smile. Still grinning when she broke the kiss she left their noses touching for a moment. "I mean it. It is simply the most perfect thing I have ever seen."

Maura slipped her arm around Jane's waist and stood there staring at her house in its blinking, unapologetic, mismatched glory. The rest of the neighborhood looked remote in comparison. This was what Jane brought into her world. Color, brightness and lights that glowed through the snow crust promising warmth and good cheer. Glancing at Jane she could see her mind working rapidly. She reached up again to kiss Jane's cheek. "Don't you dare change a thing if that is what you are thinking. It's unique. It's us." She squeezed Jane's waist tightly. "I love it and I love you, but I'm freezing. Let's go inside."

She let Jane take her coat and wandered through her living room and into the kitchen. "Your mother left us a note. She loves the tree." Maura let out a small sigh, her plans for the next day slipping away as she read. "And apparently since we now all have tomorrow off, we're going to bake cookies and decorate it. She wants you to invite the guys and she'll invite your brothers." Maura tried to ignore Jane's smirk as she walked up. "I have an errand in the morning but I suppose I can manage a tree decorating party."

Jane tried to cover up a yawn but failed as the hour and the alcohol pulled at her. "What can I say? She has a vision. You know what Ma is like when she has a vision."

Maura sighed, her own fatigue catching up with her and simply nodded. "I need to go to bed. I am exhausted."

"Yes, right there with you. I'm showering tonight though. I feel like the Dirty Robber crawled all over me and died." Jane followed Maura into the bedroom and grabbed her towel out of the bathroom. "I'll be right back."

After her own shower Maura slipped into bed, scooting backward until she met Jane in the middle and her eyes flew open when she met bare skin. Jane ran a hand along her bare hip over her ass, before sliding up to caress the skin of her abdomen and Maura felt her breathing catch. Hot breath sent shivers racing down her spine and the same dulcet smoky tones from earlier burned in her groin. "Great minds apparently, but I thought you were exhausted?"

Maura turned over and pressed a leg between Jane's until they melded together, the feel of their skin aligning turning the burning that had teased her all night into a pounding need. She traced along Jane's spine until she could press her thumb into the dip in her lower back and Jane arched into her, rubbed against her and she massaged the skin under her hand, holding her there. Her breathing became ragged as they pressed together. "I am, but I was hoping I could convince you to put me to sleep." Jane's breath puffed erratically against her cheek.

The entire night's awareness pounded rhythmically in her and Maura shifted for relief. Jane could feel her she knew, had to at least feel the diamond hardness of her nipples scraping along her own as they moved against each other. It was almost torture the way Jane's lips hovered before touching down. The surface brushing lightly against hers, playing with her, touching the tip of their tongues together until she couldn't help but shift restlessly, deliberately, to knead the back of Jane's thigh, to push her own upwards until Jane rocked slightly against it.

Maura groaned her approval when Jane rolled her onto her back, when a thigh finally pressed against her hard and she let her hips move, let her mouth be claimed, felt Jane pressing against her, ready. It felt absolutely perfect, the way they flexed together, rocked together, climbed together. Too soon she crested to the edge, her clit twitching, her muscles tensing but she was hopeless to resist. She had craved this moment all night.

Muscles clenching, she went to press harder and then Jane withdrew, leaving her body trembling at the precipice. Maura broke their kiss, a curse escaping her. Jane's voice played warm and wet on her neck. "Not so fast. I want to feel you from the inside." She wanted to claw Jane back to her but there were fingers tapping along her body, touching, pressing before skipping along to another patch of sensitized skin. When teeth bit against her nipple and a tongue soothed the ache Maura dug her fingers and nails hard into Jane's back before reaching up to tangle in her hair to hold her mouth in place.

She could feel Jane wet and heavy against her thigh, could feel her muscles twitching and Maura brought her leg up higher, pressing into Jane and offering herself up simultaneously as a plea. Fingers trailed along the edges of her wetness, captured her clit at the base, making her move helplessly until a fingertip teased the tip and all Maura could focus on was the clawing need to have Jane inside her. Fingertips pushed in before withdrawing and Maura grabbed at Jane's hips. "Fuck Jane, I know ways to make you beg for days." The chuckle was low, dark and against her breast and then fingers pushed in, slowly, withdrawing, rushing back in with a third as her eyes slammed shut briefly. Each movement, each push, ripped up her spine to bloom over her body, Jane was grinding against her and echoing her every thrust. It was becoming harder to keep her eyes open, to watch the slide of them together. Jane's fingers were everywhere in her, her palm and wrist pressing into her clit with each motion. It was all Maura could do to add two fingers between her thigh and Jane's clit and the thrusting inside her instantly sped up.

Everything started to rock and crash over her at once, propelling her upward and into oblivion, landing her hard before rocketing her up again. White pinpricks hit her vision and Jane's fingers pressed roughly in and around until she was spiraling over the edge. Falling in an overwhelming rush as Jane tensed violently and sagged against her. They lay connected, catching their breath. Maura slowly relaxed the grip she had along Jane's back. Gently she wrapped her arms around Jane and held her close, breathing her in, breathing them together in, feeling her body pulsing around Jane's fingers.

In this moment, with Jane inside her, with them together wrapped in her senses, owning her mind and emotions all at once, Maura believed in forever. Understood the cliché of completion. She only wished she could articulate the knowledge, the certainty with words and share it.

She felt Jane slip from her body and sighed softly at the loss. When Jane went to shift off, Maura held her closer and pressed her head against her collar bone. Jane somehow understood. When it was them, like this, she always understood. An arm wrapped around her shoulders as Jane pulled Maura with her, rolling them onto their sides, tangling their legs together and drawing her tightly against her. The grip released for a moment until the duvet floated coolly around them and Jane's arm settled back against her.

It was easy then with the light pressure of Jane's chin on her head to let her eyes drift shut, to let her body relax and to let the night claim her.

* * *

A/N – This writer is going to find herself on next year's naughty list for taking so long. But we're almost there. And there are strong song clues in here. And considering what this chapter has in it… maybe maybe you'll all forgive me just a wee bit ;) Please :)?


	12. Chapter 12

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

* * *

The escalating ring of Jane's mobile phone drilled into Maura's head and she lifted her free arm to cover her eyes with a groan. Against her shoulder she could feel Jane stirring, felt her curse into her skin, mumbling something about being old enough to know better. Licking dry lips, Maura tried to swallow to relieve the dryness of her mouth but it was of little use. Jane's phone signaled a message. A sleep laden voice was warm along the surface of her breast. "There had better be a very good reason my phone just rang with the BPD ring. I'm not on call and I'm off for the next few days." They lay there still for several moments, until Jane shifted closer and burrowed her face into the crevice made by the side of Maura's breast and her arm, her words sounding muffled. "I don't want to move, my head might split open. It's too early. What time is it?"

With a deep steadying breath, Maura turned her head enough to read the bedside clock. "Not very early actually. It's a little after 9." Shifting slightly she took inventory of her body. There was a pleasant twinge in her thighs, a lingering sensitivity between her legs and her shoulder was stiff from Jane's weight but these were all welcome sensations. Her head throbbed slightly and her mouth was thick and dry. Not welcome, but not unexpected and would clear with some ibuprofen and water. All and all, she'd had more than her usual to drink last night but nothing that would make her day difficult.

A soft, pained, moan made her look back at the mess of dark curls. Jane on the other hand would likely spend the day with a bottle of ibuprofen and a shortened temper. Suddenly her own headache intensified as Angela's note from last night came flooding back. Hung-over Jane and a tree decorating party. Maura rubbed her temple firmly and groaned. Feeling eyes on her she looked down at Jane and met bleary brown eyed concern.

"Are you okay?" Jane put her head back down but continued to look up at Maura. Sometimes it surprised her still when they woke up like this. It wasn't every night, but often enough she'd wake up to find that somehow they'd rearranged while they slept and she'd wake up in Maura's arms. The first few times she'd been surprised, not sure what to make of it. Eventually she decided not to analyze it too much. It felt secure, warm and somehow she fit perfectly in the contours of Maura's body. It was her safe place.

"I'm fine, but you are going to have to find some patience today. I don't know if you remember but your mother is hosting a cookie and tree decorating party tonight." Maura took Jane's growl as answer enough and reached her free arm over to hold her close for a moment. This was her favorite way to wake up, but she'd never let Jane know. It was validation that no matter how Jane acted when they were awake that subconsciously she knew Maura could take care of her. That she would safeguard her and be the strong one through the night. It mattered even more in the morning that she never moved away. That Jane accepted her strength and welcomed her protection. Maybe it was the lingering intimacy from the night before when she'd spent hours needing to feel Jane on her, needed to feel her inside her, but the up swell of emotion caught her off guard and Maura swallowed thickly. It seemed so simple on the surface but it gave her a sense of security in their relationship that she had never had with anyone else before. They belonged together.

Knowing she was delaying the inevitable, Jane finally sat up and reached over to her nightstand, grabbed her phone and listened to her voicemail. "I have to go in for a teleconference that Cavanaugh set up. Our serial rapist was linked to some unsolved cases in Texas thanks to the searches Frost set up. Apparently the girlfriend was correct that they'd been through there." Jane ran her hand through her hair, getting her fingers tangled in the ends. "I need to run a few errands anyhow so this is as good a motivator as any. Christ though, it is so much to ask for a day off?"

Maura sat up and moved over to sit beside Jane, resting her head against her shoulder and smoothing circles along her back. "You would be more upset if he didn't include you. Sean knows you." She kissed the bare skin by her lips. "I'll get ready and come with you if you'd like?"

Jane reached for Maura's hand and brought it to her lips, enjoying the delicate play of bones under the surface. "No, please don't. Not because I wouldn't want your company but you've been pulling double duty for days." She let out a sigh and dropped their clasped hands into her lap. "Besides, I need you to babysit Ma. Make sure she doesn't turn this little tree decorating thing into a big tree decorating thing with half her adopted family from the BPD."

Maura lifted her head quickly and faced Jane. "She wouldn't?"

Jane snorted. "Are you new? You do live here full time with her. Sometimes I wonder how you can handle living with what is basically your mother-in-law all the time. I worry about your boundaries." Jane flinched lightly realizing she'd used the term mother-in-law. Now that she knew she had the ring her mind already had them married.

"She is a little like that, isn't she?" Maura dropped her head back down again with a happy sigh. "I love your mother."

"One of us should." Jane jumped at the pinch at her waist and then groaned when the sudden movement made her head pound worse. "Bad Dr. Isles, no torturing the injured." She looked down as Maura resettled. Maura did love her mother. Maura loved her and her family. She had even looked pleased when Jane had called her Ma her in-law. For a moment the need for information burned at the tip of her tongue.

"You love your mother." Maura turned and pressed her forehead against Jane's shoulder knowing she was going to move in a second and already hating that the moment would end.

Jane smiled, ran her hand down Maura's back, memorizing the touch for later. "I do. I love you both." The need for information lingered, the questions burned but she could always ask later, without distractions hovering. Satisfied with her decision to wait, Jane carefully untangled her fingers and sat up more, letting Maura shift away before standing. "Okay I'm going to get ready. The sooner I get done with work, the sooner I can bake cookies and decorate the gargantuan tree in your family room."

Raising her eyebrows Maura narrowed her gaze. "12 feet is hardly gargantuan. We saw much larger on the lots and if you make fun of my tree I won't let you help decorate it."

The haughty tone made Jane roll her eyes. "Most people do not have 12 foot trees and I have my ways of convincing you."

"We're not most people and I think you are starting to get a big head. You may want to reevaluate your inclination to challenge my fortitude this close to Christmas. Santa might leave you rocks instead of presents. He might even take back the ones you got to play with last night."

Jane chuckled and then squeezed her hands against the sides of her face as her stomach lurched. "Don't make me laugh, my poor brain can't take it and it's coal Maura." She pulled her hands away to look at the smug expression staring up at her. "But I think you damn well knew that." Jane couldn't help but reach down and kiss her forehead. "As for the rest, fair enough. You know I don't like to have my toys taken away. You are certainly right that we are not most people and the tree is beautiful."

* * *

When Maura woke again she was surprised to see the time. She hadn't meant to fall back asleep but the minute she had let herself curl back under the duvet her eyes had become heavy and sleep found her easily. She could hear noise coming from downstairs but she couldn't make out who it was. She focused her attention for a moment. Angela she suspected but Jane's voice did not seem to be part of the mix. She grabbed her phone off the bedside stand to check her work email and noticed she had a missed text message. Noticing the name she smiled brightly and opened it up. Reading it sent a thrill of excitement through her. She quickly texted a request back before scanning her work email and getting up to get ready.

Making her way downstairs Maura smiled at the site of the large stately evergreen dominating the room and partially blocking her view of the kitchen. Angela's voice carried easily and by the tone and animation she wasn't surprised to see her talking to TJ as she dotted kisses on his open palm. Lydia was laughing as she added a cup of something into a mixing bowl.

Lydia spotted her first and stopped mixing the contents of the bowl in her hands. "Hi Maura. I was starting to wonder if you were okay up there but Angela told me you guys had a late night."

She could feel a delicate blush creeping over her skin at the images that flashed through her mind but Maura managed to smile lightly. "It was. Jane and I were out after work for drinks after choir practice."

Angela looked up from where she was pretending to eat TJ's fingers while the baby laughed hysterically. "Oh I didn't think it was so late when you girls came home. I heard the moment Jane saw the house lights loud and clear." She bent her face close to the baby's. "Your silly Uncle Frankie didn't realize that that box of extra bulbs were the ones that turned the strands into blinking lights. Grandma already told him he needs to change them."

The delicate blush deepened and Maura could feel the heat on her face. If Angela was awake when they came home but still aware they'd had a late night then that meant only one thing and she wasn't going to consider the how. She scrubbed a hand against her heated cheek and avoided looking at Angela while she went to fix herself a cup of coffee. "Please don't make Frankie get up on a ladder with all that snow. Christmas is almost here and I already told Jane this last night and I mean it. I love it. I honestly do. We'll fix them before we decorate the house next year."

Angela dropped the baby's hand and handed him a large mixing spoon to hit on the counter, flinching lightly at the first bang. "That's going to be loud, but I'll do anything to keep him strapped in that seat while we get all these recipes mixed up. This is when I miss Jane being around, she'd be happy to get out of cooking to go play with him."

Lydia nodded as she slipped her bowl under the kitchen mixer. "She's very good with him. Now that he is finally walking, it's all I can do to keep up with him. And to think I was worried when he wasn't walking by his first birthday. If you hadn't calmed me down Maura I would have been in a panic."

Sipping at her coffee, Maura was glad for the quick change in topic but her head started to throb again with the enthusiastic banging. "Well developmental milestones are only a guideline and TJ was walking by 13 months. If he was delayed at 15 months I am sure his pediatrician would have recommended early intervention."

Angela saw Maura's wincing and swapped out the metal spoon for a rubber spatula. "Well he doesn't take after his father that is for sure. Tommy was on his feet and walking at 9 months old. The neighborhood ladies couldn't believe it. There was this chubby baby on his feet, toddling down the street. He was so active I used to spend hours just following him up and down the block." Angela shook her head. "Always trying to keep up with Jane from the get go." Her apron pocket buzzed and Angela pulled out the phone and answered it asking the caller to hold on. "Okay girls, I have Santa Claus on the phone so I'm going to step into the guest house for a minute. Maura honey, that bowl I'm working on is the Chocolate Crinkle cookies. Just pick up the recipe from right after the sifted flour."

Lydia watched her leave. "She has been waiting for a call all morning. I wonder what she is up to."

Maura shook her head. "I've learned never to ask that question. I am not comfortable when I cannot understand something and Angela Rizzoli is beyond comprehension. Sometimes I find it easier not to even start to speculating about anything that involves her logic patterns." She moved to her cabinet and pulled down a block of baking chocolate. "So how are you? Jane mentioned that you're dating someone new."

Turning her finished dough out onto plastic wrap, Lydia divided it into four equal balls and wrapped each one up. She took her time placing them in Maura's refrigerator while she thought of exactly what she wanted to say. "I am. It wasn't something I was looking for. Not really anyhow, but Mike is a kind, good, guy. Very reliable." She turned around to study Maura, ready to defend herself if necessary but found only quiet understanding looking back. She let her breath out in a rush. "Is Jane upset?"

Maura shook her head. "I don't think so. Perhaps a little sorry for Tommy but I think as long as you are happy and TJ is treated kindly she doesn't have a problem."

Lydia picked up her dirty bowl and moved to the sink. Grateful for the chance to talk with her back turned. "He's wicked good with TJ. I think I fell for him when he spent an entire night letting TJ hold onto his fingers so he could walk around the living room. You know, I really think TJ started walking because of all the time he was willing to do stuff like that with him. It kills your back you know, leaning over like that."

Maura nodded. "Not an optimal position to avoid strain on your lower back."

Lydia poured soap onto a sponge and put her energy into scrubbing the bowl. "I'm so damn tired most nights. It's just me you know. Tommy tries most of the time but we don't live together and I know when he's tired he stays away. Then he can just go to bed. I can't. I have to still take care of TJ." She started rinsing the soap off, watching the water chase the bubble in rivulets off the sides. "Mike's job is pretty physical too, like Tommy's. He's under cars all day. Works overtime when he can get it. So he's tired too. But even tired, most nights he shows up and plays with TJ for hours while I make dinner and set up for the next morning."

Maura could hear the part of the story she wasn't saying. That Tommy didn't do that. Didn't try like that for her.

Lydia grabbed the dish cloth and started drying the bowl off. "I love Tommy you know. I love Angela and Frankie. I love you and Jane. You have all been very good to me." She pointed to TJ who was starting to fuss against his restraints. "He will always be a Rizzoli. I wouldn't have it any other way but..." Lydia took the bowl, clean and ready for the next batch. "But I needed a clean start. Mike only knows my history like a story. He wasn't part of it and it doesn't bother him. Tommy on the other hand can't seem to commit. One day I realized that perhaps the reason he couldn't do that is he can't move away from the past. But I can and with TJ I don't have a choice. I'm ready and Mike is willing to give that to me." Lydia straightened up and stared at Maura. "He wants that, with me. I haven't told anybody yet, but he asked me to marry him. The ring is in my pocket, I wanted to tell Angela first."

The speech and confession caught Maura off guard and she realized the chocolate she had been melting over the double boiler was liquid and almost too hot. She removed the bowl and stirred the mixture quickly, cooling it slightly before mixing it in the dry ingredients, watching it all bind together. Contemplating everything, Maura stared at the completed dough. When she finally looked back up she could see Lydia was tense as she stiffly measured out ingredients. Maura realized she needed to say something. Maura reached over and touched her wrist. "I understand." Lydia looked at her hopefully. "I honestly do. Congratulations." She hesitated to ruin the moment but needed to ask. "You don't think that it is a little sudden to agree to something as serious as marriage?"

The formal tone made Lydia tilt her head and stare at her for a moment and Maura wondered what she was seeing as she rolled balls of chocolate dough and dipped them in powdered sugar. Finally the other woman shrugged her shoulders.

"Depends on what you call sudden. I don't see any point to waiting. I've been dating Mike for like 8 months now. He's over most nights. I told Tommy a couple of weeks ago that we were serious and he said he was cool with him. I hope he understood what I was saying at the time, but I am not sure he did. That was before the marriage proposal. I told Tommy about it this morning. He seemed okay." Lydia measured a few teaspoons of cinnamon into her bowl. "I was with Ray off and on for two years and all I learned the longer we were together was that my first impression that he was an asshole was correct. I just didn't think I could do better." Molasses poured slow and thick into the mix. "I just have to trust my instincts and experience. I'm not the same person I was before I ended up pregnant. I'm not even the same person I was when I had TJ. I think all those mistakes made it real clear what choice was correct for me and for TJ. Saying yes to Mike felt right."

When Lydia turned on the mixer again the noise made it easier for Maura to not reply and instead finish loading the trays of chocolate cookies in silence. Was it really that simple? For TJ's sake she certainly hoped it was. With Garrett there had been formalities to their engagement. It had not been without love, infatuation and romance, but it also had not been a blind jump into the unknown. Consideration had been taken of every step before they made it and there had been irrefutable logic in their formal union.

Maura carried a loaded tray over to her oven. Not that their formality had changed the outcome. For all their care and due diligence in the end she and Garrett had still had broken the engagement and the quiet condolences and thinly veiled confusion over their split had haunted her steps for years. Hurt her for years.

Lydia on the other hand seemed willing to simply take a chance without analyzing every angle and outcome. She only knew that he was a good man that loved her and her son. A person that wanted to be in her life at night when they were both tired after working all day. So when Mike had asked her to choose him, Lydia had simply listened to her heart and said yes. Just like that. With everything that had happened to her she still was able to simply say yes.

TJ took that moment to finally yell his displeasure at his lack of freedom and Lydia rapidly released the straps holding him in and then stood around staring at Maura's house. The guest house she was familiar with, but here it was white and clean. "Everything around us is breakable."

Maura looked around, trying to see what Lydia was seeing. It was just her home. This house had blinking lights and a messy kitchen. It had baby proof locks on cabinet doors and breakable knickknacks moved to higher shelves and Maura didn't even have children of her own. There was a coffee stain at the edge of her area carpet and the couch cushions had been professionally cleaned more than once. It had a little more wear and it was a little more lived in than if she was here by herself, but it wasn't breakable.

Maura shrugged lightly. "Not everything. This place has survived the Rizzoli clan so far. Put him down, it will be okay, don't worry." Lydia still held onto TJ and the little boy arched his back and yelled something that was suspiciously close to down. Maura smiled and walked over and placed her hand on Lydia's shoulder. "Please Lydia, let him go. He's family, he's welcome here." It warmed Maura to be able to say that, to offer that reassurance to someone and she meant every word. They both watched a triumphant TJ find his balance and move off with blooming toddler independence.

Both of them turned when the back door opened and shared a quick look as Angela's voice carried into the room, calling out to TJ as he squealed and tried to run from her. Maura leaned closer. "Lydia, bring Mike by tonight to decorate the tree. I'd like to meet him."

Lydia nodded and pulled the ring out of her pocket, slipping it on. It was time.

Maura gave her a small smile of encouragement, watching her walk over to Angela who was pretending to chase a stiff legged TJ around the coffee table while he screeched at the top of his lungs. Lydia started laughing and when Angela noticed the diamond on her hand as Lydia made a pretend grab for her son, she heard Lydia explain in halting words. There was a brief flash of what Maura thought was disappointment over Angela's features before she reached out and scooped Lydia into a big Rizzoli-style hug.

At that moment Maura envied Lydia and as she set the timer on her stove, she realized she could learn something from her as well.

* * *

A/N – This chapter is probably one where it would be easier to understand if you've already read WTBB but I couldn't figure out a way to write this differently and technically this is a sequel so :) Yes more song clues because that is the real mystery under all this. I'm going to guess with this chapter you can all see the end in sight, and it is coming…. But on the road of life even a highway has it's turns … I bet you'd all be really worried if this was an agsty fic. It's not ;)

Happy New Year!


	13. Chapter 13

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

And who appreciates their beta? This girl! Because I have another update ready to go and any mistakes on the last one are mine b/c I did a last minute tweak and I think I perhaps made some errors (I will go stand in a corner now)

* * *

Maura inhaled the steam that rose from the cups as the boiling water passed over the tea infusers and let the mint her senses. In the middle of her family room was a collection of boxes. Her neat ornament organizers from last year were piled alongside bent and weary cardboard boxes from Angela's storage unit. Tommy and Mike were struggling to sort out Angela's tangle of Christmas tree lights, while Vince was pawing through the shopping bags of garland Angela had bought that afternoon. Last year she had used brass beads for strung ornamentation and this seemed to be a travesty that the Rizzoli matriarch was determined to correct via yards of glittering, feathery rope.

Garland, Maura learned, was supposed to be silver. Or rather, it should be shiny, light reflecting, voluminous and silver. By the end of Angela's educational discourse Maura was able to ascertain that, in theory, garland was to represent snow that had fallen on the branches. When she had asked about the appropriateness of using white instead of sliver, Angela had merely given her look she could only equate with pity.

Which was not an incorrect emotion considering the inordinate amount she was bestowing on herself as she watched Vince shake the garland around. Staring at it again in Vince's hands under the light, she'd been honest earlier when Angela had pulled it out in all its glittering glory. It certainly did catch the eye.

At the very least it certainly caught TJ's eye and poor Lydia was moving rapidly as she tried to distract him with the toys she had brought but from where Maura stood it was a losing proposition. The garland was impossible to forget. When Angela looked up with a smile Maura held a mug aloft and the other woman stepped carefully through the debris and made her way over.

"Thanks honey." Angela sipped her tea and watched Mike and Tommy threading white lights along the trunk of the tree. "Those white lights will help brighten up the inside of the tree."

Maura nodded but decided to hold her tongue. It seemed like a large amount of illumination for one tree. When she turned to respond Angela appeared to be introspective and weighted with something she wanted to say. When the silence stretched on Maura took a chance. "Mike seems like a kind man. TJ interacts with him favorably."

Angela's sigh was long and drawn out. "I have to agree, even if part of me wishes it wasn't true." She watched as both men handed off the white strand to each other as they wound the lights down the tree. "I am in the impossible position of feeling horrible for my son while being happy for my grandson. Mike seems like he will be a good influence on him and Lydia deserves some stability and happiness. Tommy helps but it is not the same thing as having a partner at your side when you go to sleep and wake up."

Letting the warm mint tea slide down her throat, Maura tried not to laugh at Vince who had the baby laughing hysterically as he played peek a boo with the fluffy garland. She could see the lines deepen at the corner of Angela's eyes as she stared at Tommy. "I don't know if this will help but I don't believe that Lydia was looking for Mike. I think he happened and I think she tried waiting for Tommy." As she watched Tommy and Mike started chuckling when TJ laughed so hard he fell down. "For whatever reason Tommy couldn't commit."

Angela nodded. "I only hope he doesn't regret it later. Sometimes I want to strangle Frank Sr." She sighed. "You would think our divorce wouldn't have affected our grown children, but sometimes I think it shows in little ways even if the lot of them would never admit it. Tommy in particular tends to internalize things and he doesn't have the maturity of his siblings to work his emotions through and put it in perspective. Frankie you can tell has already figured it out, even if he can't balance the fact that his Ma is also a woman. He'll get there. Jane pushed it off for a while, but now I can see her finally dealing with it in little ways. Dating Sean turned out to be best thing to force her brain into gear. But that is my Jane. She avoids the issue until she can't get around it anymore. But Tommy? I'm going to have to handle him one on one. Sometimes he needs more help."

Suddenly Angela reached out and squeezed Maura's arm before letting it go. "Be patient with Janie, okay honey?"

The front door bursting inward broke the conversation before Maura could respond and the sight brought a huge smile to her face. Jane and Frost stepped out of the cold and instantly the noise level increased.

Frost pulled his scarf away from his neck and handed it off along with his coat to Jane. He waved as he walked in the room. "Sorry we were late but it's not my fault." He gestured back at Jane. "Your girlfriend can't get it together with this whole Christmas thing and I was stupid enough to agree to go with her to run a…" Frost made air quotes around his head. "quick errand." He shrugged. "Like trying to get around the city during rush hour right before Christmas is going to be quick."

Jane rolled her eyes. "You can't blame me if you knew what you were getting into. It's not like I held my gun to your head. I'm going to change." She paused for a moment. "Wait a minute Frankie's shift was over this morning and he left the station even earlier than Korsak. He said he was coming right over here. Where is he?"

Angela waived her off. "Go change, your brother is being a good son by picking up something I need for Christmas. He said to start decorating without him."

As Jane was turning to leave the garland in Korsak's hand caught her eye. "Oh good, we have garland. Did you get tinsel?" When her mother nodded Jane grinned. "Perfect. I'm on garland duty. None of you geniuses, including the legitimate one, will get it right." She ignored the one fingered gesture Tommy flashed her from behind the tree. "I can't wait to teach Maura how to tinsel." When Maura looked at her, she gave her a wink. "It's the best part."

This time as she turned to go, Jane realized Tommy wasn't by himself threading lights along the tree. She shot a quick glance at Maura who nodded. She walked over and offered her hand. "You must be Mike. I hear congratulations are in order."

His grip was firm and sure. He met her eyes with a smile and his face was kind. "Thank you and thank you for having me tonight. You have a beautiful home."

She went to tell him that it wasn't her house when she caught the expression on Maura's face. Jane could see her shoulders square a little as she contained herself. It wasn't much but it was one of her tells. It made Jane hesitate for a moment letting her eyes darting around the space while she gathered her thoughts and the picture hit her hard. Looking around again, slowly taking in the people and the mix of ornament boxes the answer was simple and it tightened hard in her chest.

Jane looked back to Maura and let their eyes lock together. "Thank you, we love it." And it was true. She did love it. The walls might belong to Maura but the home was theirs. The hazel eyes looking at her were impossibly soft and infinite. Clearing her throat Jane felt her cheeks flush and she looked back at Mike. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go change."

Maura watched Jane go and for a moment debated following her. Ultimately she decided to give her a moment alone and turned to Angela instead. "I hope you realize you don't have anything to worry about with Jane and me. We might approach a case from different angles but in the end we solve it together." With that she put down her half finished tea and went to help Lydia with TJ.

* * *

Jane closed her underwear drawer with satisfaction. With Maura's gifts stowed away she was officially ready for Christmas. She rubbed her upper arms for a moment, positive she had made the right choice and it brought a sense of peace that was rare. Christmas morning had not been this hard to wait for since she was 8 years old and the anticipation was hard to contain.

At the bottom of the steps the excitement made her tingle and Jane paused to take in the sight of almost everyone close to her heart in one place. Frost was working on the garland with Korsak and she was only going to have to fix it slightly just to make a point for not listening to her. Not bad for a couple of Rizzoli garland application amateurs.

Tommy and Mike had done a perfect job with the lights and the white lights glowed from within and the boughs were cheerfully bright from the multicolored strands. Lydia was at Mike's side and her ring glinted faintly on her hand. They looked good together. With a soft sigh she studied Tommy standing off to the side a little. She made a mental note to sit down with him soon. After their conversation up on the ladders a couple of days ago, he had to be having a hard time, but he seemed to be handling it well. He'd grown up this past year.

Her mother was pulling something from the oven and Jane breathed in deeply. That smell could only mean lasagna for dinner.

Finally she let herself look at Maura. She was crouched next to TJ in his chair at the kitchen island. His fist was a chubby mess of crumbs and chocolate and he was laughing while patting her cheek. Maura was practically nose to nose with him, her eyes soft and curling at the corners, making Jane ache someplace deep and private where only Maura could reach.

The hand trailing up her back made Maura smile and she straightened up, leaning back as Jane's arms wrapped around her waist. "Hi."

"Hi." Jane squeezed her arms and dropped her chin on Maura's shoulder, relaxing as Maura's hands held her arms in place. Noticing a streak on Maura's cheek she ran her lips against the spot with a murmur. "You have chocolate on your cheek." The soft skin was intoxicating and she trailed a discrete line of kisses along Maura's cheekbone.

Maura bit her lip as goose bumps tickled her arms. "I had that much chocolate on my face?" She could feel Jane shake her head against her shoulder, spongy brunette curls teasing her cheek.

"No, just the first spot, everything else was for me." Jane closed her eyes in contentment when Maura crossed a hand over to bury it in her hair and scratch lightly against her scalp for a moment. Suddenly something bounced off her cheek and her eyes flew open as she straightened up. She looked at the wadded piece of newspaper on the floor with a frown. Everyone was elbow deep in her mother's boxes of ornaments, uncovering each newsprint wrapped treasure and hanging it up.

Korsak was grinning at her and held up another wadded ball ready to go. "You going to join us Rizzoli or should we give you and the Doc a little privacy?"

"Jealous old man?" All the same Jane took the hint and gave the waist under her arms a final squeeze as she let go.

"Jealous? What do I have to be jealous for? I believe Angela promised I could catch her under the mistletoe." Korsak barely had time to step behind Frost before Jane was around the couch and stalking towards him as he gave a small wave from behind Frost's shoulder.

Frost frowned at him and picked up a box of bulbs and went back to the tree. "Oh no, don't put me in the middle of this."

Jane raised an eyebrow at Korsak her voice dropping to a warning only partially in jest. "I have a feeling you are going to regret all those Christmas cookies you've been eating for weeks in a minute." Before she managed to take another step a sharp pinch on her arm made her yelp and spin, coming face to face with her mother. "Ow. Ma!" Scrunching up her nose and forehead she rubbed her arm vigorously.

"Did you ever stop to consider your mother might not mind a kiss from a handsome gentleman under the mistletoe?" Angela ignored the look on Jane's face and held out an angel ornament dressed in a tutu and ballet slippers. "Here, hang this up Jane. I believe this one belongs to you." Just as Jane was about to move towards the tree and closer to Korsak, Angela grabbed her elbow, her tone laced with warning. "And you had better act like just like that ornament."

Jane passed Korsak with an eyebrow raised in promise but that only made him laugh and after a minute she was laughing at herself. Still chucking, she placed the angel ornament carefully on a branch. It was worn, the skirt torn on one side but the wings still held their glitter edge and the tiny point shoes sparkled the same way they did the day her Nonna had given it to her to celebrate her first Christmas recital. With a half smirk she remembered the way the tights had twisted uncomfortably under the leotard and how she had fought her mother every step of the way of having her hair smoothed into a bun. And then there had been that incident on stage. Who knew fake spray snow was that slick? She had just wanted to dress up her slippers and how was it her fault the other girls had wanted to copy her? Jane gave the little angel a tap with her finger so she glittered as she pirouetted under the branch. Needless to say, her first recital was also her last. She needed to remember to tell Maura that story later.

With that thought on her mind, Jane sought out the other woman, stealing a glance at Maura where she stood by her couch with TJ on her hip. It didn't surprise her that Maura had her nephew. After the debacle of Lydia leaving him on Maura's doorstep he held a special place in both their hearts. Jane found it interesting that even though it had been over a year since Lydia took him back that they still hadn't spoken directly about the topic of future children. Sometimes Jane thought Maura avoided the topic deliberately, or at least stepped around it in that delicate way she had to avoid upsetting her. Maura caught her gaze with an affectionate look and Jane rubbed the back of her neck against the heat creeping over her skin at the intensity. Lately though, Jane found herself wanting to bring it up. She just wasn't sure what she wanted to say made any sense, because on one hand nothing had changed.

Jane Rizzoli absolutely did not want children.

But on the other hand, more than anything else, she did want Maura's children. It was a paradox that she was hoping Maura could understand. She didn't care where those children came from. Maura could have them. They could adopt them. Hell, if absolutely necessary, she'd have them herself and that said a lot. A fuck of a lot. But wherever they came from she wanted Maura's children and watching Maura rocking slightly side to side with TJ, she wanted them with an almost desperate ache.

Jane felt another set of eyes on her and when she looked around she found her mother giving her a pointed look. For a moment she was positive her mother could read her mind and she quickly went back over to the ornament boxes and chose another wrapped bundle. Tossing the paper aside, Jane held up a cartoonish reindeer bouncing a basketball wearing a red, white and blue uniform. It was another ornament belonging to her from childhood. Her father had bought this one to celebrate the father-daughter outing they took when the Harlem Globe Trotters had been in town. She turned it over in her hand with a sigh. Years of memories flooded around her. All the joking and laughter with her Pop when she'd uncover it each Christmas, followed by a coin flip to decide which one of them would hang it up. For a moment Jane debated wrapping it back up and putting it back in the box.

Instead, she walked over to Maura and held out the ornament. "I was wondering if you would hang this one up for me?" Maura studied her for a moment, head tilted but she accepted the plastic ornament and ducked TJ's chubby fingers as he grabbed for it, putting him down when frustration had him struggling in her arms. Jane watched her examine the tree, before walking up to consider a certain branch a little more. Finally she seemed to settle on a spot and carefully secured it in place. Maura turned to her in question and Jane gave her a thumbs-up, a sense of peace curling through her as a part of her new life combined with the old.

"Is that okay?" Maura could feel the emotion but she wasn't certain the cause. Jane offered her a soft smile and nodded before crouching down to rummage through the box at her feet.

Jane sifted through the loose paper in the box. "Done with this one." She looked around the floor at the empty boxes and at the tree, breaking into a smile. "It would appear that we are done with the ornaments." She rubbed her hands together. "It's tinsel time." Gleefully she pulled the plastic packages out of the bags and handed one to Maura.

Academically, Maura knew what tinsel was, but looking at the already eclectic tree with the fluffy, silver garland, she tried to imagine the finished product after they covered it with the shiny, sparkly strands. "Jane I know there is a tradition to using tinsel as a final accoutrement, but modern tinsel is made of polyvinyl chloride. It's mildly toxic and difficult to recycle. I researched it last year when I was trying to determine what I should have on the tree for your mother." Maura tried giving Jane an earnest smile. It was an unlikely argument but it was worth trying.

Shrugging Jane ripped open a package. "Live a little Dr. Isles. I promise not to swallow any and this year I won't sneak any wrapping paper into the trash. All of it will go in one of your 10 recycling bins outside."

"You put wrapping paper in the regular trash last year?" Maura frowned at her. "And I do not have 10 recycling bins. I have four and each serves a particular purpose."

"Five if you count that black thing that turns." Jane tossed Tommy a package of tinsel and passed out the remaining to everyone else. "Now hush while I show you proper technique."

Maura watched Jane select several shiny strands. "That black thing is my urban composter and there is a technique to this?"

"Oh yeah Doc. Your Y-incision skills are going to come in handy." Jane held up the tinsel. "Okay you take a few strands like this and you flick your wrist up and carefully drag your hand along the tips of the branches so only a few strands drape down. Uniform is key."

Frost was shook his head. "Oh hell no. That is not how you tinsel." Frost walked up with a handful of silver and tossed it on before combing it down. "That, partner, is how you tinsel."

Mike was laughing. "That way looks right to me. I was one of five kids, you learned real fast to grab a handful and go for it if you wanted to get your chance to put any of it on. We didn't even comb it out after." He walked up and tossed a small handful at the top of the tree.

Now Tommy buried his face under his arm. "Mike, dude, no. I like you but you're not teaching TJ how to tinsel. Right Lydia?" Tommy turned around expecting to see Lydia at his side but she was gone. Looking around he noticed her over with his mother.

Angela yelled over from the kitchen island as she handed TJ and sugar cookie. "I rescued poor Lydia. Maura you might want to join us. Trust me, I learned in the first year of marriage not to help with the tinsel and Frank Sr. taught the three of them. They're neurotic."

Hands on her hip, Jane looked over her shoulder at her mother. "Some say neurotic, others call it skilled." She pointed to the tree. "Come on Maura. Show them how it's done." Looking back on it later Jane would realize the glint in Maura's eyes gave her away but suddenly there was tinsel hanging off her hair, into her eyes and sticking to her lips. Dragging her fingers across her face she cleared the sparkly strands from her eyes. Korsak and Frost were the first to break down into laughter.

Angela yelled in from the kitchen. "Now that is what I call technique!"

The rest was inevitable because there was no way Jane wasn't going to give as good as she got. There was also was no way that Frost wasn't going to come to Maura's aid so Jane needed to put him in his place and Korsak had it coming to him from earlier. Tommy grabbed a handful of tinsel from the box as she darted past him and as Jane watched a floating silver cloud cover Mike's head, she knew there had to be some personal satisfaction in throwing something at him.

The doorbell brought them all to a sparkling standstill. Jane looked around the room. The only person missing was Frankie and why would he bother with the bell? She tossed her handful of tinsel at the tree and went to follow Maura to the door when her mother was at her side, grabbing the back of her shirt. Annoyed, she looked at her but there was a big, ear to ear grin on her face. Jane felt a moment of trepidation. She knew that smile. She watched Maura pull open the door, telling Frankie he knew better than to ring the bell when the sentence stopped half finished. What in the hell had her mother done? Jane pulled away from Angela's hold and hurried over, coming to a standstill immediately at the sight. Suddenly she became very aware of the fact that she likely had a fine coating of tinsel over her head.

Maura recovered first. "Mother!" she brushed frantically at her shirt but reached out and helped her mother in, kissing her cheek. "I thought you were in Vail."

Constance shrugged out of her coat and let Jane take it. "I decided to join your father there after Christmas. His flight doesn't come in from Japan until the 27th. When Angela contacted me with the idea to surprise you for the holidays I thought her suggestion perfectly lovely." She stepped aside to allow Frankie to pass by with her bags.

Frankie walked over to Jane and dropped the suitcases. "Sorry we're so late but I had to get her from Bedford and there was an accident on 95."

Still off balance Maura turned around to face Angela. The older woman walked up and kissed her cheek. "Merry Christmas honey. I couldn't think of anything you would want more for Christmas than to have all your family together. Your mother and I have been frantic these past few days trying to get her here with all the cancellations and delays."

Pulling tinsel out of her hair Jane shook her head, finally understanding her mother's new obsession. "Now your new fascination with the travel advisory status makes sense. I was starting to think you had signs of early dementia."

Angela shook her head at her. "I have been disappointed in you Jane. I was positive you at least would have figured it out after the storm. We almost didn't make it with all the cancellations but Constance managed to arrange for a private charter at the last minute." Walking over to Constance she smiled at her. "Glad you made it." She looked at Maura. "And you young lady, watch me, this is how you greet your mother." Angela pulled Constance in for a quick hug before grabbing Maura's arm and giving her a little push. "Have I taught you nothing? Now greet your mother properly."

Watching Maura hug her mother, Jane rapidly walked over to her mother and embraced her hard. "Thanks Ma. Thank you so much. I love you."

Angela rubbed Jane's back and kissed her cheek. "Merry Christmas baby. I love you too."

* * *

A/N – SHOUT OUT to Jobee24 – Way back when you caught the thought about Angela having Constance come. I was like oh SH*T did I make that part that obvious? The case I was hoping would be sublevel but I wanted my other little gems well hidden and I thought I had that one "there" but hidden enough at the time, especially since the draft had it here in Ch 13 (well 12 at the time). Anyhow kudos. I wanted to say so at the time but I didn't want to wreck the story.

I love my readers… I honestly do. All of you are so much fun :) You've been playing along, guessing, encouraging me. I lovehearing how people interpret things, even if I never viewed it like that myself. I don't think I say thank you enough to those riding along with me. So thank you :)


	14. Chapter 14

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

* * *

"Jesus Christ almighty!" Jane leaned on the horn as a little Honda Civic squeezed through the light at the intersection at the last possible second, almost causing her to sideswipe it.

"Jane Rizzoli!" Her mother's distinct growl of disapproval grated along her frayed nerves. The glare coming at her through the rearview mirror was scorching. It was only matched by the cool vision of Constance Isles staring out the window. Oh shit. She forgot about her. Jane darted a glance at the passenger seat but Maura remained exactly like she had been since this morning. In a permanent state of ignoring her. Biting her lip, Jane looked back at Constance's reflection, jumping slightly when she realized the other woman was discreetly smiling into her fist. And were her shoulders shaking? Disbelief made Jane look a little harder. Constance Isles was actually laughing at her. Laughing at her! Could this day get any worse?

Maura watched the stopped car in front of her get closer. And then closer. And then she just clutched the thigh next to her and yelled "Jane hit the brake!" Maura grabbed the wheel for good measure and pulled.

When Jane jumped away from the sudden grab she bit her tongue and barely applied the brake in time to avoid a telephone pole. The car lurched to a sudden stop and half lidded hazel eyes glared at her before pointedly drifting closed. She hit the steeling wheel lightly with both palms. Well shit. With the blaring symphony coming from behind them Jane decided not to ask herself any more questions surrounding the possibility of the day deteriorating any further and she damn well was not going to look at either mother in the back seat.

Easing the car back into the bumper to bumper crawl along Pond Street, Jane gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles were white. Why did she have to open her big mouth this morning? It certainly didn't change where she was headed.

She'd woken up this morning exactly the way she had fallen asleep, draped along Maura's back, arm secure around her waist, face pillowed into Maura's hair. Apparently they'd both been exhausted enough when they finally made it to bed that they didn't move for the entire night. Cozy and warm, Jane had been loath to move and from the irregular rise and fall of Maura's breathing against her arm, so was she. Jane had kissed the back of Maura's neck enjoying the slight surprised wiggle against her. "How long have you been awake?"

Maura threaded her fingers through Jane's hand and brought the arm tight against her. "For a little while, but once I get up this day is going to be involved."

Jane couldn't help but chuckle. "Christmas Eve with my family and your mother? I don't think involved covers it." She yawned and flexed her legs. "So far, so good though. I haven't had to call a SWAT team in for back up. I even think your mother had a good time last night."

Constance had shocked her. She had handled the entire night with poise, grace and a fair bit of quick humor. It was easy to see where Maura had acquired her sense-of-self and bearing, but Jane found the sharp wit a surprise. It was composed, but Jane was willing to bet Constance's affection for the arts indicated there were deeper currents under the cultured surface. In fact, as the night wore on Jane was willing to bet that certain cavalier aspects of Maura's nature might be more nurture than genetics.

Not everyone could walk into a loud, boisterous dinner where conversation was animated and rowdy, but Constance had joined in the clamor with cultivated laughter and compliments over her Ma's lasagna. The longer the night wore on, the more a shocked Maura had slowly allowed the rigid stiffness of her body to bleed away. Jane had meant to check on her feelings about her mother's arrival when they went up to bed but she'd fallen asleep so fast. She squeezed the hand in hers. "How are you doing with your mother being here?"

"I'm still amazed. I can't believe Angela did that for me."

Chuckling Jane had buried her face back into Maura's hair. "Me too, who would have thought Ma could keep anything like that secret."

"I don't know. I often find your mother a confidant. Her indiscretions often only occur if she believes she is assisting in a situation."

For a moment Jane had debated probing that statement a little more before she considered the woman in her arms and what possible conversations Maura may have had with her mother. It was frightening. In the spirit of the season she decided that there were some mysteries in life she'd let someone else solve. Shifting upwards she adjusted her hold until Maura was tucked under her chin. A glint caught her eye and she plucked a thin silver strand off Maura's pillow. Tinsel. Jane couldn't help the smile. Maura had totally got the drop on her with that little tinsel fight. It was so out of character but it had been a blast. The only shame was at the end there had barely been any tinsel left to decorate the tree with. She let out a sigh. The tree was still pretty but it was not the same. Jane ran her thumb along the back of Maura's hand. Now at least Maura didn't have to worry about toxicity or judging by the way she'd tried to talk Jane out of tinsel, looking at too much of it on the tree.

The body stiffening along her back was the first warning sign. Maura rolled onto her back when Jane abruptly sat up and was met with the sight of Jane in detective mode, focused, staring at her carefully, arms folded across her chest.

It had been the thought about the tree lacking tinsel mixed with the memory of the face full of tinsel that made Jane put the pieces together. "Maura Dorothea Isles, you are a sneak! You totally started that tinsel fight to avoid having it all over the tree didn't you?"

Maura could feel herself squirming, could feel the color washing over her cheeks and down her neck. "I should probably get up and make coffee. I am sure your mother is up but she shouldn't have to be alone entertaining mine." Before she could move she was caged in by two arms as Jane loomed over her.

"Nice try. Deflect all you want, but I'm looking for an answer." Jane waited but when there wasn't any response other than Maura chewing her bottom lip slightly she shook her head. "Bad girl Dr. Isles, very bad girl, you just landed yourself on the naughty list on Christmas Eve. Whatever is Santa going to do about that?"

Had this been any other morning other than one where her mother was most likely waiting for her downstairs Maura would have answered in a plethora of ways. Most of which would have concluded the morning quite nicely with the type of aerobic workout that they both preferred. Especially the way Jane's eyes bored into hers, intense. Her thoughts were obviously a shared experience. Unable to help herself Maura reached up and slipped a hand under Jane's shirt to stroke the sleep warmed skin. "Can I consider that question and get back to Santa later tonight?"

Jane raised an eyebrow. "I don't know. Santa is going to be pretty busy later on, what with the 8 tiny reindeer and all."

Maura let her fingers trail under Jane's breast, enjoying the slight hitch in breathing. "I can be very convincing."

Jane eased herself slowly upright, away from the teasing touch. Maura had this ability to bring her from zero to turned-on that Jane could never quite adjust to. "What am I going to do with you?" When Maura went to answer, Jane covered her mouth lightly with two fingertips. "Rhetorical question, you answer that and we'll end up joining our mothers around lunchtime." With a sigh she reached over and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. "Huh. Frankie texted me. The lazy bum wants a ride to our little Christmas Caroling experience tonight. No wonder he's getting a little soft around the middle, Children's Hospital is only two blocks away from his place. I'm going to tell him to jog his ass there." Busy with her reply she didn't really notice that Maura had hurried into the bathroom.

Frankie's response had been almost instant. Jane had to read it twice to be sure. The empty side of the bed registered and she was up and stalking over to the bathroom door. She tested the handle. Locked. It was hardly surprising considering. She rapped her knuckle lightly against the bathroom door. "Maura, I don't suppose you could help me understand why Frankie's text says, and I'm quoting, 'Cute, but I'd like to see your bony ass jog all the way to Stoneham.' Why would he say Stoneham, if Children's Hospital is in Boston?"

Maura looked back at the closed bathroom door with mild trepidation. She'd been counting on having Angela next to her when Jane found out. "Because the Salvation Army Choir is singing at Children's this year."

Jane waited but nothing else floated through the door. She let her forehead hit the wood surface with a groan. "Okay. Work with me here. How does getting our usual caroling place stolen by those red bucket toting bell ringers translate into going to Stoneham today?"

It didn't take much imagination for Maura to picture Jane's head leaning against the bathroom door. "If you read your email blasts from Officer DeAmato you would have known that he was looking for suggestions on where we would like to perform. Everyone voted and my suggestion was picked."

Jane slapped her palm next to her head. "You are killing me here. Killing me. What exactly was your suggestion?" The first time the words were said she wasn't sure she heard right they were so rushed and soft. "A little louder there Maura."

Maura cleared her throat. "I suggested that we support the Stone Zoo by caroling at Zoo Lights." Jane's growl was loud and clear through the bathroom door and Maura winced at the stubborn undertone.

"Oh hell no." Jane cursed under her breath, remembering their conversation at the Christmas tree lot. It felt like a lifetime ago. She waited for long, silent minutes but Maura wasn't saying anything. "I mean it Maura. No. You have no idea what that place will be like tonight. We'll sit in traffic for over an hour, there will be no parking spaces left, so we'll waste half the night just trying to get out of the car and did I say no yet?"

Sorting through her limited options Maura tried again. "But Jane, the Zoo was delighted to have us. It's an honor to be invited to be part of their Christmas Eve."

"Good try. But I told you, never again. It's a celebration of scary animatronics and kids hyped up on candy. No way, no how." Jane tapped her foot impatiently. The competitive edge in her couldn't believe Maura had bested her so easily. She had never even seen it coming.

Annoyed, Maura opened the door to make eye contact. "And I asked you if that was a challenge when you said that and you told me it was whatever I wanted it to be."

"I also said not to waste the effort!" Jane met the narrowed hazel eyes defiantly. "I am not going."

Maura put her hands on her hips about to say something when she took a deep breath and centered herself. This was pure childlike foolishness on both their parts. But still she wanted to do this with Jane, together. "But you promised you would do this with me."

Jane simply shook her head. "No means no." And she meant it. Or at least she meant it until the face in front of hers went still. Very, very still.

Maura let her arms fall to her sides. "Fine then, I can appreciate your standpoint. I will see you afterwards." She gripped the door handle tightly before trying one more time. "Your mother had fond memories of you there as a child and I was looking forward to sharing this with you." She waited a moment but Jane didn't say anything and as irrational as this all was, it hurt. She had been looking forward to going out all together, especially now that her mother was in town. The Zoo Light part was meant to be a joke and frankly Maura had thought Jane would have opened an email up and put a stop to it long before it became a reality.

When the bathroom door shut in her face abruptly, Jane cringed and the lock clicking was loud and clear. She knocked lightly. There was no response and after several more minutes of waiting the shower turned on. Jane let out a long sigh and decided to go get ready herself. Maura would have to come out eventually and she'd try talking to her then.

The problem was she never did get that chance. Eventually Maura did appear downstairs and she'd been perfectly delightful. Cheerful and animated the entire morning with everyone.

Except her.

At some point Maura must have told her mother and her mother's thoughts on the subject were loud and clear without saying a word in front of Constance. As Maura had helped her mother prepare for Christmas Eve dinner, cleaning squid and making struffoli, Jane had found herself widening the path between the house and the guest house. When the shoveling was done she found herself relegated to deicing the front walk and after that, stuck in the guest house wrapping presents for TJ. Even when she had appeared back in the main house, in uniform, with that stupid Santa hat on her head, jingling the car keys at the exact time they needed to leave, Maura had merely raised her eyebrows and continued discussing post-modern something or other with her mother. Ouch.

Like she predicted she was now inching along in the traffic towards Zoo Lights. Jane darted a quick glance at Maura. One hazel eye opened and looked lazily at her. The voice was smooth, cultured and a little dry. "I would think keeping your attention on the road has been proven to be a prudent choice today." As the eye closed again Jane sighed. At least they were speaking again. Sort of.

Parking was less problematic than Jane had expected. Apparently as performing guests they were allowed to park back near the delivery doors. One of the mounted cops had shown them the way and let them in the back gates. Maura seemed rather entranced by the cop or his horse. She wasn't sure which and right now speculating wasn't helping her mood.

Passing through the zoo, thousands of lights of all shapes and sizes illuminated the exhibits and the pathway. Maura was up ahead walking arm and arm with her mother. Jane dared a glance over at her own mother. "Alright, let's just get this over with. How in trouble am I?"

"With me or with Maura?" Angela suppressed the urge to smile at the exasperated sigh. "With me, you're here and I have all my Christmas gifts wrapped. As far as Maura goes, you need to ask her but saying you're sorry isn't the worst gift I could think of." Angela took her daughter's arm. "Especially since that girl doesn't ask for much."

"I think you're missing the point. I had said I absolutely did not want to come here or be part of the choir. I had already gotten coerced into this freaking choir and she still set me up." Jane winced, hearing the words that came out of her mouth. Somehow hearing them made her feel like an asshole.

Angela dropped her arm and tossed her hands in the air. "Please don't tell me I raised an idiot."

When Constance looked back at them, Jane offered a little wave. "Sorry, we're good." Jane reached out and dragged her mother close to her. "Fine, you did not raise an idiot." She looked over at Maura smiling at Constance as they walked along highlighted by the Christmas lights. So very beautiful. With a long sigh Jane wished she was the one beside her. "I'm done being dumb. I'll get her alone and apologize."

It turned out that getting Maura alone was almost impossible. They'd immediately run into Frankie with Tommy. TJ had looked adorable and almost lost in a giant puffy snowsuit, oversized hat, a hood and thick fuzzy mittens. Tommy had looked slightly dejected when he told Jane that Lydia had decided to go spend Christmas Eve with Mike's family so Jane walked with him over to the reindeer exhibit on the way to meet the rest of the BPD Choir. She had insisted he take TJ to be with everyone at the zoo and passed along her regrets.

Jane nudged Tommy with her elbow. "You doing okay there little brother?"

He'd looked at her for a moment and shrugged. "I'm good. Sort of sucks that Lydia couldn't make it."

She nodded. "Sort of does. I think you were right about Mike being a cool guy."

The shrug again. "Yep."

Finally Jane realized there wasn't anything she was going to say that would make any difference. It was a big change and one that would affect them all in little ways and Tommy in significant ways. But he had had his chance. There was only one thing to say. "I'm sorry Tommy."

He looked like he was going to say something for a minute before he sighed and ducked his chin under his jacket collar. "Thanks Jane."

When they reached the reindeer enclosure a small platform was set up. Jane tried not to roll her eyes. How quaint. She walked over to Frost and Korsak. "Well you two still clean up okay in your blues." She ignored their sarcastic snorts as she leaned over the fence to stare into the dark enclosure. "Even with those spot lights you can't see much. I doubt there is anything alive in there. What's your bet that DeAmato opens with Rudolph?"

Korsak chuckled. "I'd be disappointed in him if he didn't. Where's the Doc?"

"Mad at me."

Frost groaned. "What in god's name did you do on Christmas Eve that landed you on her shit list?"

"I can't get into it. One of you would probably smack me. Can we leave it with my mother's sentiment that Jane is an idiot?"

Korsak laughed. "Well I'm not one to ever argue with a lady."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Fuck that, you argue with me all the time."

Frost's just shook his head. "You just made his point."

Jane pointed her finger at both of them, about to argue when she spotted Maura laughing at something with Constance and Marty Hill. Hill was leaning into her while they spoke, his hand on Maura's shoulder. She narrowed her eyes. Hill was pushing it. "Excuse me gentlemen. I have to go remind Hill he is wet behind the ears."

Halfway to her destination DeAmato called everyone together and unlike practice, he layered them swiftly in three rows by height. Not only did Jane find herself smack in the middle of the top row, she had to deal with the fact that Maura was in the front row and directly in front of Hill. Her only consolation was Frost was next to Hill. He must have said something because Hill glanced at her and she enjoyed it when he took one look at her and directed his eyes anyplace but at Maura. Frost had just earned himself lunch next week. She even managed to smile when DeAmato called for Rudolph.

They'd just finished "Oh Christmas Tree" when she looked over at Maura. She was smiling and following her line of sight she spotted Constance next to Tommy. She rubbed her hands together trying to even imagine what Tommy was saying that was making Constance laugh like that. DeAmato signaled for "Oh Holy Night" and partway through Jane looked back over at Tommy. For some reason the melancholy notes of the song mixed with sight of her brother standing behind TJ's stroller alone made her heart ache. Life was never going to be something that made sense to Tommy. He never seemed to grasp what the right thing was to do at the right time. In the end he might only have himself to blame but he was her little brother and she hurt for him. Jane glanced back to Maura and realized hazel eyes were staring right at her. They stayed that way through the last verse of the song and Jane felt herself relax as they reconnected.

The singing dragged on and then DeAmato took in requests for popular favorites and encouraged a sing-a-long. When families joined in and kids started dancing to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." Jane realized she was having fun. A lot of fun. She looked quickly to Maura and caught her eye and they smiled together.

When the final song came to a close Jane jumped off the platform and into the crowd but she couldn't find Maura in the milling crowd. She finally spotted her mother with Tommy. "Hey have either of you seen Maura?"

Angela looked up from where she was bent over TJ making sure his ears were covered. "Constance was cold so Maura wanted to bring her inside for a few minutes. I think they went into the New England wildlife building to warm up, it's the only hall left open tonight but it's all the way at the back of the park. Jane nodded and headed off to find the building.

* * *

The two milling wolves studied them carefully before one trotted out of the building and into the night. Constance smiled at her daughter before studying the plaque on the enclosure. "I believe I saw you smiling at your detective during the caroling. I take this to mean you are no longer angry with her?"

Maura tried not to show her surprise when her mother opened such a personal line of questioning. "I was never honestly angry with her. A little hurt, yes, but not angry." Maura sighed. "She simply has a difficult habit of making a decision and then holding to that decision relentlessly. It is an asset in her job but challenging to navigate in a relationship."

Constance nodded. "Your father is not unlike that. He can be focused on his work for months at a time, especially if he is preparing something to publish. Relentless and dare I say, he can come off as cold towards me at times. When we were first together it was hard not to get frustrated with that part of his personality."

Maura smiled at her mother. Part of her was euphoric. They had never shared like this before. This was a rare glimpse into her parent's relationship. "I didn't ever think of Father like that."

Constance snorted. "Your Father is a wonderful man, but he has his quirks and I have mine. It's the fact that we can accept each other's quirks and even appreciate some of them that make our marriage work." Feeling Maura's interest, Constance took a chance. "I notice that you tend to approach much of life very academically. I hope you realize that love is like art. It comes from deep inside and expresses itself almost without the artist's permission. It does not have to seem logical to everyone, it just exists as an extension of the artist's soul. No matter how many people examine one work of art they will all have their own impressions and what is so wonderful about art is each impression is correct." Constance turned and put a hand on Maura's back. "When I met your Father nothing about him made sense. I remember thinking on our wedding day that we had gotten there so fast I couldn't quite remember how we had gotten there. He was my passion and it could not be contained. It was quite the scandal at the time."

Maura laughed a little before watching the one wolf studying them. "Didn't you worry that it would consume you and leave you alone in the end? How did you know it would work?"

"I didn't. Who could ever know what the future holds? But as I said before, my love for your father was an extension of my soul. He happened without my permission. Impossible to have caution about something that is beyond your control." Constance rubbed Maura's back lightly. "This wolf reminds me of Jane a little. Evaluating us carefully, protective of its pack mates outside."

Maura nodded her mind spinning. "Wolves have highly structured social hierarchies. I'd imagine that the one looking at us is the pack alpha. They are dominant over the rest of the pack and protective of the entire group. I'd imagine this one is the alpha male. His mate would also be an alpha and they are the only ones that reproduce. Usually they mate for life."

Constance chuckled and pointed to a line on the descriptive plaque in front of the glass. "You don't say."

Surprised Maura looked at her and her mother gave her a little wink. Maura turned back and stared at the wolf, about to ask her mother the next question burning in her throat when Jane jogged in, her dress shoes noisily striking the floor. Seeing them she paused, uncertainty gracing her features.

Her mother smiled at her and gave her back a final pat, "What exquisite timing she has." Constance's voice was soft and between the two of them. "I leave you to deal with your wolf. Your very sorry looking wolf. Go easy on her, it is Christmas Eve."

Maura waited until her mother had left before she acknowledged Jane standing there. "My mother likes you."

Jane cleared her throat. "She does?"

"Yes, she called you a wolf." Maura walked up to Jane.

Jane shook her head. "Wait, your mother just called me a dog and you think this means she likes me?" Tentatively she reached a hand out before dropping it down.

"A wolf is not a dog." Maura reached for the hand that had dropped. "She also said that I was to go easy on you."

"I'm sorry Maura." Jane pulled her closer, relieved when Maura took the final step and rested her forehead against her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around Maura's waist. "I deserve to be stuck right on the naughty list. I'm having a fun time tonight. Thank you for forcing my immature ass here and sharing this with me."

"I'm sorry too. I overreacted and I shouldn't have suggested Zoo Lights to DeAmato in the first place." She wrapped her arms around Jane's waist, ignoring a small group of people that walked in and gave them a strange look. "I was only focused on winning that challenge. Cornering you into coming here was unfair."

Glancing around and noticing everyone else involved with the exhibits Jane kissed Maura's temple. "Still love me?"

Maura reached up and stroked Jane's cheek briefly. "As illogical as it seems, I do a little more each day." She dropped her hand and stepped back. "Now I need to see those animatronics you claim left you with psychological childhood scars."

Jane laughed and offered her arm. "Don't say I didn't warn you after."

"I won't."

* * *

A/N – Who is awesome? You guys.

Two of you figured out what the song was :)

First person to get it right was Inuzuka Akari who nailed it after chapter 11 and patiently waited for me to give my kudos until now so I wouldn't wreck it for everyone else :) Brava!

Next was Hoo-Hoo-Hoosiers - you said you loved the song and here it is rizzled-up :)

Each chapter including this one has one of themes from "12 Pains of Christmas" running through it. Sometimes vague, sometimes specific. Although not in perfect order if you look back through the chapters you'll find in some way:

1 Finding a Christmas tree, 2. Rigging up the lights, 3 Hangovers, 4 Sending Christmas cards, 5 Five months of bills, 6 Facing my in-laws, 7 The Salvation Army, 8 I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!, 9 Finding parking spaces, 10. Batteries not included, 11. Stale TV specials … and… 12. Singing Christmas carols

To everyone, thank you for playing the mystery song game along with me :) When you write and people are willing to respond and play along… Well it made the holiday.

I'm going to be rather sad when I post the final chapter after it comes back from beta.


	15. Chapter 15

See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

Beyond thanks for snowinmysoul for weeks and weeks of rapid beta work in and around a busy life.

* * *

Jane went to pass the broccoli to Korsak when two fingers touched her wrist. With a sigh she brought the plate back to her and scooped a few spears out. She went to pass it off again when the fingers returned. She tried to muster a convincing glare when Maura added more, but after arguing all day it felt good to have her hovering again. When the plate was released she practically tossed it into Korsak's lap if only to make a point, but she was smiling when she did it and Maura gave that gentle shake of her head. When she winked back and Maura rolled her eyes they found themselves laughing. "Fine, I'll eat it but not a word about the butter and parmesan."With that Jane grabbed the grated cheese and let it snow down until the green was sufficiently covered, ignoring the amused twitching on Maura's face.

Angela laughed discretely into her hand at the sight across the table. These were times that she could still see Jane at 7 years old, knees skinned up and hair askew. Knowing Maura embraced those parts of her daughter, loved her for them or despite of them, was a gift for her mother's soul. Noticing Frankie enjoying it as well she went to distract him before he started in on Jane. "Did Frost get off okay?"

"Yeah Ma, Logan's back to a normal schedule, don't worry, his Ma will have him for Christmas." Frankie frowned at the dish she handed him. "What is it with you and the squid every year?"

"You grew up on that squid! Have some respect for tradition." Angela handed him the garlic bread. "This I know you'll eat."

Constance put a forkful of the squid in her mouth. "This is delightful. Which region is your family from Angela?"

"Region in Italy?" Angela chewed a moment while she thought. "At this point we're kind of mixed. I couldn't tell you what part of Italy each dish is from unless I went through the recipe box and tried to figure out which relative it came from. Now it's just all Rizzoli tradition." She pointed her fork at Maura. "I've learned more from Maura while we're cooking about what dish might come from which region."

At Jane's side Maura was explaining where each dish on the table may have originated from. The cadence of her voice was comforting and Jane let herself enjoy dinner against the buzz of conversation. Across from her, she noticed Tommy being uncharacteristically silent. She kicked him under the table, smiling when he scowled at her. "I was just checking to see if you were in there or if the body snatchers had come and sucked your brains out." That earned her a bit of a smile.

"I'm here. Just thinking about when Ma and I dropped TJ off at Lydia's tonight. Mike was there." Tommy cut into a ravioli before pushing part of it around in the sauce for a moment. Suddenly he let out a sigh and looked at his sister. "Do you think tomorrow morning TJ will know it is Christmas?"

Jane bit her lip, understanding suddenly. "Naw, too young. Maybe next year he'll be excited."

Tommy nodded but then looked back at her. "Won't matter though, I won't be there that Christmas morning either." He glanced around the table watching everyone laughing and eating. "Mike offered to video him opening the presents I left." Tommy stared at his plate of food.

"Oh Tommy." Jane stretched across the table and poked at his hand until he looked back at her. "Listen, you and Lydia are going to talk and you'll come up with a solution now that Mike is part of your lives. When he's older you can swap out Christmas mornings year to year. Maybe while he is still young, you can go over there before presents are opened. Talk to her, you'll see. He'll be a little more aware next year, you're not missing much."

He put his fork down and looked at her. "It isn't the same though. Like when we'd grow up and remember how Ma and Pop would make us wait until 6am and then we'd go running in there and wake them up?"

Jane shrugged "Yeah, so, we don't do that now do we? Not that I didn't love those Christmas mornings but shit changes." She paused to grab a piece of garlic bread as the basket passed by. She bit into the bread and as she chewed, she looked around the table. It occurred to her that she was eating the same food she had enjoyed for years on Christmas Eve but almost every face at the table was different. It had the feel of Christmas Eve with the promise of new traditions. Korsak here now, teasing Frankie and charming her mother. Constance and Maura were deep in conversation, both of them relaxed and laughing. It had changed completely from when she was growing up but it was still wonderful.

Finishing her bite of bread, Jane caught Tommy's attention again. "And even if we weren't too big, Pop isn't here this Christmas and he probably won't be here next Christmas. But who knows? I sure as hell didn't think last year we'd be having Christmas with Constance and two years ago I wasn't with Maura and TJ didn't even exist. So shit, different, but it's still Christmas. I don't know, it isn't bad is it? I know I'm looking forward to you bringing TJ over tomorrow." Tommy shrugged, not looking convinced and Jane wished he could see what she was seeing. When he glanced around the table and was quiet she thought maybe he could, hoped that he could, but Tommy was the type of guy that took life as it was. Didn't look forward into the future and seemed to forget his past too easily.

Tommy finished his dinner quietly before calling Jane's name and waiting for his sister to look at him. "Do you think TJ is going to think Mike's his dad?"

Jane was surprised but the statement made her think perhaps Tommy would start to figure things out. At least enough to be there for TJ. "Well he is going to be parenting him so he's going to be a father figure. That you got to deal with Tom. But if you get your ass in gear and you're always around TJ? Well guarantee he'll know that you are his father." She pointed her finger at him. "But only if you make sure you're part of his life. Don't be like Pop. He's missing out on all of this because he walked away. I don't know what he is doing for Christmas but I know it can't be as good as this. No reason for him to disappear just because he and Ma got a divorce." Jane looked at her brother, not sure if he understood what she was saying. "Basically it comes down to this. You made your choices, Lydia made hers. You can't change them but you can work with them. You still have to decide if you have the balls to be TJ's father and if you don't, you have to get with the program and understand Mike will be. Capisce little brother?"

Tommy shook his head a moment. "So your advice is suck it up and don't fuck it up?"

Jane broke into laughter with him. "That works." And she realized it really did. For both of them.

* * *

Maura checked the layout of the dishwasher again and satisfied with the balance, she shut the door. Turning around, she looked into the dark family room surprised the television wasn't on. She had chased Jane away from helping her load the dishes and thought she'd try to catch the news. Maura glanced at the clock on the stove. It was almost midnight. Later than she had suspected. Jane must have already gone upstairs. She was about to head up herself when a soft yawning noise caught her attention. "Jane?"

The voice floating back at her held the deeper edge Maura associated with a sleepy Jane. "I'm by the couch."

Maura turned off the overhead lighting in the kitchen and made her way over to couch. "Whatever are you doing on the floor?"

Looking up Jane reached for Maura's hand. "Admiring the tree. Growing up there was never enough seating once my Ma was lying down on the couch so we'd end up on the floor surrounding her. At Christmas time when I didn't like what was on TV I'd sit there and stare up at the tree. Always made it look so tall from the floor. I like it better from down here." With Maura's hand in hers she gave an insistent tug.

Maura yielded to the pull against her and let Jane tug her in-between her legs. She settled with a soft sigh against Jane's chest and stared at the tree. "I think you are correct. It is quite beautiful from this perspective." Strong arms encircled her tightly and she slid down a little until she could rest her head against Jane's collarbone. They sat in silence and Maura could feel the gentle rise and fall of Jane's breathing against her back. There was an uncharacteristic stillness to the woman behind her and Maura let her fingertips trace along the arms at her waist. "You are rather still tonight. What are you thinking about?"

Jane gave a small half laugh. She shifted and tightened her arms around Maura. "I'm scared shitless because Constance is alone with my mother. Why didn't we insist that she stay in the main house again tonight?"

Maura chuckled. "Because neither one asked our opinion. I believe Mother was going to help your mother wrap the last of her presents while they watched Miracle on 34th Street, the original version."

"Like I said, scared shitless." Jane jumped slightly when Maura lightly pinched her wrist. "Hey! What was that for?"

Maura brought the injured wrist to her mouth and kissed it. "Because you were deflecting my earlier question about what is honestly on your mind."

Jane shook her head. "You are spooky sometimes Doctor Isles." She turned her head and kissed Maura's temple. "I was actually feeling sorry for Tommy."

"Oh?"

Jane sucked in air and let it out slowly. "He was so depressed at dinner, kind of caught me off guard. Tommy is a sweet guy and all, but he isn't what I think of as a deep thinker." Jane looked at the tree again, the way the dots of colored lights outlined the branches. "But he was upset at dinner because he wasn't going to be there in the morning when TJ opened his presents and he's worried he is being replaced as TJ's dad. I think it's finally hitting him what Mike really means." Jane sighed. "Tommy isn't going to have the kind of Christmas mornings with TJ like we had growing up and that makes me sad for him."

"What kind of Christmas mornings where those?" Maura closed her eyes, trying to picture Jane as a child during the holidays.

"Exciting and happy. We'd wake up early and the boys would come into my room so we could stare at my alarm clock. Rizzoli family rule was Santa did not come before 6am." Jane hugged Maura to her again. "Of course I was the oldest so I had to sneak down the steps and report back to the boys if the man in the big red suit had come."

Maura laughed, picturing Jane stealthily making her way downstairs to check for presents. "I can picture you doing that perfectly."

"Oh yeah, I became damn good at avoiding every squeaking spot in the floor. Came in handy later on when I was a teenager." They laughed together and when they were finished Jane continued. "Eventually the clock would finally read 6am and we'd burst into my parent's bedroom and wake them up. Pop was in charge of going downstairs first to make sure Santa had left and then he'd call all of us down. After that you can imagine it was a complete free-for-all. Paper went everywhere."

"I perhaps could see that." Maura tilted her face up and kissed Jane's jaw.

Jane leaned her cheek against the top of Maura's head and rested quietly for a moment. Finally she let out a soft sigh. "So really, Tommy got to me a little tonight. I started trying to imagine what it would be like to never have a Christmas morning with my kid like we had growing up and I couldn't. It made me too sad to imagine never having that." Jane felt the body she was holding go still and wondered if she had wrecked the moment. The breathing escalated under her arms.

Maura replayed Jane's words in her mind. There was an ambiguous nature to them. Was Jane saying she couldn't imagine Tommy's situation? Where he had a son but wouldn't wake up with him tomorrow morning or was it something more? A cold thrill washed over her and she tried not to let her reaction show. After the struggle they both went through with losing TJ, conversations around children seemed to be a door they avoided opening. Running her fingers back and forth against Jane's hold, Maura wondered if this was Jane's attempt to crack that barrier open but she wasn't certain. Uncertainty aside, the words spoke of future Christmas mornings and Maura wanted those. She threaded her fingers between the ones at her waist. "I would imagine you can have any kind of Christmas morning you wish for in the future."

Jane buried her face into Maura's hair and nodded rapidly.

It was the glow of the Christmas tree against the window pane that brought Maura's attention to the outside. Blinking lights flashed on and off against the inky night and with each burst of illumination lazy white flecks floated down. Maura squeezed Jane's hands. "Look outside, it's snowing."

"It is. I don't remember the weather report calling for it. Looks like Boston will get a true white Christmas this year." Jane watched the flakes drift lazily down. She tapped the watch on Maura's wrist. "What time is it?"

Maura release Jane's fingers and squinted at her watch in the low light from the Christmas tree. "Quarter past 12. " She twisted around to cup Jane's face and bring them together. Her lips traced a familiar path of touch and taste, breaking away and waiting until obsidian eyes flashed open in the muted light. "Merry Christmas."

Jane breathed in the words before tasting them again, softly. "Merry Christmas." Graceful and deliberate, Maura sat upright in her arms until she was kneeling between her legs, hands grasping her thighs. The flash from the lights outside and the falling snow highlighted her briefly and her body hummed with each beat of her heart at the sight.

Maura looked down at Jane, her hair, her parted lips, her chest rising and falling roughly. She brought a finger up to trace the arch of Jane's eyebrow and then down along her temple until she reached her lips. Pressing the tip of her finger against the surface, she watched Jane's eyes drift closed. Swallowing thickly Maura dropped her hand and sat back on her heels. Dark eyes opened and connected. Her mother's words from earlier teased along her senses. She had been astute in her primal analogy of Jane earlier. Family and a future filled with Christmas mornings together. A mate for life. Hers. She cleared her throat from the emotion and her voice came out softer than she intended. "If it's technically Christmas morning, I believe this means that we can open presents."

Jane traced a hand up Maura's zipper. "Santa doesn't come until after 6 am."

Maura could feel Jane's fingertips at the top of her zipper and the shiver that ran down her back left a flush in its wake. Lips reached for hers and she leaned over to meet them, warring with herself at each stroke, letting her words break through. "Please? Just one while it is only you and I?" Maura groaned softly when Jane didn't reach for her again, their forehead touching while she nodded.

"Meet back here in 5?" Jane stroked once more along Maura's backside and down her thigh before she pulled her hands away.

Maura was on her feet and making her way upstairs before she could change her mind. In her bedroom she crouched down and pulled a wrapped box out from under the bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress and rested both palms on the shoebox sized box on her lap. She chewed at her lip, trying to imagine how it would be received.

By the back door Jane rummaged through the bag she'd placed there earlier after wrapping gifts in the guesthouse. She pulled out the wrapped cylinder and shook it lightly. The rattling was not unlike her nerves.

Maura reached the family room first. She paused next to the column in the entryway, gift clutched tightly in her hands as she admired the tree. The shadows of eclectic ornaments were highlighted by the muted twinkle of tinsel caught in the merry shine of tiny lights. This was their first tree together and it had come together beautifully. The picture it made, reassuring. She wanted this for every Christmas.

Jane stood at the edge of the family room and let her eyes absorb the image of Maura across the room, barely discernible in the multi colored lights. Somehow the sight quieted her. Confident now, she walked over to the couch and sat back on the floor, opening her arms until Maura gracefully folded herself back into them. She exhaled softly, relaxing. There wasn't anywhere else she'd rather be. She brushed Maura's hair from the back of her neck and placed a light kiss against warm skin as she placed her gift on Maura's lap. "Would you mind opening mine first?"

Maura put her gift on the floor and pushed it back up Jane's thigh. "I would say we should open them together but I need to see you open yours."

Jane picked up the box and shook it lightly. "Well now I'm curious, hurry up so I can see what's in this." When Maura picked the gift up off her lap, Jane put the box in her hands on the floor and rubbed her hands along her thighs. As the paper started to tear she couldn't help but blurt out. "It's not your real gift. I mean it's sort of a gift, but I got you something else too."

When the paper was partway off Maura realized the cylinder was an empty paper towel tube with paper wadded up in the ends. Curious she looked over her shoulder at Jane who was sucking on her bottom lip and rubbing her palms against her knees. Pulling out the paper from one end she dumped the contents out into her hand, staring at it. Jane's voice came out strained behind her, the words rushing into each other.

"It's the toothbrush from my apartment." Jane buried her face into Maura's shoulder as she flushed, embarrassed. "I wanted to know if it could find a new permanent place here." She took a deep breath in and out. "Next to yours. I let my landlord know I'm not renewing my lease next month. So unless it can come stay here it's going to be homeless."

Maura clutched the toothbrush tightly for a moment before she turned around in Jane's arms and sought out her eyes. "You want to come live with me?"

Jane quickly nodded and cleared her throat. "More than anything if you still want me around. I don't want you to ever question if I want to be with you, or at the end of the day wonder if I'm going to come home to you. This is where I need to be. Where I want to be no matter what." She knew Maura's answer before she finished speaking by the brightness in her eyes but the feel of lips over hers was a relief.

Breaking the kiss Maura left her eyes closed, just feeling Jane against her. She ran her hands roughly through unruly brunette waves. "I might be able to be convinced to make room for your toothbrush next to mine." Blindly she felt along the floor until she hit her gift to Jane and tapped it lightly. "You need to open this right now." When Jane reached for the gift Maura straightened up and tucked her legs carefully under her and folded her hands in her lap.

Jane flicked her eyes over Maura, noticing the poised body language. She offered Maura a half smile which was nervously returned. Intrigued she pulled the box between her legs. The bow was intricate and perfect. She pulled it off and ran her hands over the smooth paper, finally catching an edge and tearing the paper off. Looking back at Maura she noticed her hands were almost fisted together. Trying to lighten the mood she tapped the shoebox cover. "Jimmy Choos? You shouldn't have."

Startled Maura rushed to explain her hands twisting together. "It was the only box I had handy to wrap with at the time."

Jane reached out and clasped Maura's hands, stilling them. "I know, I'm sorry, it was a joke."

Maura's breath escaped on a noisy exhale and she offered a small, genuine, smile that was returned.

With a last glance at Maura, Jane removed the lid and started pulling out tissue paper. The next box was small and square with Christmas wrap that reflected the tree lights. Jane could feel her heart in her throat as she carefully removed the wrapping. The box was navy and embossed. Taking the lid off, Jane tapped the smooth lacquered wooden box free. Her fingertips were cold as she hit the clasp.

When the lid on the ring box sprung free Maura quickly reached out to cover both of Jane's hands with hers, the words tumbling rapidly out of her mouth. "You don't have to say anything right now. It can mean whatever you wish. You don't have to wear it, I'm not trying to pressure you but I needed you to know." Maura blinked rapidly emotion and nerves combining wetly. "Ian showed up and I could see you didn't know." Maura could feel the emotion starting to shake her voice. "And you need to understand. You have to. What you are to me, what I want with you and I didn't know how else to tell you."

Jane could feel the hands trembling over hers and she let the ring box go to turn her hands over and tangle their fingers together. Her voice was thick and strained. "Forget what I want. What do you want Maura?"

"You." The word was rapid fire, instant. Maura clutched Jane's hands. "I want you now and I want you 40 years from now." She knew she was crying and she couldn't help it. "And I wanted to give you something so you could look at it and know that."

Jane knew the answer but somehow she needed to ask, to hear it without a doubt. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

Maura could only nod rapidly.

Jane closed her eyes briefly before she pulled Maura to her, lips pressing against the tear track on her cheek. "You beautiful thing you." She kissed down to the corner of Maura's mouth. "You beautiful, brave, thing." Their lips brushed together. "I love you." She pulled away long enough to murmur "Of course I'll marry you." The rest of her commitment was offered as Maura's lips parted softly under hers and she slipped in, repeating her answer with every touch between them.

Gently they broke apart, blinking, staring at each other.

Jane leaned back slightly and picked up the ring box. She traced her finger over the jewelry inside. It was square and bold without being ostentatious or obvious. "We should make this official." Plucking it out, she held the ring out to Maura and offered her hand. The platinum band slipped into place.

Maura touched the inlaid emerald-cut center stone, slightly larger than the inset ones beside it. "It's a black diamond. They symbolize deep feelings and infinite possibilities in a life together. If you don't like it we can have the stone swapped for something more traditional."

"It's perfect. I love it." Jane captured Maura's hand again and squeezed. "Can you wait here a second?" Maura looked confused but she nodded. Jane rushed upstairs and opened up her underwear drawer, pulling out the ring box. She was just about to leave when she stopped and went back. Opening up the drawer again she fished around until she found the small silk satchel. She opened it up and dumped it onto the bureau. Removing the ring from the box she slipped it into the scrap of cotton and returned them both to the little bag before hurrying back downstairs.

Kneeling in front of Maura Jane held out the satchel. "I'm sorry it's not wrapped." When Maura accepted the little bag her heart started thudding in her chest. Hands now empty she rubbed over and around the scars in her palms.

Maura opened the bag and pulled out the little baby sock. She looked at Jane, confused for a moment before memories aligned themselves and her mouth opened on a soft, breathy "Oh." She fingered the little sock, remembered finding it under her hallway table the day Lydia took back TJ. She could still feel the ache and how alone she had felt until Jane had suddenly just been there, holding her. She could still feel the echo of the kiss that followed and the first feel of Jane's body around her. "You pried this sock out of my hand."

Jane could feel the pressure building behind her eyes. Her voice was soft. "It's part of my promise to you. The rest is inside."

Maura felt along inside the sock until her fingertip hit metal. Pulling it out she looked at the faceted sparkle in the diamond flashing.

"Marry me Maura." Jane waited until Maura looked at her. "You said earlier tonight that I could have any kind of Christmas morning I wished for in the future." Jane reached out to clasp Maura's wrists. "I want you to be my fiancée this Christmas and my wife next Christmas. I want to wake up one Christmas morning at 6am because our children couldn't wait a minute longer." She scooted closer. "I want the world to know when they look at you that you have someone waiting for you at home that loves you very much." Jane took the ring out of Maura's fingers. "So will you marry me Maura?"

Maura swallowed around the tightness in her throat. "Yes." The answer was surprisingly easy to give. Yes she wanted to marry Jane. Yes she wanted Jane's children. Yes she wanted everything the rest of their lives had to offer. In the end it didn't need to be analyzed, the answer to this equation was inevitable from the day they had met.

Maura watched the ring slide over her finger. It sparkled in the tree lights as her hand moved up Jane's arm and along her shoulder to clasp the side of her neck while her thumb stroked along soft skin. She took in Jane's features, the glow of the holidays highlighting the snow falling softly outside. "Love me?"

There was no mistaking the intent in the hazel eyes shining back at her and Jane dragged Maura's zipper down. She brushed the back of her fingers up along bare skin. "Always." She took a last glance at the tree glowing warmly before gave herself over to the want in Maura's eyes.

Outside the night stood sentinel as multicolored lights flashed against falling snow. Inside, silent evergreen boughs glinted softly as their bodies met and combined.

Lips were warm against her skin and the words were breathy in her ear. Maura tangled her hand in Jane's hair and pulled her closer "Merry Christmas."

Jane felt hands slide over her and the world narrowed to the space between them. "Merry Christmas."

Warm and safe, wrapped up in each other, the physical met the emotional as they melted into unique gift that was them, together.

**=End=**

* * *

A/N – And so we've reached the end of what was originally the epilogue to When the Bough Breaks that I decided to break off and turn it into a standalone story. If the end WTBB felt a tiny bit abrupt compared to my usual style this is why :).

The end also means we're at the fun part where I hope people let me know if they liked the story ;) I know I'm late with ending a Christmas fic but I didn't want to rush and ruin for those who stuck by me chapter by chapter.

By now you all know a particular holiday ear worm provided the general flow I used to expand the epilogue…. 12 Pains of Christmas, each chapter had hints and later chapters more from the song weaved in.

And there was a (hopefully) show level 'case' to solve riding the surface – intended to be rather obvious since the story wasn't, at heart, about the case…. And I couldn't resist having the case come together is a way that you could put a pretty little bow on top somewhat like show under the constraints of TV does.

But neither of those subplots are what I really decided to write about in a sequel to When the Bough Breaks.

I looked at it this way; if WTBB was ultimately a story mired in real life style angst as a result of life altering events, events that brought family and relationships down to their base and then set them up to reform, then Morphology of Snow needed to be written about the only thing powerful enough to let that reformation happen…Love.

Love and its many varied nuances. Impossible to capture in 40k worth of words over a tiny snapshot of life in a story but I gave it a go from my perspective in this 'universe'. I do understand my word is hardly absolute truth, we all have our own individual interpretations based our own life experiences, but this is mine in the world started with WTBB.

In Morphology of Snow I hope that love can be seen from a mother's love for their children or siblings for each other. Those subtle and not so subtle interactions where you guide each other and support each other, directly or indirectly.

Love can also come from friends, especially when those friends become an extension of family. Friends can be honest enough to call you on your flaws but love you all the same. Friends can know you well enough to guess when you are hurting and what might be hurting you. Friends will do things for each other - even if they are coerced into wearing a fuzzy red Santa hat because you found yourself stuck wearing one.

And of course, love is the heart of everything with a significant other. I think it is easy to equate love in a story only with the simple romance of two people getting together and riding off into the sunset. And that is part of love. One of the very best parts of it. But eventually after you head off together you have to continue to grow together or you will fall apart. That means facing each other's flaws and nuances under the pressures of your everyday life as you try to create a future together.

That to me is what real love is and in Morph I tried to explore a brief glimpse of that.

Deep abiding love between two people who share heart and body over time has manifestations in many little ways. Some would say this is different than romantic love but I disagree. True romance is the ability of two people to stand the test of life and still say "I love you" at the end of it.

Love is the ability to accept the entirety of the person you are with. It shows in accepting the past that formed them into the person that they are. The older we are, the more life we have lived and the more past we take forward. Love is in realizing that past could become tangible in the form of a ex lover on a snowy night or internal wounds that make a person act in ways that make little logical sense on the surface. Love is in navigating those reminders, together, understanding that the existence of them does not mean you are loved less, even if the demons of insecurity snap at your heels. Love is shown in the patience and at times pain that come from helping your significant other when that past trickles into your present.

Love can even be seen through strife. Perhaps especially though strife where human flaws lead the way. Nobody is perfect. No reaction is cut and dry. It is not always balanced. In WTBB there was a little more sacrifice on Maura's part (to me). In Morph I flipped it and we see Jane giving a little more (again from my perspective). Both stories have the characters taking and giving but often there is a tiny bit more offered by one person to make it all work. Because that is often how love in real life happens. Sometimes you give more and sometimes you take more. When you are old and grey and looking back, that bigger picture is often equalized – it can just be hard to see it in the moment.

Finally, to me, there is a reason people in an intimate relationship are called lovers. Love can be paramount in the physical moments between two people and the spectrum of what occurs without words can hardly be put in a single story, but here we see four manifestations of the physical side of intimacy. Ch 3 was reconnection and affirmation Ch 8 was reclaiming and reassurance Ch 11 was desire and adoration and we end with Ch 15 which is physical love as celebration.

Because in the end, love in all of its many forms is exactly that – a celebration.

With the conclusion of Morphology I hoped I showed our girls are on the same page. Each willing to offer the next step in their life together the way they thought the other one needed and wanted. In doing that for each other, in giving freely out of love, they come together in the exact same place, whole in the end.

As always my deepest thanks to everyone for reading, for reviewing and for critiquing. I started writing again for my own entertainment but now knowing there are people to write for changed the experience for me. Getting to interact with people in real time and after a story is finished, seeing their thoughts has become near and dear in the process and my greatest motivator.

(writer also promises she is done with quasi/pseudo philosophical-ish fics for awhile before you all think she is a melodramatic freak;) Back to pure fanfic )


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